Time to go for it, girlies !

Any old farts of a grumpy disposition need not apply :)

sorry golddog....:)

The owner of a gasoline station in Tattnall County, Georgia was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a billboard showing "FREE SEX WITH FILL-UP!"
Soon a local young man, Jim filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.
The owner told him "pick a number froom 1 to 10; if you pick the right number, you will get your free sex." Jim picked the numner 8, and the gas station owner said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."
A week later Jim, along with his buddy Bill, pulled into the station. Jim filled his gas tank, and again asked for his free sex. The station owner gave him the same story again, and asked him to guess a
number. This time, Jim guessed 2. The station owner said, "Sorry, the correct number was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."
As they were driving away from the gasoline station, Jim said to Bill, "I think that game is rigged, and he doesn't really give away free sex."
Bill replied, "No it ain't rigged Jim. My wife won twice last week."

Top Ten things men understand about women

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says it all chaps just no point trying

girls ill admit to most of the below.......


Because I'm a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.

Because I'm a guy, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a guy, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a guy, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk, or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu." For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a guy, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a guy, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger--how the heck could HE know where we're going?

Because I'm a guy, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a guy, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is ok, I don't need to see it. Did you remember to pick up something for my mom, too?

Because I'm a guy, I am capable of announcing, "one more beer and I really have to go," and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I'll be home soon, and no, I don't understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. What's the connection?

Because I'm a guy, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a guy, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating.

Because I'm a guy, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a guy and this is, after all, the new millennium, I will share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

Is this a one-man crusade, mos?

Because I'm a girlie, I've never needed to worry about fixing a flat tyre... just get out of the car and start walking - works every time.

And because I'm a girlie, I know we wouldn't have been lost at all if I'd been driving.

And, oh - because I'm a girlie, I know how to fix an appliance - hiding the remote control is the obvious ploy...but there are others. ;)

Oh Choccie such Porky Pies,

I know for a fact you can't even remember where you have parked your car.

You couldn't phone for help for the flat tyre, because you wouldn't be able to remember where your mobile is.



When stopped on Princess Street Manchester the police said to Choccie " This is a one-way Madam" and Choccie said "But I'm only going one-way"

I've got to admit women are good drivers, it's just the stopping and parking they have trouble with :-)

Tin Hat on, waiting for the Exorcet.

choccie ,always goes one way..::)

Yes. Just like the thread header says....

"Girls are gorgeous"

We love 'em to bits. :-)

You're such a tell-tale, Sputtie :)

Right, I want a list of names of all those on here who qualify as "girls".

No fibbing now ladies!

OK I'll start.

chocolat
DocProc
Kayak

any others?

i cried like a girl,when take that split up...does that count:)

Well, I did think once or twice about shaving my legs and actually, my wife suggested I try out an epilator, which I duly did - for 0.05 seconds. Aaaargh!!

Oh, and 'ET' always makes me cry, particularly the bit when it turns out he hasn't actually died.

Well Lads you seem to be getting in touch with your feminine side. A friends daughter works for Thames Water and they are having a problem with high levels of estrogen in Londons water, so remember after it has been through the system 7 times and is non biodegradable, you might not be the only gay at the party drinking water.

Pink dresses on Thursdays is what counts, mos ;)

It's just a graphic!

but yummy yummy.

It's almost spring and girls are starting to show their belly buttons.....

I've just thrown breakfast, Mike! ;-))

The lady obviously didn't....oh my, she is gorgeous!

Bullshare, this is a 'girls are gorgeous' thread, not 'girls that make you heave' thread.