CLOSED - THANKS to all customers for the last few years

Same here Socs, lovely day going into town now, not even time for tea.

Good morning coffe house croones.
Jobs for me this weekend, have a good un

It is nice to see that there are others up and about on a Saturday morning. I've already been out to lodge the cat in the local Stalag Luft Katz because I have a few days off. Freedom to come and go as I please without worrying about feeding the mog.

I see in my newspaper today a sheep has had five lambs all at once. I am thinking of contacting the FSA because the news was obviously leaked and there was some insider trading in my mint sauce factory shares.

I have decided to join the modern age and buy a mobile phone, can anybody advise how long a lead it should have?

Socs
I would suggest you try the Early Learning Centre version first.

Jeff
Does it have pictures on the buttons instead of numbers?

Socs..I see you've got William the Conqueror's number up.

I want to know why, when they're all trying to make the blasted phones smaller,
somebody doesn't make the actual letters/numbers magnified so my minces can read them.

LW
They are all made for bright young things to use, not us "mature" people. I have just purchased a nice neat little Samsung phone. Would you believe it comes with a 158 page manual? All I want to do with it is talk to people for goodness sake, not programme the planet.

It's odd that you said I've William the Conqueror's number up. You must have heard about WIlliam reviewing his archers, they were all superb shots, bulls eyes every time except for one archer. He couldn't hit a barn door at ten paces. William turned to one of his officers and said "watch that beggar, he'll have someone's eye out before the day is over"!

Socs, sit down in this corner and lets have a look at this manual. First thing we will do is cross out all the irrelevent items, then we will go through it again. First things first I'm going to have a Guinness, what about you?

optomistic
Have you got a magnifying glass because you will need it for the manual. I've managed to charge the phone and even managed to switch it on. Also checked it from my landline, success. I'm getting there slowly.

No Guinness for me thanks, I'll stick to the sherry trifle.

Socs leave the charging for as long as it says in the book before you use it, better for the battery life, or so as I waa told by a well known shop salesperson (the shop). BTW I have a very old mobile and still don't know how to use it to the full so no worries! Can I have a sherry trifle AFTER my Guinness please? Not quite so much of it about these days.

Not very much Sherry trifle or Guinness? If you are referring to trifle you have obviously not found my emergency supply. Where did you think I disappear to in the evenings?

Now that explains it Socs. I know where the Guiness is now where is the trifle kept. Both Bunny and Prisciila have to keep on producing exotic dishes when sherry trifle would be great, Even now they must be at home planning next weeks delights :-)

158 pages? Must be a standard phone, then. ;-))

Where's the cushion chuckers today? Must be cooking or cleaning I guess. I'll just take a nap by the fire whilst it's quiet.

That should bring someone in Al!!

No Al they must be watching TV!

Jeez, BigA - can't you nap quietly?
There I was having a quick swing after a hard day's cooking, cleaning and chucking..

Have you cooked a meal tonight or had a Chinese Choccy?

Big Al
It may be standard to you but it is rocket science to me.

Opto
The trifle is out the back in a big shed marked "Socco's Sherry Trifle Store". It is actually a redundant Jumbo Jet hangar filled with sherry trifle tanks, I was offered a bigger shed but one doesn't want to overdo it does one? Help yourself but bring your own spoon.

Never go without my spoon Socs :-0)

Socs - I was joking. ;-)) These things are unbelievable just to make a call on the move, eh?

trust Choccy to arrive and wake me from my slumber. Better get the bleedin' digestifs out then. LOL