Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

H-you have my deepest sympathy!!

Yes - sorry chaps - just made the top 20 - albeit temporarily - thought I would bask in my moment of glory

Back to talking about disgusting women

Baza

Thank you ,moneyplus. I need it. He doesn't get any easier with age either. No Bosley thats not how he met me!!
H

alan, sounds like fun. we did something similar , but they were called viking nights. i once won by going home with a muriel gray (on a really, really bad day) look-a-like. in later years they became "nike" nights........ just do it!!!! all very macho , but good fun. women are just as bad, though. my girlfriend told me that she and her friends used to play snog-a-dog, which i wasn't happy about!!
H, how did you and alan meet , then? i'm in the mood for a nice story, just made a fire and got my feet up. i need cheering up as i've dropped to 575. well done baza, though.

Before I go into that, have a look at this from another thread.
http://www.endofworld.net/
You will love it!!
Alan

Please don't laugh. We met on Leeds outdoor market, where she was a sweet 16 year old flogging bags of nuts and raisins, liberally mixed with rat droppings as a Saturday job. I was resplendant in my Post office uniform, after a Saturday shift at work, (Picture Richard Gere in that navy uniform - thats it).
I was hungry and begging for broken biscuits, and she kept smiling sweetly in my direction and telling me to piss off.
I was overtaken by a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was either love or indigestion, I've never been good at telling them apart.
Anyway, she launched a damaged chocolate-covered Hobnob at me, and I considered this a plus, as I ate it. After all, at my tender age, it was my first experience of a woman not actually trying very hard to get away from me, and it sorted out my hunger problem.
That evening we went to the pictures and for a macdonalds (it was all she could afford, with still being at school). We discovered we had a shared taste in perversions and 20 years, 3 kids, 3 dogs, 4 cats, 2 hamsters, numerous fish, 2 gerbils, 2 snakes, 1 parrot, 2 budgies and a horse later, here we are.
All certifiably true and enough to bring a tear to a glass eye. Look around you, not a dry leg in the house.
Alan

Baza,
I'm jealous. I was so happy to finish the day at number 250, till I read your post.
En Guarde. Tomorrow we do battle at 8am!!
Alan

Blimey Alan - I always knew hobnobs had a purpose other than going soggy in the packet.

Your turn now bos

what a lovely story, alan. just wiping away the tears. chocolat, my turn?

choc

found this for you , chocolat. make sure you turn it up nice and loud!!

It happened something like that, but he wanted my sister really, but she told him swivel. so my sister forced me on a date with him instead.and yes he has been a cheap skate ever since (mc Donalds) Oh and when he said to imagine Richard Gere in his uniform, he reminded me more of Mr Barroclough in Porridge.
H

alan, how old were you when you went prowling the markets chatting up 16 year old girls?

Now, now Boz,
I resemble that comment. (or should that read resent?)
I was the grand old age of 19. Actually, in my head, I still am 19, and always will be. I don't want to ever grow up.
At that age your still about 6 years short of working out what a shithole the world really is!!
Still waiting for your romantic reminisences, Boz.
Failing that you could just give us the wording you used in the advert that made your missus want to reply. ;-)
Alan

NEWSFLASH
George Best has just woken up in hospital. Doctors have already given him the bad news (he only has 1 hour left to live) and the good news (It's Happy Hour, doubles for the price of singles).
Alan

ok, ok, ok. i met my girlfriend in a club in bolton. she was chatting to her friend and i was trying to think of a good way to get her attention ........ then i saw an empty beer bottle on the floor near her. i took a run up and kicked it between her legs, raised my arms and shouted..."gollllaaaaazzzzzzzzooooooooooo!" i then stood there smiling , feeling proud. that was the first time she gave me that look. it still scares me when she gives me that look , only now it's hormonally charged as well!!!

Oh it was nice and loud alright - thanks bos

chocolat, glad you like.

Just home from the Roadhouse.
That was nice and loud too.

Wheeeeeeeee - there we go - having savoured the delights of the top 20 - albeit very briefly - big slide down to 136 this morning.

Now thats more like it

Morning All

Baza

A friend (yes I have one), told me last night that women are like a pack of cards.
You need a heart to love one, a diamond to marry one, a club to beat them to death and a spade to bury the buggers under the patio.
I've met his wife and I can understand his sentiments.
Alan