End-of-day Market Roundup

        JOKE OF THE DAY

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman apply to join the SAS.
In the recruiting interview, they are each asked
if they have a relative with them.

The Englishman has his mother with him, the Jock his wife
and the Irishman his Grandmother.

As a demonstration of absolute loyalty to the regiment,
each man is given a revolver and asked to go out
to the waiting room and shoot the relative.

The Englishman and Scotsman go out in turn, but return in shame,
unable to pull the trigger.

The Irishman goes out and a melee ensues, chairs and tables crashing
to the ground, grunts and screams issue forth....eventually silence
falls and the Irishman crashes back into the interview room....."

This gun wasn't loaded," he exclaims, "I had to strangle the bitch!"