Dont forget the Bonus Catchphrase here comes "Mr Chips".

My Palestinian friendI am just having a Giraffeyou are naughtybut I like younow answer Dil

This is a lloy thread irrespective of the alien life contributor - no doubt I'll get another insult by return :-(

tabasco

I am naughty alright if they ask for, now i hope you do not want to reach that point.

But maybe you do want to reach for the bottle and get Piss

note : You have posted so may times " My Palestinian friend " that some poster may think is true, and maybe you too after being Piss ( drunk )

kernow

re - no doubt I'll get another insult by return

not from me, many posters have many pass time and nothing to aport to the thread I am afraid, maybe you could be just another one...........

now if you would like a bit of it, just tried again, I can not see anything positive to LLOY from you either.

Alien or no alien

My Palestinian friendyou have just upset Kermit

call the RSPCA time to squelch.

                           JOKE OF THE DAY

         re- call the RSPCA

         Someone came for you rescue ( halifax ) and see what happens to LLOY after

         

halifax

Is better sometimes to keep your mouth close when dealing with the "Master"

note: The only animal making the same mistake time an time again is the human being

RSPCA = Charity working for the Five Freedoms for animals through legislation.

        CLOSING MARKET REPORT

Another tumble on the Dubai bourse this morning also added to the gloom for banks that have any exposure in the Gulf region,
ahead of tomorrow's pre-Budget statement which is expected to include a tax claw-back on bonus payments.

Royal Bank of Scotland headed the losers, the shares down 2.55p at 30.45p, while Lloyds bucked the trend
by ticking up 0.08p at 53.77p, Barclays fell 9.55p at 287.5p, HSBC lost 17.7p at 695.1p and Standard Chartered,
due to publish a trading statement tomorrow, slumped 55.5p at 1,437p.

GREAT WAY TO LOSE MONEY.

Pre-Budget report

1240 - The chancellor confirms that VAT is going back up on 1 January to 17.5%, but says he has no other announcements on VAT. This may surprise some commentators who had suspected it could go up further in the not too distant future.

1241 - Confirmation too that the 1p rise in corporation tax is being postponed.

1249 - Mr Darling confirms that the basic state pension will rise by 2.5% in 2010.

1251 - As expected, the chancellor confirms that the UK economy will shrink by 4.75% this year, but predicts it will grow by between 1% and 1.5% during 2010.

Pre-Budget report

MAIN POINTS SO FAR:
Economy predicted to shrink by 4.75% this year.
VAT to revert to 17.5% on 1 January.
Bingo duty to fall from 22% to 20% in April.
The 1p rise in corporation tax to be postponed.
Basic state pension to rise by 2.5% next year.

Pre-Budget report

1251 - As expected, the chancellor confirms that the UK economy will shrink by 4.75% this year, but predicts it will grow by between 1% and 1.5% during 2010. As he refers to "the strength of our economy" there are laughs from the opposition benches.

1254 - Mr Darling says his timetable for cutting the budget deficit by half over four years is "sensible", but admits that this year's borrowing will be higher than expected - 178bn rather than 175bn. It will also be 3bn higher in 2010/11 than previously forecast.

1305 - The chancellor says he will cut to 10p the corporation tax on profits from companies promoting research and development.

1307 - Here it comes. Bankers' bonuses over 25,000 will be subject to a one-off 50% tax. The individual will not pay, their employer will - all bonuses over 25,000 will be pooled and then taxed en masse. Therefore, the chancellor says, banks can use their profits to build up their capital base, or, if they use it for bonuses, they will have to give a large sum back to the taxpayer.

1309 - Another much-anticipated announcement - the inheritance tax threshold will not be raised from 325,000 to 350,000 as planned. The chancellor says it is simply not a priority right now.

Did it mention anything about your VOG holding ?

Did you know the B@STARDS keeps pipping in and out of LLOY board, is having a break from last night SHEEP SHAGGING.

a joke is about it .... to .... come

        JOKE OF THE DAY

The Welshman " Dill " buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant,
and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

" Dill " doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to
display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in
grass when they are pregnant. Ivor hangs up the phone and gives it some thought.
He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep.

So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods,
has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep.

Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try
didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the
woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and
goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.

One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive
them out to the woods. Ivor spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon
returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he can not even raise himself from the bed to look
at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep
are laying in the grass. No," she says, "they're all in the truck
and one of them is honking the horn."

So Dils real name is Ivor Or could it be Ivor Dil?