Fancy dress joke

A guy goes into a fancy dress shop and goes to the vampire section. The girl behind the counter says, "Maybe you should try the West Ham United football shop across the street". Guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misheard me. I said I wanted to dress like a count".








Deal or No Deal

ref un-named premier footballer:

I went on Mastermind last week and my specialist subject was Manchester United.
John Humphreys asked, Question one: Which Man United player is known as the Welsh Wizard?
I said,I couldnt say.
He said, Correct, question two


Man Utd awards dinner thrown into choas as "top premiership footballer" "top flight premiership footballer and "anonymous premiership footballer" win player of the year!

Nobody told me that Imogen Thomas was a talented musician?
Well - apparantly shes being doing giggs around Manchester for the past eight months

Ryan Giggs today admitted to suffering from homesickness, saying that even though hes happy in Manchester he does Miss Wales occasionally

Help!!!!!!!!! Does anyone know how to cancel an ebay bid? I made an offer for a mickey mouse outfit and now I am 6 minutes away from owning Liverpool football club.

Funny how half these jokes come from the mens mag Nuts?

What's funny I did not say I made them up just a bit of light relief from the FTSE which will be down 50 points today. Looks like the shorts will have today.

Heard Imogen is going to start a career in singing, She'll be doing gigs in Manchester, Birmingham and Liverpool...

Can I have a Blackburn Rovers joke, please? (I know, I know, just mentioning the name is enough to make some people fall about laughing)

How many Blackburn Rovers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

5. 1 to change the bulb, 1 to hold the ladder, 1 to kick sh*t out of the old bulb and 2 to protest to the rest of the world that lightbulb changing is a man's game and if it can't take a kick it shouldn't be there and besides it doesn't matter the point is they TRIED to change it and are therefore better than you!

6. Apparently, when Harry Redknapp was West ham manager he offered to send the squad on an all expenses paid holiday to Florida but they declined. They'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.

16. Apparantly, Blackburn football club is under investigation by the Inland Revenue for tax evasion.
- they've been claiming for Silver Polish for the past 30 years.

Have you heard the news that Chelsea FC are getting a new sponsor? It is going to be Viagra, Its the only way they can get past a semi.

Thanks Skinny and Bernard. (BTW Bernard, doesn't Premier League and League Cup count?)

Re: topical jokes about Liverpool FC

Following their last defeate liverpool have set up a a helpline to assist their fans through this distressing time the number is 0800 10 10 10, that number was selected as its easy for the fans to remember 0800 won nothing, won nothing, won nothing

Re: topical jokes about Liverpool FC
Scouser is walking down the high street in Croydon when he sees a video entitled "Liverpool The Glory Years" in the window display of a chairty shop.

He goes in and says to the assistant: "Eh ar kid, ow much for the 'Pool video like?"

After wiping the phlegm from his face, the assistant replies: "100."

"That's a bit steep innit la?, the lovable cheeky scamp asks, "ow come its dat dear soft lad?"

"Well," the assistant says, "it's 1 for the tape and 99 for the Betamax player."

A Liverpool fan goes to a restaurant for the first time in his life, looks at the menu and is ready to order but has a question for the waiter. He noticed that they have caviar and wants to know what this is. The waiter replies " these are fish eggs sir" The Liverpool fan replies, OK I have two eggs but not to hard boiled please.

Stevie G is celebrating; "43 days, 43 days!" he shouts happilly. Alex Curran asks him why hes celebrating.
He answers "Well Honey, Ive done this jigsaw in only 43 days."

Apparantly Ryan Giggs' wife has left him and taken half his belongings.
She now has 6 more league medals than Stephen Gerrard.

A Liverpool prostitute has taken out a super injuntion to stop people saying that she slept with Wayne Rooney.

Not a joke, well not for giggsy.

Stacey Giggs leaves the house without her wedding ring, oh dear Ryan
Posted by heatworld 24 May 2011 16:58

Tags:Ryan Giggs Stacey Giggs

Stacey Giggs must be having a tough old day but we suspect that Ryans day is about to get much worse. Stacey was spotted leaving her house without her wedding ring. Oh dear.

Thats the sort of subtle signal even footballers can pick up on. Cheryl Cole did it when Ashley had been fooling around with hairdressers.

Yesterday the super injunction was finally broken so the newspapers were allowed to say what had been bouncing around the internet for months; Ryan Giggs is a very naughty boy.

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