Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Jimmy,
The wife has pointed out that last time she looked, you were second in the investors league, and now she can't find you in the top 250.
I told her that there was no way things could go that wrong for you and that you must have resigned from the game to give the rest of us a chance.
That's right, isn't it Jimmy?
Alan

beautiful pics, chocolat. something is missing, though. ........ ah! that's it. would you like my cream on your cherries?

What are you recommending boz, preperation H???? Anusol?????

Seeing that this a boring day i thought this would make a few of you laugh.Sorry if this has alrady been posted

Ronnie Barker Script
>
>In Memory of a very funny man
>
>This was originally shown on on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie
>Barker
>could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes)

>Irony
>is that they received not one complaint. must have been the speed of
>delivery
>was too much for the whining herds.
>
>
>
>Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read;
>
>
>
>This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
>
>
>
>Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella

>worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling
>shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
>
>
>
>The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,
>and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible
>huckers;
>
>They had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets
>to
>go
>to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
>
>
>
>Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
>Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She
>turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with
>six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks
>
>
>The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight
>otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
>
>
>
>At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
>suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said
>Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping
>her slass glipper.
>
>
>
>The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door
>and
>the
>sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and
let
>off
>a fig bart.
>"Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that
>fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown
cloud
>had
>lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without
>success
>and their feet stucking funk.
>
>
>Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
>knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge
>halls and a hig bard on.
>
>He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
>ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The
>pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived

>hers with a follen
>swanny.
>
>
>
>
>

treikiman, absolutely brilliant.
alan, anusol is for grapes. i was thinking of something of a more milky constitution to drip onto chocolat's cherries.

Bailey's?

Nam

Actually, that was bucking frilliant, theikie - tranks.

No way, nam +o(

So what did you come up with, bos?

Alan ,
i'm afraid H is right ,i was going well trading in and out ,trying to do what kayak did last time ,,, this afternoon i had to do something and took my eye of the ball ,then WHAM i'm not even in the top 250 ,,all in 2 hours i'm gutted ,however i think i may make a comeback. I still belieeeeeeeeeve !!!...

fancy a drink?

Yeh why not.

what would you like?

Well I've just got home...just raiding the fridge.

is that the kind of thing you are looking for?

wow! look at the creamy head on that!!

Nah - I won't tell you now about me and black olives (or are they prunes?)

But I do like the head on that - beats the hell out of Robinson's.

lol!
go on .... what's the deal with black olives?

Pretty boring really - along the lines of juicy fat red caterpillars.
Those insect zappers zotzed one too many black beetles just as the garnish went onto some swordfish I tucked into in Portugal a while back - trouble is, the bugger landed on his face, so I didn't spot him until his legs came off.