Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

hay i no all about the plot
you must remember the uk next to the USA are the most corrupt natins on the planet
lord lucan is not dead but was never going to be found he is apart of the system

3 monkeys I do agree with you this gov is a total disgrace
the libs are full of perverts the tory party full of liars
osborne is a LIAR
cameron well words can not say enough about this human
23 months and they will be wiped out

I HAVE BEEN A RIGHT WING TORY WITH ALL MY FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIENDS AND THEIR ARE HUNDREDS OF US WILL NEVER VOTE FOR THESE LIARS AGAIN

I WOULD SOONER VOTE LABOUR . BUT WE ARE ALL GOING TO VOTE UKIP

we want out of europe

Royal Navy News.

The Royal Navy is proud of its new fleet of Type 45 destroyers. Having initially named the first two ships HMS Daring and HMS Dauntless, the Naming Committee has, after intensive pressure from Brussels , renamed them HMS Cautious and HMS Prudence.

The next five ships are to be named HMS Empathy, HMS Circumspect, HMS Nervous, HMS Timorous and HMS Apologist.

Costing £850 million each, they meet the needs of the 21st century and comply with the very latest employment, equality, health & safety and human rights laws.

The new user-friendly crow's nest comes equipped with wheelchair access. Live ammunition has been replaced with paintballs to reduce the risk of anyone getting hurt and to cut down on the number of compensation claims. Stress counsellors and lawyers will be on duty 24hrs a day and each ship will have its on-board industrial tribunal.

The crew will be 50/50 men and women, and balanced in accordance with the latest Home Office directives on race, gender, sexuality and disability. Sailors will only have to work a maximum of 37hrs per week in line with Brussels Health & Safety rules, even in wartime! All the vessels will come equipped with a maternity ward and nursery, situated on the same deck as the Gay Disco.

Tobacco will be banned throughout the ship, but cannabis will be allowed in the wardroom and messes. The Royal Navy is eager to shed its traditional reputation for; "Rum, sodomy and the lash"; so out has gone the occasional rum ration which is to be replaced by sparkling water. Although sodomy remains, it has now been extended to include all ratings under 18. The lash will still be available but only on
request. Condoms can be obtained from the Bosun in a variety of flavours, except Capstan Full Strength.

Saluting officers has been abolished because it is deemed elitist and is to be replaced by the more informal, "Hello Sailor". All information on notices boards will be printed in 37 different languages and Braille. Crew members will now no longer be required to
ask permission to grow beards or moustaches and this applies equally to women crew members.

The MoD is working on a new "non-specific" flag because the White Ensign is considered to be offensive to minorities. The Union Flag had already been discarded.

The newly re-named HMS Cautious is due to be commissioned soon in a ceremony conducted by Captain Hook from the Finsbury Park Mosque who will break a petrol bomb over the hull. She will gently slide into the water as the Royal Marines Band plays "In the Navy" by the Village People.
Her first deployment will be to escort boat loads of illegal immigrants across the channel to ports on England 's south coast.

The Prime Minister said, "While these ships reflect the very latest in modern thinking, they are also capable of being up-graded to comply with any new legislation coming out of Brussels ."

His final words were, "Britannia waives the rules."

what they going to protect the uk is a cesspit since this gov came to power
it is the rest of the world that wants to be protected from these nazis

The NEW UK COMPETION TO SURPASS THE LOTTERY
sorry not open to UK citizens.

Welcome to the COMPETION THAT IS TAKING THE UK BY STORM.

'ASYLUM'.

Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:
HIJACK AN AIRLINER and win A COUNCIL HOUSE !

We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor, The British Taxpayer.
And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British Passport, and you only need one word of English:
'ASYLUM'

Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging, burgling and
accosting drivers at traffic lights.

This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.

No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable.
All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:
'ASYLUM'

A few years ago, 140 members of a Taliban family from Afghanistan were flownGoat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.
They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain.
Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area, in Historic Bedfordshire.

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience,
Just apply for legal aid.
Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help - FREE
It won't cost you a penny.
It could change your life forever.
So play today.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...the list is endless
EVERYONE IS WELCOME - INCLUDING ALL YOUR OWN WIVES AND CHILDREN
COME ON DOWN !

Get along to the airport !
Get along to the truck park !
Get along to the ferry terminal !
Don't stop in Germany or France !
All European countries will willingly speed you on your way !
Come straight to Britain and you are:
**** GUARANTEED ****
to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth.
Everyone's a winner, when they play
'ASYLUM'

PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERY BRITISH TAXPAYER YOU KNOW !

greek that about sums it up

The wording of the letter that landed on Nick Clegg’s desk almost exactly two years ago makes clear the desperation of its sender.


Complaining about the ‘improper’ behaviour of one of his MPs — renowned womaniser Mike Hancock — it was sent by recorded delivery on March 9, 2011, to the Liberal Democrat headquarters in Cowley Street, Westminster.


‘What he did to me is shocking,’ wrote 37-year-old Annie from Portsmouth in Hampshire — whose real name can’t be revealed for legal reasons.



another lib and MP the uk 2013 run by dishonest people

the uk needs to rid it self of the 3 main partys vote for a clean start voteUKIP

3m ...... i think there are very good security reasons why ex PMs and the like have continuing security once they leave office, whether or not they have their own assets, usually in bricks and mortar and the like .... surely you do not require that to be explained?

benefit cuts
there'll always be a level at which some people will be in the grey area on the fringe; it cannot be avoided under any system ..... more to the point, perhaps you should question whether or not benefits should indeed be a lifetime sinecure as you imply - and yes, i do know it is very difficult for many to find work, especially for those who left school barely able to read and write (often if not usually their own or their parents' fault)
i'll refrain from rabbiting further about the futility and stupidity of children with limited academic ability being persuaded to go to 3rd-rate unis to get 5th-rate degrees that are totally useless in the real world

==============

btw, i have at last got my recipe for jambon persille properly sorted ..... loin of pork stuffed with brandy-soaked prunes and walnuts is pretty good too!

cynic the teachers spend most of their time trying to understand immigrants
and have no time for teaching the children sad but true .

when i need your nonsense opinion, i'll let you know

the only words the immigrants understand is free BENEFITS fact not fiction send them back home vote UKIP
the poles were in M/S saturday stealing

They use (misuse) human right to get benefit and those making decisions are either ignorant or, most likely, biased towards helping foreigners.

Our politicians think about nothing but to gain votes!!!

ahoj when i reported the polish the security asked me to be a witness i said why
the courts will let them off .
the same polish girl was the one they caught a few weeks back they go from store to store that is what they do for a living

ahoj the one that we customers jumped on in tesco took is shirt off and called us english ever name under the sun then the police came and pretended they did not understand send the scum back home
he knocked the security guard to the floor the girl run off

have you posters always noticed cynic never answers a question
just abuse that about sums is upbringing up

Cynic, I fully understand that there have to be cuts - the country is in a mess. I feel that some of the cuts are rather severe and to implement them is going to probably cost more than they will save. Why change DLA to PIP? for example. Ex PM's or at least the ones who left office years ago should pay for their own security at the end of the day they can or should be able to afford to!!!! I have worked all my life and have never claimed umemployment benefit - jobs are very few and far between these days, the ordinary person cannot find full time, most positions are part time.

Job centres I believe are handing pages of vacancies to people but when they apply which has to be done on line now (so heaven help people without a computer) when they do apply there hasn't even been a job in the first place or they have been taken.

One cannot educate a child who does not want to learn, extremely sad but true. End of rant.

Yes I would like your new recepies.

3m,

I agree with you on something.

This government will be known for its "meanness", it is earning the name of the Nasty party.

I know there are abuses of the welfare system and they should be addressed.

It does seem a little daft that somebody can occupy a 3-4 or more bedroom house indefinitely when the occupying family is of one or two.

But, if they have lived in those houses for 20-30 years or in their late 60s or 70s, their families coming back to them, or the look after their kids, or their offspring, while their children are at work, or have need of another room for medical carers or facilities.

Making the occupiers of the “too large property” move out of their property into smaller properties, (which are not available) in that area where they have their support systems is cruel. This leads to further fragmentation of families and social unity.

(One of the glories of the Thatcher government was the selling off of “social” housing.)

If money had been poured into “local government” social housing building of various “sizes”, then the problem of “under occupation” could have been addressed in a more sensitive way and also the cash utilised, would have filtered into the local communities and into general economy as stimuli.

The Thatcher period will be remembered as the selfish and nasty period of modern government and this government will leave a stench, self-interest and corruption and misgovernment.

----------------

Ahoj,

Osborne and Cameron as little politician using populist techniques and rely on tub thumping followers.

The tories were on occasions a respectable party, the are now the party of opportunists with little sense of the future in the long term.

3 Monkies,
I think the issue is with changing culture or varying culture in the UK.
Thos who live on benefit for life don't know where their money come from. So, they are happy with their life, which is more relaxing than those working hard.

They just read that the former head of RBS gets £700k a year tax free. So they believe 20-40k a year is nothing, so what they get is their right.

n fact both are wrong, giving away£700k salary to former RBS boss for destroying the bank, and alowing benefit for life.

david milaband to get £300.000 a year for is charity work
some bloody charity will neve give another penny to charity and i give
over 16k ever year not a penny more

i do agree with cuts to benefits not not via bedroom tax
unless they refuse a smaller home .
but this bedroom tax is just plain EVIL the work of NAZIS

bowel cancer in men going up and all down to the takeaways that they eat full
of fat salt and meat that isnot fit for consumtion