JOKE OF THE DAY

A man walks into a bar and asks the barman,
'Was I in here last night?'

'You certainly were,' replies the barman.

'And did I spend a lot of money?'

'You spent over 100', replies the barman.

'Thank god for that,' says the man, 'I thought I'd wasted it.'

Morning all. Friday's market reports:

Telegraph
Telegraph (Bloomberg summary)
The Times
FT
The Guardian
The Independent
This is Money

Shanghai 'stir-fry' frenzy could be recipe for disaster

Good morning traders!

In Asia today, the Hang Seng ended the morning up 522.41 points at 20,990.62,
while the Nikkei ended the morning session up 187.02 points at 17,740.74.

New York Mercanitle Exchange's main oil futures contract, light sweet crude for
delivery in June, was down 7 cents at $62.30 per barrel from $62.37 in late trading
in the US Friday.

Happy trading!

G.

NIKKEI	AUSTRALIA	SHANGHAI	HANG SENG

OUTLOOK - UK companies results for 2 weeks to May 25

Asian markets summaryAsian economic and corporate news summary

The Monday Press Roundup

*CENTRICA SAYS OVERALL MARKET OUTLOOK ENCOURAGING, BUT PRICE UNCERTAINTY REMAINS

BT.A buy - target 360 - Dresdner Kleinwort
CBRY reiterated hold - target 635 from 600 - ABN Amro
ITRK reiterated overweight - target 1050 from 950 - HSBC
LSE reiterated underweight - target 1300 from 1250 - Morgan Stanley
MPI downgraded to buy from conviction buy - Goldman Sachs
MSY downgraded to hold from buy - target 250 - Merrill Lynch
UBM reiterated buy - target 880 from 805 - Merrill Lynch
UMB initiated buy - target 220 - Panmure Gordon

Thomson Financial UK at a glance share guide

Morning all.

It's early afternoon and Clive Cooke is very excited. "The Footsie's on fire," he booms. "Wall Street's on song as well. It's a very good day."

Cooke, 49, is chief executive of City Index, the private company owned by Icap chief executive Michael Spencer that offers trading in contracts for difference, foreign exchange and spreadbetting.

'Betting? No, it's just trading'

London shares outlook - firmer, Wall St gains on rate cut hopes, M&A in focus

STOCKWATCH Rio Tinto downgraded to 'neutral' from 'overweight' at HSBC

STOCKWATCH Smith & Nephew kept at 'buy' by Deutsche Bank after BlueSky purchaseAustralian shares close higher on US lead

Tokyo shares close higher on weaker yen, advance on Wall Street

STOCKWATCH Compass reiterated as 'buy' at ABN Amro after sale of Selecta

STOCKWATCH Fortis seen opening lower on ABN bid disclosure

Australian shares close higher on US lead - UPDATE

Tokyo shares close higher on weaker yen, advance on Wall Street - UPDATEUK smallcap opening - Alpha Airports up after signing agreement with Starbucks