call the RSPCA time to squelch.

                           JOKE OF THE DAY

         re- call the RSPCA

         Someone came for you rescue ( halifax ) and see what happens to LLOY after

         

halifax

Is better sometimes to keep your mouth close when dealing with the "Master"

note: The only animal making the same mistake time an time again is the human being

RSPCA = Charity working for the Five Freedoms for animals through legislation.

        CLOSING MARKET REPORT

Another tumble on the Dubai bourse this morning also added to the gloom for banks that have any exposure in the Gulf region,
ahead of tomorrow's pre-Budget statement which is expected to include a tax claw-back on bonus payments.

Royal Bank of Scotland headed the losers, the shares down 2.55p at 30.45p, while Lloyds bucked the trend
by ticking up 0.08p at 53.77p, Barclays fell 9.55p at 287.5p, HSBC lost 17.7p at 695.1p and Standard Chartered,
due to publish a trading statement tomorrow, slumped 55.5p at 1,437p.

GREAT WAY TO LOSE MONEY.

Pre-Budget report

1240 - The chancellor confirms that VAT is going back up on 1 January to 17.5%, but says he has no other announcements on VAT. This may surprise some commentators who had suspected it could go up further in the not too distant future.

1241 - Confirmation too that the 1p rise in corporation tax is being postponed.

1249 - Mr Darling confirms that the basic state pension will rise by 2.5% in 2010.

1251 - As expected, the chancellor confirms that the UK economy will shrink by 4.75% this year, but predicts it will grow by between 1% and 1.5% during 2010.

Pre-Budget report

MAIN POINTS SO FAR:
Economy predicted to shrink by 4.75% this year.
VAT to revert to 17.5% on 1 January.
Bingo duty to fall from 22% to 20% in April.
The 1p rise in corporation tax to be postponed.
Basic state pension to rise by 2.5% next year.

Pre-Budget report

1251 - As expected, the chancellor confirms that the UK economy will shrink by 4.75% this year, but predicts it will grow by between 1% and 1.5% during 2010. As he refers to "the strength of our economy" there are laughs from the opposition benches.

1254 - Mr Darling says his timetable for cutting the budget deficit by half over four years is "sensible", but admits that this year's borrowing will be higher than expected - 178bn rather than 175bn. It will also be 3bn higher in 2010/11 than previously forecast.

1305 - The chancellor says he will cut to 10p the corporation tax on profits from companies promoting research and development.

1307 - Here it comes. Bankers' bonuses over 25,000 will be subject to a one-off 50% tax. The individual will not pay, their employer will - all bonuses over 25,000 will be pooled and then taxed en masse. Therefore, the chancellor says, banks can use their profits to build up their capital base, or, if they use it for bonuses, they will have to give a large sum back to the taxpayer.

1309 - Another much-anticipated announcement - the inheritance tax threshold will not be raised from 325,000 to 350,000 as planned. The chancellor says it is simply not a priority right now.

Did it mention anything about your VOG holding ?

Did you know the B@STARDS keeps pipping in and out of LLOY board, is having a break from last night SHEEP SHAGGING.

a joke is about it .... to .... come

        JOKE OF THE DAY

The Welshman " Dill " buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant,
and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

" Dill " doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to
display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in
grass when they are pregnant. Ivor hangs up the phone and gives it some thought.
He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep.

So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods,
has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep.

Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try
didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the
woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and
goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.

One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive
them out to the woods. Ivor spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon
returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he can not even raise himself from the bed to look
at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep
are laying in the grass. No," she says, "they're all in the truck
and one of them is honking the horn."

So Dils real name is Ivor Or could it be Ivor Dil?

LLOY top of the TOPS.........ahead of tomorrow's dealine


Market Movers - Top risers and fallers at 11:00

FTSE 100
LLOYDS GRP. ORD 10P 56.88 4.00%
ROYAL BANK SCOT ORD 25P 31.54 3.99%
ADMIRAL GRP ORD 0.1P 1126.00 3.49%
BARCLAYS ORD 25P 286.05 2.86%
MAN GROUP USD0.03428571 311.30 2.30%

RIO TINTO ORD 10P 3100.50 -1.26%
TULLOW OIL ORD 10P 1256.00 -1.26%
LONMIN ORD SHS USD1 1715.00 -1.04%
LAND SECS. ORD 10P 640.50 -1.00%
AMEC ORD 50P 766.00 -0.97%

tabasco

re - So Dils real name is Ivor Or could it be Ivor Dil?

or maybe you are forgotten the middle name " Morgan " >>>> Ivor Morgan Dil

Somethig to do with the heavy Right Issue and well discounted price I suspect ..........


RBS cuts Lloyds target to 100p from 150p, stays at buy

the last couple days bounce is close to the opening price after X - R I

Decision deadline for Lloyds shareholders -- Date: Thursday 10 Dec 2009

LONDON (ShareCast) - Lloyds Banking Group shareholders need to be quick if they want to take up their rights as part of the banks 13.5bn cash call. Its D-Day on Friday and the new shares will begin trading at the start of next week.

Hopes of a good take-up from the 2.8 million private investors are high in some quarters, encouraged by this weeks heavily oversubscribed $986m US bond exchange. Holders wanted to swap $2.7bn of existing securities for new enhanced capital notes (ECN), a new type of hybrid debt.

The part-nationalised lender said last month that investors had wanted to swap 12.51bn of existing debt for contingent capital when only 9bn was up for grabs.

Analysts at UBS think the shares could bounce strongly once the rump placement completes on 14 December, or possibly sooner.

They say the underlying margin and credit momentum is strong, so a moderate double-dip recession and/or more expensive debt refinancing would delay but not derail the return to a valuation based on the long-term fundamentals.

Even if this process takes five years and not the three the broker predicts the stock is still attractive, the broker thinks.

Shareholders can get 1.34 new shares for every 1 share held at 37p each. Someone with an average 740 shares will be eligible for 991 of the new ones at a cost of just under 367.

Lloyds wants the money to avoid being tied into the governments 260bn toxic asset protection scheme. The Treasury is taking up its rights as part of the issue, investing 5.7bn net of an underwriting fee, to keep its stake in Lloyds at 43%.

So, what to do?

Whenever a company decides to raise money via a rights issue shareholders have four choices. Each has its benefits, but the final decision will depend on what confidence an investor has in the business prospects and their own personal circumstances.

First option, and the most simple, is do nothing. Your rights have an intrinsic value, so if you cant afford to buy the new shares, dont fancy throwing good money after bad, or just cant be bothered, youll eventually get a cheque for the difference between the offer price (37p) and the share price when the whole process has finished.

Many investors will have become accidental shareholders in Lloyds, having acquired the shares through demutualisations of the Halifax, Cheltenham & Gloucester and Leeds Permanent building societies. A lot of them wont want to pump more cash into Lloyds, or any bank, following the recent market turmoil.

If youre feeling a little more energetic, but either dont want to or cant afford to buy more shares, the second option is to sell your rights. Lloyds will sell your nil-paid rights for you, or you can go through a broker. If you owned an average 740 shares and sold your rights at the current price, 19.75p, youd get about 146.

There's a third option if you want to avoid forking out any extra cash, but still want to take up some rights. Shareholders could sell enough of their nil-paid rights to fund the purchase of whatever rights they have left, a process known as "tail swallowing". Lloyds says it will help those who like the idea.

Finally, the brave investor might decide to take up their allocation.

All eligible shareholders will have received a provisional allotment letter letting them know exactly how many shares they own and what theyll be entitled to through the rights issue.

Not made up your mind yet?

Jonathan Jackson at broker Killik Capital thinks the shares will remain volatile in the short term, with potential upward pressure from the unwinding of short positions and the prospect of UK institutions upping their holdings in the stock to achieve an index weighting.

In the medium term, however, the shares remain a pure play on UK economic growth (on which we remain cautious) and the ability of management to extract better-than-expected synergies from the HBOS acquisition, he says.

Theres also the risk that banking sector returns may be capped by the regulator.

Charles Stanley doesnt think investors should take up their rights just to avoid dilution. They must believe that additional funds invested will earn a better return than if they were invested in an alternative stock.

The broker says Lloyds has a strong franchise which, if managed properly, is likely to be a powerful force on the UK high street.

However, the next couple of years are still likely to be difficult and of course the group is unlikely to pay a dividend until at least 2011. Our Hold recommendation on the stock remains and therefore we recommend that shareholders sell sufficient nil paid rights in order to take up the balance of their entitlement.

At 11am was the last time to receive the application for the Right Issue, so being the last day
and the normal thing is any rump shares not taken up will be sold to Institutions at todays closing price on Monday.

So someone ( well most likely a few - MMs, Institutions wanting to get some of the rump ) are
allready working hard to get the price as low as posible at closing.

After opening higher with the market, now moving south

An excellent point
Hopefully,we'll be off to the races next week!