JOKE OF THE DAY

The Welshman " Dill " buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant,
and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

" Dill " doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to
display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in
grass when they are pregnant. Ivor hangs up the phone and gives it some thought.
He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep.

So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods,
has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep.

Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try
didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the
woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and
goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.

One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive
them out to the woods. Ivor spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon
returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he can not even raise himself from the bed to look
at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep
are laying in the grass. No," she says, "they're all in the truck
and one of them is honking the horn."

So Dils real name is Ivor Or could it be Ivor Dil?

LLOY top of the TOPS.........ahead of tomorrow's dealine


Market Movers - Top risers and fallers at 11:00

FTSE 100
LLOYDS GRP. ORD 10P 56.88 4.00%
ROYAL BANK SCOT ORD 25P 31.54 3.99%
ADMIRAL GRP ORD 0.1P 1126.00 3.49%
BARCLAYS ORD 25P 286.05 2.86%
MAN GROUP USD0.03428571 311.30 2.30%

RIO TINTO ORD 10P 3100.50 -1.26%
TULLOW OIL ORD 10P 1256.00 -1.26%
LONMIN ORD SHS USD1 1715.00 -1.04%
LAND SECS. ORD 10P 640.50 -1.00%
AMEC ORD 50P 766.00 -0.97%

tabasco

re - So Dils real name is Ivor Or could it be Ivor Dil?

or maybe you are forgotten the middle name " Morgan " >>>> Ivor Morgan Dil

Somethig to do with the heavy Right Issue and well discounted price I suspect ..........


RBS cuts Lloyds target to 100p from 150p, stays at buy

the last couple days bounce is close to the opening price after X - R I

Decision deadline for Lloyds shareholders -- Date: Thursday 10 Dec 2009

LONDON (ShareCast) - Lloyds Banking Group shareholders need to be quick if they want to take up their rights as part of the banks 13.5bn cash call. Its D-Day on Friday and the new shares will begin trading at the start of next week.

Hopes of a good take-up from the 2.8 million private investors are high in some quarters, encouraged by this weeks heavily oversubscribed $986m US bond exchange. Holders wanted to swap $2.7bn of existing securities for new enhanced capital notes (ECN), a new type of hybrid debt.

The part-nationalised lender said last month that investors had wanted to swap 12.51bn of existing debt for contingent capital when only 9bn was up for grabs.

Analysts at UBS think the shares could bounce strongly once the rump placement completes on 14 December, or possibly sooner.

They say the underlying margin and credit momentum is strong, so a moderate double-dip recession and/or more expensive debt refinancing would delay but not derail the return to a valuation based on the long-term fundamentals.

Even if this process takes five years and not the three the broker predicts the stock is still attractive, the broker thinks.

Shareholders can get 1.34 new shares for every 1 share held at 37p each. Someone with an average 740 shares will be eligible for 991 of the new ones at a cost of just under 367.

Lloyds wants the money to avoid being tied into the governments 260bn toxic asset protection scheme. The Treasury is taking up its rights as part of the issue, investing 5.7bn net of an underwriting fee, to keep its stake in Lloyds at 43%.

So, what to do?

Whenever a company decides to raise money via a rights issue shareholders have four choices. Each has its benefits, but the final decision will depend on what confidence an investor has in the business prospects and their own personal circumstances.

First option, and the most simple, is do nothing. Your rights have an intrinsic value, so if you cant afford to buy the new shares, dont fancy throwing good money after bad, or just cant be bothered, youll eventually get a cheque for the difference between the offer price (37p) and the share price when the whole process has finished.

Many investors will have become accidental shareholders in Lloyds, having acquired the shares through demutualisations of the Halifax, Cheltenham & Gloucester and Leeds Permanent building societies. A lot of them wont want to pump more cash into Lloyds, or any bank, following the recent market turmoil.

If youre feeling a little more energetic, but either dont want to or cant afford to buy more shares, the second option is to sell your rights. Lloyds will sell your nil-paid rights for you, or you can go through a broker. If you owned an average 740 shares and sold your rights at the current price, 19.75p, youd get about 146.

There's a third option if you want to avoid forking out any extra cash, but still want to take up some rights. Shareholders could sell enough of their nil-paid rights to fund the purchase of whatever rights they have left, a process known as "tail swallowing". Lloyds says it will help those who like the idea.

Finally, the brave investor might decide to take up their allocation.

All eligible shareholders will have received a provisional allotment letter letting them know exactly how many shares they own and what theyll be entitled to through the rights issue.

Not made up your mind yet?

Jonathan Jackson at broker Killik Capital thinks the shares will remain volatile in the short term, with potential upward pressure from the unwinding of short positions and the prospect of UK institutions upping their holdings in the stock to achieve an index weighting.

In the medium term, however, the shares remain a pure play on UK economic growth (on which we remain cautious) and the ability of management to extract better-than-expected synergies from the HBOS acquisition, he says.

Theres also the risk that banking sector returns may be capped by the regulator.

Charles Stanley doesnt think investors should take up their rights just to avoid dilution. They must believe that additional funds invested will earn a better return than if they were invested in an alternative stock.

The broker says Lloyds has a strong franchise which, if managed properly, is likely to be a powerful force on the UK high street.

However, the next couple of years are still likely to be difficult and of course the group is unlikely to pay a dividend until at least 2011. Our Hold recommendation on the stock remains and therefore we recommend that shareholders sell sufficient nil paid rights in order to take up the balance of their entitlement.

At 11am was the last time to receive the application for the Right Issue, so being the last day
and the normal thing is any rump shares not taken up will be sold to Institutions at todays closing price on Monday.

So someone ( well most likely a few - MMs, Institutions wanting to get some of the rump ) are
allready working hard to get the price as low as posible at closing.

After opening higher with the market, now moving south

An excellent point
Hopefully,we'll be off to the races next week!

The rump will be dealt with by a form of placing and the price will be decided only when this takes place on monday/tuesday. It has no connection with the closing price.

Bough a few just before the close for the short term bounce @ 56.22p only T+10 but wanting premium

pseudonym

re - It has no connection with the closing price.

Lets see the price it closes and the price of Monday rump and then you can say more.

Just to let you know the last time the share close at 60p and next day the rump was sold to INSTITUTIONS at 60p.

I will rest my case on this matter for the moment being.

UT at 56.22p
closing spread price 56.30 / 56.39p

Does anyone think this stock will be worth 3 in a few years...or are we witnessing a slow decline into the land of sp manipulation, dilution and "placing" to reward City-types....?

- Er, I wonder.

I agree with master RSI........check this out....

Lloyds' shareholders turn a quick profit
Philip Scott, This is Money
12 December 2009
Reader comments (2) | Chat
The record breaking Lloyds rights issue closed yesterday with the average shareholder making an instant paper profit of some 190 on their stake.




Rights issue: Did you take yours?

OTHER STORIESHopes on emerging markets in 2010
Analysis: Is it time to sell gold?
Hopes on emerging markets in 2010
Pre-Budget: Gilts issue is record
Cru investors get set to count their losses
A CHEAP WAY TO BUY ISAS Our fund supermarket slashes initial charges on Isa funds, allowing your cash to grow faster.
> Look up Isa funds
HOW TO PICK AN ISA Best accounts, best funds... Everything you need to know about picking Isas: Picking the best Isa
12.50 SHARE DEALING Buy and sell shares online or by phone for 12.50 (20 for certificates)
FUND ADVICERead our top
fund information Please select... Funds for novices Funds for experts Funds for income Fundwatch Fund performance

Those who bought shares at 37p saw them close at 56.22p on Friday - 52% higher than the offer price.
And some investors proved that doing nothing can sometimes be a good option, with the average shareholder who failed to send back forms now in line for a cheque for about 190. The bank was offering existing shareholders the opportunity to buy 1.34 shares at a price of 37p for every share they hold.

The typical private Lloyds shareholder owns 740 shares and when the market closed on Friday, the bank's share price finished the day 3% down and flat over the week.

The new shares will start being traded on the market on Monday, 14 December.

Shareholders had the option to either take up all their rights, take up some of their rights - a process dubbed tail swallowing or let them lapse.

Those choose to do the latter, will have the extra shares available to them sold and be sent a cheque in the post. They will have seen their stake in the bank heavily diluted though.

The cash payment will pay the value of the rights, which will be the difference between the rights issue price of 37p and what Lloyds can sell the shares for on the market. This is known as the nil paid rights price.

Ultimately, how much they get for the shares though will be determined by the Lloyds' share price on Monday, when the markets open, although, barring any disasters, the price should be similar to Friday's closing.

The average private Lloyds shareholder who took up their rights, based on the offer price of 37p for 1.34 shares, would have paid some 366.67 to maintain their stake by scooping up 991 shares.

The 43% taxpayer supported bank decided to go cap in hand to its shareholders so that it could dodge the Government's Asset Protection Scheme (APS), the insurance plan for banks' toxic assets.

If Lloyds had partaken in the Government's plan, it would have paid 15.6bn to insure 260bn in loans under the scheme, which would have in turn upped the taxpayer's stake to some 62%.

lol gf ... how many of those shareholders bought their original shares at 3,4,5 & 6 quid ????

Bet they are sooooo happy with their 190 "profit" on the rights issue.

Another one auguring well for Monday

Lloyds investors expected to take up more than 90% of share issue
From the FT.com -- December 12 2009

Investors in Lloyds Banking Group are expected to have subscribed to or sold the rights to more than 90 per cent of the new shares issued through the bank's 13.5bn rights issue.

The share issue was launched two weeks ago and investors had until yesterday morning to trade their rights to buy the new shares in the market.

Someone close to the bank estimated that about 12.5bn of the 13.5bn of the new shares would be taken up, leaving a "rump" of about 1bn. The final overhang will not be known until the bank's registrars have conducted a formal count of the take up of the new shares this weekend.

In Lloyds' fundraising in June this year, some 13 per cent of the issue was not taken up by investors.

The registrar will announce the number of remaining shares on Monday. These will then be placed in the market by the underwriters on the rights issue, led by UBS and Bank of America Merrill Lynch.

The bank had expected strong demand for its rights issue, the largest fundraising yet to be launched. The rights to buy the new shares - or "nil-paid rights" - were trading at about 20p before the 11am deadline yesterday morning, compared with their issue price of 37p.

The rights issue is part of Lloyds' plan to raise 22.5bn to strengthen its balance sheet and allow it to escape the government's asset protection scheme. More than 99 per cent of the bank's shareholders voted in favour of the fundraising at the end of last month. The bank is also raising 9bn through a debt swap.

Investors were offered 1.34 new shares for each existing one they own at a price of 37p a share. This worked out at a 39 per cent discount to the so-called theoretical ex-rights price, which takes into account the dilutive effect of the issue on the bank's overall market capitalisation.

Shareholders who have not taken up their rights will have their entitlements sold by the bank on their behalf. Lloyds' shares fell 3.4 per cent, or 2p, to 56.2p yesterday

goldfinger

Do not take any notice of the " SHEEP SHAGGER " everything is wrong on his live something like "LEPROSY" also being attached to this thread.

How fools can believe its own Sh!t is not my cup of tea, shares are for trading and that is the way one makes money.

Sell when the economy growth negative

Buy, once the economy is recovering and double the buy when moving forward with growth

From Mail online

Lloyds rights issue sees more than 90% take-up - 12th December 2009

Lloyds Banking Group will tomorrow (Monday) claim success for its 13.5 billion cash call, with figures expected to show that more than 90 per cent of shares have been taken up.

That scale of buying from existing shareholders would compare well with the bank's cash-raising earlier this year, in which 13 per cent of the shares were left unsold and had to be placed on the market in a rump sell-off.

Bankers are confident that any rump of shares after this rights issue will be placed by the end of trading tomorrow.

Shares in Lloyds closed last week at 56p. Once adjusted for the effect of the new shares in issue and cash raised, this price is almost unchanged on their level immediately before the rights issue was announced.

The Government, which owns 43 per cent of Lloyds after last year's banking bailouts, has taken up its rights to new Lloyds shares in full and most City institutions are expected to have followed suit. But many small investors, burnt by the crash in value of shares in Lloyds and its HBOS subsidiary over the past two years, are thought to have ignored the rights offer or taken up only part of their entitlement.

Analysts have welcomed the apparent success of the cash call. Ian Gordon, banking analyst at broker Exane BNP, said: 'The pain and suffering of Lloyds shareholders could soon be over.'

A strong take-up will be particularly welcome for chief executive Eric Daniels, who has faced criticism for his decision to buy HBOS late last year, a move that has lumbered the group with billions of pounds of losses.

The issue, which closed at 11am on Friday, aimed to raise 13.5 billion by issuing about 36 billion new shares at 37p a share.

It was announced last month alongside an offer to exchange some debts for a new type of investment called contingent capital, or 'CoCos', which will convert to shares if the bank hits a fresh financial crisis. The extra capital has enabled Lloyds to remain outside the Government's insurance scheme for toxic assets, known as the Asset Protection Scheme.

Had Lloyds been forced to join this it would have had to issue the Government with extra shares, giving the Treasury majority ownership. As it is, the Treasury stake will remain at 43 per cent.

Royal Bank of Scotland, which is putting hundreds of billions of assets into the APS, will end up 84 per cent State-owned as a result.

STRONG SUPPORT FOR THE RIGHTS ISSUE



TIDMLLOY

RNS Number : 0435E
Lloyds Banking Group PLC
14 December 2009



121/09
14 December 2009
NOT FOR RELEASE, PUBLICATION OR DISTRIBUTION, IN WHOLE OR IN PART, DIRECTLY OR
INDIRECTLY, IN OR INTO OR FROM THE UNITED STATES, HONG KONG, ISRAEL, JAPAN,
THAILAND OR ANY JURISDICTION WHERE TO DO SO WOULD CONSTITUTE A VIOLATION OF THE
RELEVANT LAWS OF SUCH JURISDICTION.
LLOYDS BANKING GROUP PLC ANNOUNCES STRONG SUPPORT FOR THE RIGHTS ISSUE
Unless otherwise defined in this announcement, capitalised definitions shall
have the same meaning as in the rights issue prospectus (the "Prospectus")
published on 3 November 2009 by Lloyds Banking Group plc (the "Company" or
"Lloyds Banking Group") in connection with the Rights Issue.
Following the closing of the Rights Issue offer period on 11 December 2009,
Lloyds Banking Group announces that it has received valid acceptances in respect
of 34,794,322,592 New Shares representing approximately 95.314 per cent. of the
total number of New Shares to be issued pursuant to the Rights Issue announced
by the Company on 3 November 2009.
Commenting on the results of the Rights Issue, Eric Daniels, Group Chief
Executive, said:
"I would like to thank our shareholders for their considerable support for our
capital raising programme. Our focus remains on delivering on our plans to
become the UK's leading financial services company, which we believe will result
in significant benefits for all our shareholders."
It is expected that the New Shares in uncertificated form will be credited to
CREST accounts on 14 December 2009 and that definitive share certificates will
be dispatched to shareholders by no later than 29 December 2009.
It is expected that the New Shares will commence trading fully paid on London
Stock Exchange plc's main market for listed securities on 14 December 2009.
As disclosed in the Prospectus, BofA Merrill Lynch, UBS Limited and Citigroup
Global Markets U.K. Equity Limited, acting as joint global co-ordinators, will
use reasonable endeavours to procure subscribers for the balance of New Shares
for which valid acceptances were not received. A further announcement as to the
number of New Shares for which subscribers have been procured will be made in
due course.




- END -

Lloyds Banking Group Gets 95.314% Rights Issue Takeup

LONDON -(Dow Jones)- Lloyds Banking Group PLC (LLOY.LN), said Monday that it has received valid acceptances in respect of 34,794,322,592 new shares representing 95.314% of the total number of new shares to be issued pursuant to the rights issue announced by the company on Nov. 3.

MAIN FACTS:

-It is expected that the new shares will commence trading fully paid on London Stock Exchange main market for listed securities on Dec. 14.