End-of-day Market Summary

           JOKE OF THE DAY

There may be no perfect time to break off a relationship,
but there are definitely some occasions
when making your move is ill-advised .....

In the Middle of Sex.
Women generally feel vulnerable enough when they are riding you
like the latest attraction at Disneyland.
They feel self-conscious about how they look naked.
Don't tell your girl to "Get the hell off!" when she's about
to swallow some bodily fluids. Wait until she finishes that part.
And don't break up with the poor girl right after she asks,
"Do I look fat in this?" She will either slit her wrists
or buy a carton of ice cream to eat in one sitting.
Neither scenario is pretty.

At a Comedy Show.
It's one thing to heckle the comic on stage because he sucks.
It's just rude, though, to interrupt his routine because you feel
the sudden compulsion to tell your girl you wish she were dead.
If the comedian has any balls, he'll improvise and make you part
of his routine, asking your brand new ex to come on stage
and talk about how small your pee pee is.
Then we will all be laughing at you rather than with you.

When sloppy drunk
You already look like a moron staggering around and dropping your beer bottle.
If your girl is the only person in the room who cares whether you get home
in one piece, you probably don't need to launch into a monologue about
how you wish she would take a permanent vacation.
If you rely on her to get you home and yet you still piss her off,
she may pull over on the side of the freeway when you start
puking and then drive away.