JOKE OF THE DAY

Sheep shagging carry on

A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging.
First of all he visits a Cornish farmer.

"So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"
"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them
down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the
sheep and put them over a wall."

"That's very interesting," replies the researcher and he
leaves the Cornish farmer. Then he meets a Midlands Farmer.

"So, Midlands farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"
"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them
down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the
sheep and put them over a wall."

"That's very interesting," replies the researcher.
"That's how they do it in Cornwall too."
And he leaves the Midlands farmer.
Then he meets a farmer from Abergaveny.

"So, Abergaveny farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"
"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them
down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the
sheep and put them over my shoulders."

"Over your shoulders?" replies the researcher.
"Don't you put them over a wall like everyone else?"

"What?" says the farmer. "And miss out on all the kissing?!"

Ten shares tipped to take off in 2010

Here are 10 winning shares for the year ahead, as chosen by our writers
Published: 1:33PM GMT 04 Jan 2010

LLOYDS BANKING GROUP 50.69p

year was another utterly miserable time for shares in Lloyds Banking Group, which has plunged nearly 60pc over the past 12 months. However, it now looks oversold.

The market has treated both Lloyds and its partner in misery, Royal Bank of Scotland, as two millstones around the neck of the FTSE. For the past 18 months that's been the correct call but not anymore.

Lloyds and RBS or more particularly their poisonous acquisitions, HBOS and ABN Amro respectively have terrified investors with the constant threat of more toxic discharges. This fear of the unknown no longer applies to Lloyds.

Against the odds, the bank has pulled off a 13.5bn rights issue. The record-breaking issue attracted 92pc non-governmental support. But if investor confidence won't sway the market, the implied Government and regulatory conviction should.

There is no way the Treasury nor the Financial Services Authority would allow Lloyds to escape the asset protection scheme and launch a rights issue if there was even a remote chance it could unleash more bile into the market or if the regulatory labyrinth could rock the bank again. The hard analysis has been done: Lloyds must be the most vetted bank in the world, and for that reason it's a buy.

LAST YEAR I warned that Barclays was a risk, but one that was worth taking. The high street bank had come through the autumn carnage, bruised and battered but still independent. My bet was that banking institutions are vital and the strongest of a weak bunch would lead the recovery. This seemed over-optimistic as Barclays plunged to just 51p within weeks. But at this level the market knew it had over-reacted and Barclays soared up to 390p in September. The shares have come off again to 276p but are still up 76pc.

Ten shares tipped to take off in 2010

Lloyds out performing ftse on the 5 day, and even slightly out doing Barclays:

By WSJ Staff
Deutsche Bank still sees Barclays and Lloyds Banking Group as attractive credit-risk recovery plays and has them as top picks for 10 along with Credit Suisse and Santander.

Deutsche analysts say that during 09, recovery was the driving theme of the outperformance in the European banks sector but only a small number of banks, including Lloyds and Barclays, are still capable of boosting profits on this theme.

Deutsche thinks Royal Bank of Scotland also looks attractive on normalized earnings but sees it at risk from the new Basel rules and government intervention. Therefore Deutsche excludes RBS from its top picks. Deutsche Rates all the shares at buy.

The global economic rebound is likely to be even stronger than many have anticipated and developed markets have the potential to outperform emerging markets, Jim O'Neill, head of global economic research at Goldman Sachs, told CNBC Tuesday.

"I think what we've seen since the turn of the year is actually really strong," O'Neill told "Worldwide Exchange."

South Korea's economic data is "on fire," and so is China's purchasing managers index, O'Neill said.

Goldman Sachs analysts estimate that the world economic growth will be 4.4 percent this year and 4.5 percent in 2011.

Above 55p - still going north, and against the market trend ! Further house price growth continues into Dec. Good news for the UK's largest mortgage provider.

SMARTY - No brainer - the only way is up - this must be the most scritinised bank in the world no more bad debt surprises safe as houses!!!!!!1

And just how safe are houses? :-))))

Also Lloyds being one of the 2010 Olympic games in L=ondon, how can the PR men let this one fail !

56p+ now.

         LUNCH TIME JOKE

         The future of Air travel

If it closes above 56.50p then I have a picture for the future moves ( maybe is only cristal ball )

Not far away now has tuched that price once today

US chart

http://stockcharts.com/h-sc/ui

http://stockcharts.com/symsearch/index.html?LLOY

Off Piste>

Masterif I say pretty pleasecould you paste up page 10 of http://www.sharesmagazine.co.uk/ on the BLNX threadthank you my Palestinian friend

tabasco

RE -OFF PISTE

I do try to be nice to people but I will not be able to satify you with the
pick as I am not a subscribe of Shares Mag. so I can not get into page no. 10

re - thank you my Palestinian friend

For the record ........ I am not Palestinian neither I tell lies like some
of your friends in this thread

57p+

Masterthanks for trying to be niceI thought you were subscribed to everythingLoaded.NutsFHMthey all have interesting charts

tabasco

Have you been on the bottle again?

re - Loaded.NutsFHM

Are you one of the Nuts?

I have not managed to open that Thick head of yours yet ...........

That was a bit bitchy MasterI thought we were mates?

.....but I am getting close with just the reading


re - Im snowed in with a glass of warm

.... yes you did pour too much of the Spanish Brandy
into the Hot Toddy