Golddog
- 23 Jan 2003 13:39
chocolat
- 17 Dec 2004 13:08
- 21106 of 23498
The Gospel according to Chav by David Thomas
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (Wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend called Joe,
innit? He's does joinery an' that. Mary lives wiv 'im in a crib dahn
Nazaref
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like: "Oo you lookin' at?"
Gabriel just goes: "You got one up the duff, you 'ave"
Mary's totally gobsmacked. She give it to 'im large. "Stop dissing me,
yeah?
I ain't no Kappa-slappa. I never bin wiv no one!"
So Mary goes and sees her cousin, Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an'
that.
She's like: "Orright Mary, I can proper feel me bay-bee in me tummy and
I reckon I'm well blessed. What with the extra benefits an' that."
Mary goes: "Yeah, I spose you're right."
Anyway, there's the census, y'naaa? Mary an' Joe ain't got no money
so they have to twock a donkey, an' go dahn Beflehem on that.
They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee
an' that.
But there ain't no room in the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
enter into this garridge, only its filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an'
that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their 'eads. They're like "Respect, bay-bee Jesus", an' say they're wise
men from the East End.
Joe goes: "if you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein and
Myrhh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidad an' Burberry?"
It's all abaht to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got
another message from this Lord geezer. He's like: "The police is coming
an' they're killing all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt."
Joe goes: "You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a
minging donkey."
Gabriel sez: "Suit yerself, pal. But it's yours look-aht if you stay."
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killing the first born an'
its safe an' that.
Then Mary an' Joe an' Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water
into lager.
Amen..... wotever..!
jeffmack
- 17 Dec 2004 13:43
- 21107 of 23498
holy copy and paste robin
stockbunny
- 17 Dec 2004 14:05
- 21108 of 23498
MM - Chips, I think we can manage that for you.
T-I-M you only have to ask and we will get you lunch, assuming
you are not asking for an item we do not serve of course!
;>)
stockbunny
- 17 Dec 2004 14:38
- 21109 of 23498
More tea I think - its' all looking far more RED...
:>(
optomistic
- 17 Dec 2004 14:55
- 21110 of 23498
Yes please I'll have a cup Bunny, getting tired of waiting for the pre Christmas, end of year boom to arrive, so will resort to drinking tea and eating any available goodies.
stockbunny
- 17 Dec 2004 15:06
- 21111 of 23498
Available goodies arriving now Opto:
Latest mince pies for appraisal,
A batch of cheese straws that need testing,
and some prawn, chicken and mushroom vol-a-vents again for testing,
honey and whisky glazed ham again for testing..
so if you're happy to play guinea-pig, you're in luck!
(the run up to Xmas is always good for the inhouse testing dept!)
optomistic
- 17 Dec 2004 15:29
- 21112 of 23498
That's a good start there Buns :-)
stockbunny
- 17 Dec 2004 15:35
- 21113 of 23498
I'd reserve judgement if I were you until you've done some
taste testing Opto! LOL
optomistic
- 17 Dec 2004 15:39
- 21114 of 23498
Should I play safe and test one product at a time?
This_is_me
- 17 Dec 2004 15:47
- 21115 of 23498
The mince pies are terrific, but we need custard and extra thick double cream.
I am fed up with all the red drinks - something blue please. Maybe the colour will rub off on my portfolio!
Blue bulbs on the Fairy lights please.
stockbunny
- 17 Dec 2004 15:49
- 21116 of 23498
Blue bulbs coming up and I can always pop a squirt of blue
food colouring into your glass T-I-M - there you go! A pretty
shade of bluebell!!! :>)
Now then Opto - be brave LOL!
jj50
- 17 Dec 2004 16:33
- 21117 of 23498
Nothing like comfort food eating on a bad day so shall enjoy testing one of those mince pies with a nice cup of tea..... plenty of tea in pot for those that want or shall I pour you a Shiraz bunny ....... to match your portfolio, of course :-(
snoball
- 17 Dec 2004 16:40
- 21118 of 23498
Mince pies? Yes please!
jj50
- 17 Dec 2004 16:42
- 21119 of 23498
Cream, brandy butter or custard?
stockbunny
- 17 Dec 2004 16:43
- 21120 of 23498
Shiraz would be great - about to look at the current prices
only BLT, CTT and FCCN (shock, horror LOL) were showing blue earlier.
How's things for you JJ?
Mince pies for Snowie on their way!
optomistic
- 17 Dec 2004 16:54
- 21121 of 23498
Off to make dinner now, thanks for your constant efforts in looking after our virtual culinary needs Bunny. Have a nice weekend all.
Socrates
- 17 Dec 2004 16:57
- 21122 of 23498
Whoopee, Socco is on his hols. Break out the VC, it's celebration time.
little willie
Cheltenham has changed quite a bit. Cavendish house is still there, part of House of Fraser Group (HOF), even more up market now, posh frocks etc. The Chinkie has gone, 'talian now amongst others. The posh frock shop, Madame something or other, sold out and is new a less exclusive emporium, still frocks & handbags. The shop front is listed so they could not 'modernise' it into banality like so many other places.
stockbunny
- 17 Dec 2004 16:58
- 21123 of 23498
Ok one and all I'm off now, have a great evening and
Hello Socs! :>) Trifle in the fridge for you!
jeffmack
- 17 Dec 2004 17:06
- 21124 of 23498
Party tonight so I'm going to get poshed up in a minute