Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

God went to the Arabs and said,
'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives
better.'

The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'
And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'

'Can you give us an example?'

'Thou shall not kill.'

'Not kill? We're not interested..'

So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
'Honor thy Father and Mother.'

'Father? We don't know who our fathers are.
We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Mexicans and said,
'I have Commandments.'

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou
shall not steal.'

'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said,
'I have Commandments.'

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou
shall not commit adultery.'

'Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, He went to the Jews and said,
'I have Commandments..'

'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'

'They're free.'

'We'll take 10.

Could George Osborne have the last laugh?
Despite the boos, gaffs and incessant criticism from economists, rivals, the media and large sections of the public, are things finally going the chancellor’s way?


....It has been a dismal few months for George Osborne, first the economy slips into a double dip recession for the first time since the 1980s, then he gets booed when presenting a medal at the Paralympics. And the blows keep coming; he was recently blasted for trying to sit in the first class carriage of a train when only paying for economy ticket.

If he’s not getting blamed for economic mismanagement then he is being made the butt of jokes because of his privileged upbringing.

But could George actually have the last laugh? Later this week the first estimate of GDP for the third quarter is expected to show a robust return to growth with economists forecasting a whopping 0.6% increase on the second quarter.

This would drag us out of recession and be far better than our neighbours’ growth rates in Europe and the US.

So what did he get right?

But why the sharp jump in growth and can Osborne take all of the credit? The Jubilee Bank holiday in June is blamed for the recent loss of growth in the economy as people took time off work and either stayed at home or went abroad.

The Office for National Statistics admitted that it is difficult to quantify the impact on growth from scheduled bank holidays, but it has estimated it could have had a negative effect to the tune of 0.4%. Thus, when you strip out the catch-up effect from the Jubilee holiday then growth in the third quarter may be a less impressive 0.2% to 0.3%.



[Related link: What do our holidays cost us?]


However, there have been pockets of strength in recent months. The most outstanding was in retail sales in September. We hit the shops with a vengeance last month, managing to spend £6.6 billion a week, which is higher than the £6.5 billion we spent each week in September 2011.

Are consumers more confident in Osborne’s ability to manage the UK economy and is that why they are hitting the shops? Apparently not. The ONS put the jump in sales down to colder weather than normal last month, which sent people scurrying to buy winter clothes early, and a bounce in online sales making up for the dip in August as people watched the Olympics instead of shopping online.

Plenty of work

Sadly for Osborne he has seen his popularity deteriorate even though the UK has been producing jobs at one of its fastest-ever paces. The economy has been producing more than 200,000 jobs every three months this year, which is a stunning pace and contrasts sharply with the US where job growth remains sluggish and the eurozone where unemployment in countries like Spain and Greece is more than one in four.

But unfortunately for Osborne, job creation has not fuelled a feel good effect in the wider economy. Economists are baffled at how the UK can continue to create jobs although the economy has gone into reverse. This has led some people to believe that job losses are waiting in the wings, so those people in employment are still cautious and concerned they may lose them in the future.

Cuts paying off

Osborne’s chief focus since the coalition came to power has been to drastically cut the UK’s debt levels and eradicate the budget deficit. But the deficit has not been coming down, remaining stubornly high and leading the oppostion – among others – to declare “Plan A isn’t working”.

While Osborne has been blamed for focusing too much on debt reduction and not enough on growth, he managed to score a rare goal last week when the UK’s public finances for September followed the tone set by the better economic data eslewhere. The UK budget deficit was revised lower by £7 billion last month, which helps to take the pressure off the chancellor as he builds up to his Autumn Budget statement in December. Maybe Plan A has a chance after all.

But even this data is not all good news for Osborne. The reduction in the deficit was mostly down to luck rather than adept management of the economy on Osborne’s part.

The ONS owned up to a mistake in the public finances for August that caused our borrowing needs to be overstated. It also blamed the mistake on methodological changes, with only £3.4 billion coming from revised budgets from Government departments.

Added to this the Government is still borrowing more than it had previously planned to, which jeopardises its debt-to-GDP target.

Broken rules

So, even with the good news on the deficit, Osborne may still have to “break” his fiscal rules during his pre-Budget report in December as weak growth in the coming years increases the pressure on the public purse as tax revenues are projected to decline.

Osborne needs to ensure he has a thick skin if he does break his own fiscal rules as he will be an easy target for both criticism and ridicule from the opposition and the media. But the real nail in the coffin for Osborne’s credibility will be if the UK loses its triple A credit rating.

So far we have held on to our triple-A credit rating when other countries – including the US and France – have lost theirs. Osborne even promised to maintain it at the risk of the UK’s economic growth.

If we lose our coveted credit rating then Osborne’s tenure at Number 11 Downing Street would start to look very tenuous indeed. But if he we keep it, Osborne may well have the last laugh.

Dreams.

That flag looks very fragile and is collapsing like the present government.

Wait for the economic and "true" employment figures for the last quarter (Q4) of this year.

==========

I think we should send Badger to remove Toad from No 10.

fred the pack of con cards are falling like shit from there backsides
as I have said when right wing torys like me .
look at them with distain that about sums them up .
CLEGG IS GOING TO LOSE THE LIB LEADERSHIP VERY SOON
cameron is going to be kicked out osborne well he is dead .

Sir Norman Bettison resigns from West Yorkshire Police

West Yorkshire Police chief constable Sir Norman Bettison has resigned from the force.

The resignation comes as his role in the aftermath of the 1989 Hillsborough disaster is being investigated.

At the time of the tragedy, Sir Norman was a South Yorkshire Police inspector who attended the match as a spectator and later took part in an internal inquiry.

Superman: Clark Kent quits reporting at the Daily Planet

Superman is giving up his once-promising career in journalism.

Alter ego Clark Kent is resigning from the post of star reporter at the Daily Planet, the Metropolis newspaper where he has worked since the first Superman comics were published in the 1940s.

"http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-20067716".. Gone but not forgotten

Keep up Stan (post 18,779)

The clues in the " " Skinny.. Your late in more ways then one today I see -):

I hear that Fred is behind the takeover of the Daily Planet and is writing all the editorials causing the circulation to plumet.

.

It is a small plum.

.

Probably, Mirabelle.

A good EU variety, but sometimes leaden.

.

,,,

I see those sub humans from GAZA sending rockets in to israel again .
the people of gaza are lazy good for nothings BEGGGARS and murderers .
run by a terrorist mob. do not ever give a penny to these lazy murderers.
they even put there children on the borders and stand behind them with guns.

and yes i have seen this for fact with my eyes

First cases of deadly Chalara ash tree disease confirmed in Norfolk

Officers from the Forestry Commission’s plant health team have been investigating suspected cases of Chalara dieback of ash, a serious fungal infection which has caused widespread damage to forests across Europe.

The disease was unknown in Britain until early in 2012, but has been found in recent plantings of young trees supplied from infected nurseries on the continent – including at sites in Suffolk.