Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

With head and one leg uncontrollably twitching.

oh dear! alan's not got "elvis leg" syndrome, has he?

No , but he has got Presley Pelvis!!! (FNAR, FNAR).

Cant you tell that the markets are slow today !! - Morning Guys

baza

Morning Baza,
Go short on Crosby. Theres a whisper Stills and Nash are going to tour without him.
Alan

Right that's 3 000000 short on Crosby ,Cheers alan ,what with my Nigerian investments and your tips i feel this is going to be a great end to the year.

what are you chaps gibbing Crosby for???? i will glady take the other side!

this thread is the most enjoyable at the moment...the pictures are a bonus and the chatter is an mundane as it is amusing! alan for thread president...any seconds for that motion?

Not President.
Generalissimo Father of the People and Glorious survivor and architect of the glorious peoples revolution of Purple Thursday (theres been enough Black days).
El Presidente of the Glorious Democratic republic of NOWT.
Our economy will be crap, but our womens shot put team will be world beaters. Already got a sponsorship deal for them with Gillette.
Alan

seconded. al for presleydent.

not so much cameltoe, more like camelhoofs.

That guts wearing his arse at the front!!!!!

Often wondered where Presley kept his burgers during performances.

well now we know where he kept his buns. but where did he keep his slices of beef? doesn't bear thinking about.......

That a knife in his hand then? Think he swallowed 'em.

morning chocolat. i didn't think you did daytimes.

I'm bored - so here is one to bring a smile.

keA bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "sorry do you know me?"

She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children"

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, Christ! he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my a*se?"


"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher"

Baza

Oh they let me out in the day sometimes bos

Thanks Baza (aka Jim Daividson)

lol

Nam

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.

The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."