Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Oh Bless, what breed are they (I had a german shephard and a Springer Spaniel0
























Let me know tomoorow what breed they are - not that it matters so long as they are ok.

Will do 3m. Good night.

A 10 foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a boat with the bottom rung on the surface of the water. The rungs are one foot apart, and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches per hour. How long will it be until three rungs are covered?





Never. The boat rises as the tide goes up.

A little girl kicks a soccer ball. It goes 10 feet and comes back to her. How is this possible?





She kicked it up.

A truck driver is going down a one way street the wrong way, and passes at least ten cops. Why is he not caught?




He's walking on the sidewalk.

Ha ha ha!!! Your holiday did you good.

It does not looking out the window at the moment. :-))

Past and present leaders of the Party



Switch on to the Cameron speech: We are here to fight:


Sounded more like an appeal.

I thought I had switched on to Comic Relief or Red Nose Week.

All he needed was a shield and a sword.

It is often said that if nobody tells you something specific, how do you know about it? For example, if you have a booger hanging out of your nose, or some parsley stuck in your teeth, or your underarms smell like a teenager’s dirty sock basket and nobody tells you about this; how do you rectify it? The same goes if your are a wanker. There are many, many people out there who show all the signs of being a wanker and are unaware of it. Some of these people don’t want to be wankers and would gladly address the situation if they were approached, but of course, some people are just born wankers and no amount of careful hints or subtle coughing will ever change that

you won't cough if you learn to swallow with elegance

lol

Gee Wizz dc that holiday has done you good.

Already phoned Thomas cook for next March. :-)) . What else can you say re the above. lol
Coughing with a cold at the moment.lol. Planes are bad for your health. :-))

Dreams,

LoL.

Were you a public school boy?

You seem preoccupied with "wanking", and the association seems triggered by the "icons" of the "Nasty" party.

(Understandable.)

But there you are in my innocence, I just thought you might like to see them again after your holiday.

Have you renewed your membership, you seem to to be developing the correct credentials.

When you look in the mirror do you also sing the tory anthem ;


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Keegq7anD4I



But do like the line it is all in the National Interest.

Leveson!

Oh Dear, circulating germs not good. I wonder re-your hilarious post whether the w----- is ambidextrous!!!! Hope your cough improves and your dogs are fine.

This is a serious question dreamcatcher, since you obviously love dogs. I recently bought a rescue dog - cocker spaniel, aged 6 - and she has settled in well except for the major problem that when we go walkies she wants to chase cars. I have now resorted to using an electronic spray collar, but even that doesn't seem to be having much effect. I'm usually good at training my dogs, but this one has me stumped! Any advice much appreciated.

keep her on a lead!

cynic, I don't like to always keep dogs on leads. One of the joys of walking a well behaved dog for me is to watch it romp around. This particular dog has been shut in a shed for 6 years on a puppy farm, so I suppose she is going to take a little while to get used to the big, wide world. One previous dog I had would behave perfectly off the lead on a golf course and understood she wasn't allowed on the tees, greens, or in the bunkers - and she was a rescue dog.

Iwould like to shut your poor dogs previous owners in a shed for years. Poor dog.

Just got home. As for the chasing episodes, she needs to be redirected as soon as the behavior starts and ideally as soon as he starts to get aroused, whines or makes any indication that the chase is about to begin. The faster you can cut her off and redirect his behavior, the more successful you will be long term. Teach yourself to watch for him staring. As soon as he keys into one of the cars and is staring in their direction, call her name or clap your hands. When he looks at you or turns around, praise and reward her. She needs to be taught that another behavior will be more successful for her at the same time she learns that you are not allowing her to practice the behavior you don’t like (chasing).I sound like Barbara Woodhouse. :-))

doodlebug4 chase cars ? not cats ? never heard that before. The above will work for cats as well as cars. Good luck.