re - eats shoots and leaves!

        JOKE OF THE DAY

A panda goes out for a drink one evening
Whilst having a drink he gets talking with a woman "marni".

One thing leads to another and he ends up back at her place
for the night, during which they make mad passionate love.

Come the morning she asks the Panda for some money.
'Why do you want money?' the Panda asks.
'I'm a prostitute' replies the woman.

'A what?' asks the Panda.
At this the woman gets a dictionary down and tells
the Panda to look up the word prostitute.

The Panda reads ' Prostitute - a woman who performs sexual acts for money'

'Oh' says the Panda, 'then I think you should read this' and he hands
the dictionary over to the prostitute open at the page with Panda on it.

This entry states ' Panda - eats, roots, shoots and leaves'
With that he exits the house!

A mathematician an accountant and the Master RSI apply for the same job
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four". The interviewer asks "Four exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes four exactly"
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average four give or take ten percent but on average four."
Then the interviewer calls in the Master RSI and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" Master RSI gets up locks the door closes the shade sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

that's along the lines of what a creative - sorry, thinking - accountant should ask

Cynicthe Master is far too clever for mehe just plucks air out of the air with the ease of Paul Danielsand when I try to understandI need the help of Jack Daniel'swhatever he touches turns to gold.paint

another down day for lloy.......what a surprise!
wonder what spin the master idiot will come up tonight for this one.

looks like he could be holding this one for next 10 to 15 years right enough dil and tabasco

t
its difficult for me to say and admit this but i shall. your post 1119 is among one of the best i have read and most relevent that requires no pictures. i am finding this board in general is becoming less and less interesting to me. maybe i can contribute by stopping posting or by posting less frequently. i shall sleep on it. not looking for cuddles. far from it. i dont need em.
regards
edit just so there is no misunderstanding, i already get lots.

Good morning all>

Jkdthanks mateyou are a Gentleman.and whilst I wont be giving you a cuddleas Jesus once saida man that sleeps with another man should be stoned and personally I believe it helpsI am 100% heterosexualanyway your good lady will be in a league of her own

a slightly homophobic Jesus with some wit might have said, a man that sleeps with another man would need to be stoned, but i don't recollect reading or hearing of the quote you give anywhere!

Where's mr tosser this morning ?

here!

Cynichave you not been stoned?since when have I had to explain my jokes to you?

Anywayif I had to sleep with another man.I would make sure a woman was in the middleffs joke..
lloy up...enter the Dragon...

as a non-smoker, when i tried dope (for a dope) on a couple of occasions many years ago, it just made me feel horribly seasick

Cynicolives made me sick the first time I tried themBTW Im a clever cockneywent to Cambridge.found Newmarket without GPS

Morgan Stanley view

Price Target 80p to 105p

Upgrade to Equal-weight. Based on recent credit
healing and improving underlying property markets, we
have reduced our impairment assumptions over the next
few years. On this basis we believe the APS no longer
provides value for money, and would view positively any
effort to exit partially or totally. This may also reduce EU
pressure for value-destroying core asset sales, another
of our concerns. This, alongside the ~20% pull back in
the stock in the last few weeks, makes us feel the need
to be underweight is less strong on a 12-18 month view
albeit we fully recognise the next 1-2 months will have
risks to shareholders

We remain cautious on asset quality (significant
negative mortgage equity and commercial property
NPLs) and the FSA required capital may be sizeable.
We think a possible scenario is ~7bn of sub-debt
conversion and 9bn equity raise for a partial exit
(10bn swap with a ~15bn rights issue for full exit). The
resulting implied multiples of ~7x are not demanding.

Limited valuation differences. Our scenario work
suggests that if LBG moves from public (i.e. APS) to
private insurance, there is less value impact than
perceived, all other things being equal. However, we
appreciate that an exit from APS could also help the EU
debate as well as investors concerns, but at the
expense of a potential sizeable supply event short term.
Higher liquidity/term funding may weigh on margin.

The new FSA policy is likely to lead to higher holdings of
low-yielding gilts and possibly terming out of short-term
funding. However, the impact may be <5% of GOP. This
is reflected in our sub-consensus margin assumptions.

morgan stanley........haha.....they are a joke

chinese lost 2.4 billion on them at 1 stage last year by trying to bail out stupid yanks

nice try mr tosser in trying to get sp up but these goons aint a clue and teir reputation is in tatters........NO-ONE BELIEVES IN MS, CITIGROUP ETC ANYMORE

marni - civility costs nothing; your perpetual stream of personal abuse is boorish and uncalled for

Make of it what you like, but it makes sence if you are looking ahead like me.
I was busy early this morning as a - property business consultant - came to see me, taking notes
about upgrading my house. For I am not alone lately for the number of scaffolding being place around town.

Courtesy of " city trader "..............

Technology is soaring ahead.

the USA is already recovering fast and health care will cause so much demand for medical services
it's a stimulation package kin itself, and will take the world GDP very high.

US banking shares are recovering.

there are mixed indicators. Hey there have ALWAYS been mixed indicators!

Industries are being ditched, reformed...almost rapped into different shapes and modes of operating.

Everyone in the UK's secret weapon...the HOUSING MARKET...wants MORTGAGES...banks staple diet.

This is the best time ever to BUY LLOYDS

I've followed it for 40 years & studied trends since 1714

BUY! BUY! BUY!

that is the end of someone very bullish

some here would assume the scaffolding was for hanging parties!

as a more general aside, though the markets have dropped back, my own belief is that Dow has quite good reason to be strong again .....

Google - excellent results
IBM - earnings beat forecast though revenue a bit disappointing
GE - earnings easily beat forecast though revenue fell short
BoA - to report before market opening

I've followed it for 40 years & studied trends since 1714..what is he .a turtle?