Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

We stopped Hitler are we going to let Eu beat us?

What's the nonsense belief that because a nation or several might leave the euro that austerity mesures are going to stop ?, they are in place to prevent a country sliding further into complete chaos,.....it's not much fun but when you have a situation like where most of the greeks have been paying precious little taxes and most of them seem to be bureaucrats with hardly any industry and big demands for the same lifesyle as France and Germany or Holland : this is what you end up with.....none of the med countries should have been allowed to join the euro in the first place.....perhaps Britain along with Sweden, Denmark and possibly Norway could introduce a northern rival to the euro !....(I doubt it would happen though)...just a thought...if some exit the euro : austerity will remain....

.

Lets wheel this one out again -

Read Aloud For Best Effect!!!

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

The fact remains also that politicians do not like bringing bad news as people have short memories and won't vote for them : look at Britain : labour muck it up, get thrown out,...new lot come along...try and sort out the mess.....people don't like the potion as if you offer them fifty quid in their pocket and a quickfix that's what they'll go for rather than a longterm solution with many benefits down the road but it takes a few years...

.

Hi RF,

Fully agree that austerity measures are required and that is the only way to get out of the huge amount of debt we and most of the world are in.
We can't spend our way out, but there are very simple things we can do.
For a start the government should start acting instead of being all talk.

1 Cut business red tape (they haven't even started yet, according to business groups).
2 Stop all immigration unless that immigrant can prove he/she can contribute to more than he/she would take out.
3 Rule ourselves (put ourselves first), instead of allowing the EU to rule us (putting themselves first).
4 Withdraw from the Human right Act (whats human about letting the scum of the earth stay in our country to the detriment of us all) and have a British Constitution.
5 Consider any minority group, but only change things if it benefits that minority but not at the detriment to the majority.

There must be many more things that are 'no brainers' and that can save billions of pounds.

Problem is todays politicians are too scared to implement right wing stratergys but let us go on and on in the -hit.

Dont know what the answer is.

Perhaphs a third world war!. (hope not)

I agree with you Greekman, although that's similar to the views of the left wing in Greece.

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a
vacuum cleaner. Strewth, talk about Dyson with death.


Paddy says: "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador ." "Sod that"
says Mick: "have you seen how many of their owners go blind"


I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. they said they regretted to
inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.


My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
girlfriend yet.


I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at
the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid....... then I was petrified.


A wife says to her husband: "You’re always pushing me around and
talking behind my back".
He says: "What do you expect? You’re in a wheelchair".


Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering
years after it's been eaten. It's called wedding cake.


I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said: "I love you".
She said; "Is that you or the beer talking?"
I replied: "It's me talking to the beer".


The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I've been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.


They've opened a new shop across the road selling camouflage clothing
but I have my suspicions something weird is going on. Yesterday I saw
20 people go in but I never saw anyone coming out.


I've been on the phone for ages trying to book tickets for an Elvis
tribute act, but it keeps asking me to press 1 for the money, 2 for
the show......


I just brought a friend of mine a new fridge, should have seen his
face light up when he opened it


A friend of mine moved into a new house at the weekend so I took him
over a couple of radiators. Just a little house warming present.


I've just heard the window cleaner shouting and swearing outside my
house. I think he's lost his rag.


I went to my allotment last week and found someone had covered it with
2 inches of soil. I went again yesterday only to find it covered
again with another 2 inches of soil. The plot thickens!!!


A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....


I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I
was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a
coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it... I
thought to myself, these idiots have lost the plot!!


A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was
refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for
the channel said.....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not
understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi
Do.'


My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went
to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! B*ll*cks to this, I
thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.


Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy..


I start a new job in Seoul next week... I thought it was a good Korea move.


I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver
was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to
myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'.

Conjunctivitis.com There’s a site for sore eyes.

.

Aldwickk Goldfinger

I think some are - my favourite of his was something along the lines of :- "Crime in multi-storey car parks, now that's wrong on so many levels".

Blimmey Skinny,

Where did you find that lot.

Greek - I can't say, I was talking to my myself :-)

.

LOL

Paul Mason ‏ @paulmasonnews

RT @James_Macintyre: Senior Tory MP tells me reshuffle imminent, poss this weekend

Who gets what?.