MaxK
- 11 Mar 2005 22:01
The 2005 general election is nearly upon us. Which way will you vote, and you reasons why. Here is a brief list of the potential contestants, please add your own.

More tax!

Less tax!

Dont know!

Death to all infidels!

Who gives a shit?

The great pretender.
moneyplus
- 14 Apr 2005 18:03
- 212 of 337
Liberals are very confident we all will be willing to pay MORE tax!! Local income tax sounds very much like the dreaded poll tax to me and we all know the result of that--riots in Trafalgar Square!! Tories sounding better and better to me.
brianboru
- 15 Apr 2005 00:35
- 213 of 337
It's probably going to be many years before the Conservative Party get into power again. From where I sit they look a pretty forlorn and aging bunch with any half decent potential leaders (Clarke for instance) sidelined by the Thatcherites. That's not healthy for a democracy but it seems it's the way things are. I'd imagine any young, slightly right wing politician with ambition will probably join the New Labour party if they want to get on. Sad really, I'd much prefer to return to a proper Labour / Tory choice myself.
MaxK
- 15 Apr 2005 10:35
- 214 of 337
Good ol gordon states that he will not put up income tax or vat. So what is he going to put up? Council taxes have benn rising at a far faster rate than inflation, mostly on the back of central gov cutbacks.
Whats the betting? NI perhaps??
MaxK
- 17 Apr 2005 07:56
- 215 of 337
brianboru
- 18 Apr 2005 19:42
- 216 of 337
Swan kebab: The sickening truth
Immigrant savages decimate our beloved British fauna
by Lester Haines Daily Express Political Reporter
The news that asylum seekers have been abducting her Imperial Majestyness Liz II's swans and preparing them for human consumption in some kind of depraved barbecue ritual will send an icy chill to the very heart of any right-minded Englishman.
It appears that the 10,000 per week in cash, luxury Docklands flat and free MPV each and every immigrant receives upon arrival in the UK is insufficient to satisfy their desire to strip this country of everything which is not nailed down wildfowl included.
These are the sobering facts behind the rape of our countryside:
Each week Albanian paedophiles trap more than 1,000,000 sparrows in nets, to be sold on by Russian "handlers" to Afghani refugees. Although the consumption of sparrows is strictly forbidden in Afghanistan, experts believe that these "customers" acquired a taste for them while hanging around in French bistros waiting for an opportunity to sneak through the Channel Tunnel. The sparrows are force-fed calvados and snails until plump enough to be swallowed live by cackling ragheads.
Experts predict that the much-loved badger will be extinct in this country by 2006. The cuddly black-and-white creature has been targeted because Chinese sweatshop workers believe its penis to have magical powers rendering the user immune to deportation. Furthermore, doctors fear that the Triad gangs behind the carnage may pass on deadly TB to cattle and, terrifyingly, defenceless kiddies. Farmers are reported to be "livid" at the destruction of their traditional countryside friend. EU compensation for the emotional distress could run into billions of euros.
Every year thousands of foxes die in agony after pursuit by men on horses and packs of dogs. Sickeningly, the animal is not even eaten, but is rather considered "sport". Page seven of the Daily Mail recently described this practice as "the most filthy example of inhumanity we can imagine", while pages nine and ten featured a graphic of John Bull in hunting pink astride a magnificent steed under the headline: "Is this the last bastion of Englishness against the sewage-laden tsunami of immigrant so-called 'culture'?". A good question.
And that should be an end to the matter. There is, however, another school of thought which believes that, rather than curbing foreigners' insatiable appetite for any animal they can lay their sweaty hands on regardless of how photogenic it may be they should be encouraged to rid Britain of some of its more thorny zoological headaches.
Indeed, the government has prepared a colourful recipe booklet in 281 languages, showing how troublesome species could be put to culinary use. As one government minister put it: "If we can get these Johnnys off the swan and onto the rat, we'd have an effective vermin control programme coupled to massive savings for the taxpayers."
We at The Rockall Times asked our cookery correspondent Delia Rhodes to try out some of the booklet's suggestions. She declared herself impressed, and here are a few of her favourites. Most of the ingredients are available either in the wild or from a landfill site. Some of the items may require a trip to the supermarket, and one is available only in an upmarket Italian deli in Notting Hill. If you do not live in Notting Hill, or near a supermarket, or indeed a landfill site, simply substitute Sunny D according to taste.
Rat Pie of Merrie Olde England
Ingredients:
Rats
Shortcrust pastry*
Oysters*
Stout*
Organic hand-reared shallots*
1 free-range ostrich egg*
Thigh-rubbed Iranian black pepper*
(*Optional)
Method: Take rats, oysters, chopped shallots and season well with black pepper. Marinate overnight in stout, then gently wrap in shortcrust pastry envelope. Glaze pastry with yolk of ostrich egg and bake for 90 minutes at gas mark 4. Serves an entire reception centre for three weeks.
Delia says: Young, tender rats are the best. Older examples may require extra time in the marinade. Be sure to clean the urinary tract fully to prevent contracting Weil's disease. Wash down with a cheeky Romanian Merlot. Delicious.
Squirrel Scallopine
Ingredients:
4 Grey squirrel escalopes*
Seasoned Patagonian rough-crushed wholemeal flour
2oz "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
8oz Alsace truffelized button morels, trimmed and sliced
1 tin supermarket-brand strong lager
(*Not the red variety, for God's sake)
Method: Beat the escalopes flat. Dip in flour and fry in a large griddle pan using the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!". When escalopes are brown on both sides, lower the heat and add the mushrooms. Cook for 1.3 seconds, then add the lager. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes. Serve on a bed of bee-tickled Bengali crescent rice, flavoured with Uzbekistan extra-virgin saffron heads.
Delia says: Terrific. Enjoy the subtle chicken-like flavour and texture of the squirrel, while complimenting yourself that there is one less tree rat in the world. The tail makes a handy duster, too.
Tortilla Argentina
Ingredients:
Cardboard box
Method: Cut 12-inch diameter circles from cardboard box. Bake in clay oven for ten minutes. Serve. A great fun snack for kids.
Delia says: Can be tough unless pre-soaked overnight in llama spittle. Good as a packed lunch for beggars, though.
Henman Surprise
Ingredients:
One second-rate British tennis player
Method: Tie tennis player to table. Slice open abdomen and extract talent with a pair of tweezers (Note: This can be notoriously difficult to find, so have patience.) Once extracted, place talent immediately on very, very small wheat cracker and eat. Throw remains of tennis player into ditch.
Delia says: I must say I found this tasteless and insubstantial and was left with a feeling of emptiness and disappointment. A glass of Pimms and some strawberries and cream soon cheered me up, though. And the surprise? No more simpering temp secretaries with Union Jacks tattooed on their ar$es shouting "Come on Tim!" for two weeks next June. I believe this is what's called a "right result".
Next week
Laughing immigrants steal decorated war hero's replacement hip joint while he sleeps, then exchange it on Russian black market for sickening paedophile porn
MaxK
- 19 Apr 2005 07:54
- 217 of 337
Open government....lol !
Blair defies records demand
David Leigh and Rob Evans
Tuesday April 19, 2005
The Guardian
Records of the prime minister's dealings with a controversial Labour donor, the millionaire businessman Paul Drayson, should be released in the public interest, the independent parliamentary watchdog has ruled. But Downing Street has refused to comply, and claims other documents have been shredded.
http://politics.guardian.co.uk/foi/story/0,9061,1462770,00.html
cavman2
- 19 Apr 2005 13:13
- 218 of 337
The immigrants have also been witnessed catching and taking fish from Canals, Rivers and lakes etc. Free grub.
brianboru
- 19 Apr 2005 16:35
- 219 of 337
Now't wrong wi a nice trout from't upper Swale. However a two ounce roach from the Leeds Liverpool canal's a different kettle of fish ;-)
MaxK
- 19 Apr 2005 21:08
- 220 of 337
Are people really this disintersted in the election?
Lowest turnout ever?
cavman2
- 19 Apr 2005 23:51
- 221 of 337
They go after anything and they try hardest for Carp, also they don't worry who sees them apparently.
MaxK
- 21 Apr 2005 09:29
- 222 of 337
cavman2
- 21 Apr 2005 15:05
- 223 of 337
Well they would they think the Sun shines out of his backside.
MaxK
- 25 Apr 2005 20:55
- 224 of 337
Is there that much apathy about the election out there?
Judging by this thread, we're doomed!
moneyplus
- 26 Apr 2005 01:25
- 225 of 337
Sad isn't it ? our lives are dominated by politics and when we have a choice as to which politicians are worthy of our vote people can't be bothered to think about it or turn out and use their vote. No use complaining or saying I always vote the way my family have always voted--when they're in you've got to accept whatever actions they take for the next 5 years! People who don't want to think or use their vote lose the right to complain!!
brianboru
- 26 Apr 2005 10:27
- 226 of 337
A right good read!
Brian Sedgemore: 'I urge everyone to give Blair a bloody nose at the election'
26 April 2005
http://comment.independent.co.uk/commentators/story.jsp?story=633038
Blair showed his contempt for the law by appointing an unholy trinity of home secretaries who have been deeply flawed:
Jack Straw was simply not up to the job. David Blunkett saw himself as some sort of deified demi-god, issuing new commandments on a daily basis for the six o'clock news.
And then there's poor Charlie Clarke, a bit of a chump preaching the politics of fear who was dealt a cruel hand by Blunkett over the Terrorism Act.
He is keeping very quiet during this election campaign for some reason. Charles was the housing chairman in Hackney when I was the MP and to describe him as bloody useless would be to heap high praise on him.
Some say I should have stayed for things to change under Gordon Brown. The "Iron Chancellor" has a massive intellect but no backbone. He stayed carefully away from the difficult issues:- the nature of parliamentary democracy; the illegal war; the denial of trial by jury; Belmarsh, the control orders and pass laws.
And John Prescott - the defender of the left - has done a Faustian deal with the Devil for the price of a cup of tea and a pat on the back from Tony.
It is against this background that I finally decided I could no longer support the Labour Government and would join the Liberal Democrats to work for a nobler vision of Britain.
moneyplus
- 26 Apr 2005 11:27
- 227 of 337
STILL people say I've voted Labour all my life--I'm not going to change!! What do you think of the BNP manifesto?? Only about 6 people there to hear them say it will be compulsory to keep an assault rifle under the bed to use on anyone who seems a threat and politicians if they deserve it!! lock yourself in if they get in.
MaxK
- 27 Apr 2005 08:27
- 228 of 337
Is it all starting to go pear shaped for fony? This article is from the guardian, so it must be true!
Private poll reveals Labour fears
Neck and neck in key marginals
Patrick Wintour and Michael White
Wednesday April 27, 2005
The Guardian
http://politics.guardian.co.uk/election/story/0,15803,1471113,00.html
Tony Blair speaks to journalists at a technology school in London. Photograph: Peter Macdiarmid/Getty
Labour is under mounting pressure in marginal seats in the face of strong voter scepticism and a disciplined Conservative attack which has reduced Labour's lead to 2% or less in key constituencies.
A private report presented to Labour's London HQ has revealed that the overall Labour national lead is lagging in the marginals with up to 100 seats showing their candidates at most 2% ahead of Tory or Lib Dem challengers. In the most serious cases Labour lags 2% behind its rivals.
The internal report delivered to Alan Milburn, the campaign coordinator, at a so-called field operations meeting, suggested that the number certain to vote is still only about 56% overall - 3% down on 2001 - in a campaign which will be decided on turnout. Independent polls point the same way.
"None of the polls are showing the steady rise in the definite-to-vote [group] as there was four years ago," the report warned. "Labour no longer has the wind in its sails as it did in 1997. No government that has been in power for eight years does."
Based on analysis, feedback and canvass returns, the report cites four marginals -only one of them in the Tories' top 20 target seats - where the vote is admitted to be "neck and neck".
They are Shipley, held by junior minister, Chris Leslie, with a majority of 1,428; Hammersmith and Fulham (2,015); Forest of Dean (2,049); and Hove (3,171). They would fall on swings between 1.6% and 3.8%.
Labour admits its campaign is also "very difficult" in outer London's Enfield North (2,291), Croydon Central (3,984) and Harrow West (6,156) - even though Harrow, an unexpected gain in 1997, is the Tories' 115th target seat, well above Michael Howard's expectations.
The Milburn team has told Tony Blair this underlines the volatility of the immigration and asylum issue which Mr Howard, urged on by his Australian campaign advisers, is pushing into centre stage.
The Labour analysis is not picking up strong regional variations in voting intentions - as widely predicted by polling experts - but "loads of local factors".
Mr Milburn admitted last night: "Our research is showing that, in particular, women feel the election coverage is not focusing on the issues that concern them most. The truth is the [media] debate never settles long enough on one issue."
With barely a week left to sway votes in the becalmed 2005 campaign such remarks reflect dismay and frustration that disaffected Labour voters could go for other parties with dramatic consequences for the Labour majority.
Last night the Labour analysis appeared to find independent corroboration from a Mori poll for the Financial Times. On the day when Labour defector to the Lib Dems, retiring MP Brian Sedgemore, made headline news, the FT reported that among those certain to vote, Labour's lead is just two points - 36:34:23 - over the Tories and Lib Dems. That compared with 39:32:22 a week ago.
According to Mori, 80% of Tory voters are now certain to vote, compared with 71% a week ago. Labour's comparable figure is 64%, against 66% last week. Both figures suggest that Mr Howard's negative tactics are undermining Labour cohesion.
"It is the number of definite-to-votes who will make or break this election," Mr Milburn concedes.
At yesterday's campaign press conference Mr Blair was even more candid as he explained what aides call Mr Howard's "2-0 strategy" - Monday's admission that the Tories are trailing. "It's a classic strategy to say you cannot really win... Why do they keep using the phrase 'send a message'? It's as if there was not an election happening. That strategy deployed in Australia delivered a conservative government when people thought there would be a Labour government," Mr Blair said.
Mr Milburn said: "The idea is to garner the protest vote, to suggest [voters]... can take a cost-free kick at an incumbent government."
Fred1new
- 27 Apr 2005 11:34
- 229 of 337
What does does it feel like voting for Labour. A party which it led by what some of those voters and the probably the majority of the country "believes" (one of Tony's favourite word) to be a perpetual liar. How many of those voters are voting to cripple the next generation with debts if that generation attempt to go for university education. (While a large number of the MPs benefitted from the grant system to higher education and then achieved professional status. Their kids will not have the incomes of Cherry and B Liar to bail them out.) What a rotten country is emerging at the effect of this misled "New Labour".
Fred1new
- 27 Apr 2005 11:35
- 230 of 337
Vote Monster Raving Loonies.
Chiva20
- 27 Apr 2005 12:07
- 231 of 337
Not really one to get drawn into political discussions, but I couldn't resist. Labour are getting slammed for being liars etc. They have told half truths to an extent, but do you honestly believe the Tories or Lib Dems would do any better? Shocking grasp of politics if you do, and you clearly didn't live through the Tories last time in power. I think people are missing the bigger picture here. Labour have done amazing things for the economy, however I accept they aren't prone to mistakes - but isn't anyone? The polls suggest most people agree they are the right party for the job, so most people think they are the best. They will on election day.
The contentious issue of the war is in my opinion ultimately irrelavant as it would have happened regardless of UK input, something does need to be done to knock out a murdering tyrant like Saddam, it was the right thing to do, whether the reasons for arriving at that conclusion were cloudy or not. Saddam still killed people by the thousand, left the rest of his country in abject poverty, harboured other murdering terrorists like Osama. Don't forget 9/11, Kuwait etc.
I see the arguments for paying more attention to this countries problems as oppose to the worlds, but does that mean its right to forget the rest of the world? Are we to just leave it to someone else to deal with 'cos its not our business'?
In my opinion Blairs integrity remains intact, and in my view there is no real opposition to speak of. Labour for me, until I see a viable alternative.