Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Types of Men You Might See in the Men's Restroom


* EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.

* SOCIABLE: Joins friends in a piss whether he has to or not.

* CROSS-EYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.

* TIMID: Can't piss if someone's watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.

* INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink.

* CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor.

* WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.

* FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.

* ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.

* CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.

* SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed.

* PATIENT: Stands very close for a long while waiting, reads with free hand.

* DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.

* TOUGH: Bangs pecker on side of urinal to dry it.

* FAT: Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in shoe.

* LITTLE: Stands on box, falls in, drowns.

* DRUNK: Holds right thumb in left hand, pisses in pants.

* DISGRUNTLED: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.

* CONCEITED: Holds two-inch pecker like a baseball bat.

* RADICAL: Ignores urinal. Pisses on wall.

What happened to normal dc?


re: 29486. Good read Haystack, but I can see more disruption wherever UKIP stand.

Think Chris Huhne and the Eastleigh result.

AOL poll yesterday total polled 12846 , so far on aol home page .....



26% Conservative

Labour

23%




Liberal Democrat

3%




Ukip

38%




Other

10%

Sound's like a good idea

Senior police officers back the idea of using privately run cells, in which drunks could be locked up and made to pay for their care, to tackle disorder.

Sounds like an excellent idea aldwickk, but I'm not sure how easy it would be to implement.

there was someone on the box this morning who commented, "We don't like to call them drunk tanks but welfare centres" ..... typical of our society where you can't call a spade a spade, but instead hide (self-induced) reality behind some soft euphemism

Conservative party membership has halved since David Cameron and 'clique' came to power

Membership of the Conservative Party has nearly halved since David Cameron became Tory leader, figures have disclosed.


Membership of the Conservative Party has nearly halved since David Cameron became Tory leader Photo: REUTERS/Phil Noble


By Peter Dominiczak, Political Correspondent
9:14AM BST 18 Sep 2013

According to the website ConservativeHome, the Tories have claimed there are now 134,000 Tory members, down from over 253,000 during the 2005 leadership contest.

The party had earlier this year refused to release the figures amid claims that the number may have fallen below 100,000.

Douglas Carswell, the Conservative MP, has previously warned that the party is “haemorrhaging members because of David Cameron and his “remote clique” at Westminster.

Membership of both the Labour and Liberal Democrat parties has fallen in recent years.

However, with a membership of around 187,537, Labour’s numbers are much better than their Conservative rivals.


more: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/10316950/Conservative-party-membership-has-halved-since-David-Cameron-and-clique-came-to-power.html

Morning Cynic.. Hows your anger management course going? -):

Labour membership has crashed as well as Libs. This is not specific to UK. There is a trend across the EU for membership of all parties to fall. Labour are likely to drop more than most very soon, due to stopping automatic affiliation of trade union members.

angry not that often and if so very briefly or even fleetingly ..... telling it like it is - regularly

cynic, they could always call them - "recovery units for p--s heads". Just a suggestion!

drunk tanks says it in a nutshell and is also suitably belittling for the occupants

"angry not that often and if so very briefly or even fleetingly"... Not according to quite a lot of your posts on here sunbeam -):

your view .... just because i might call you a total arsehole doesn't mean i'm angry

Oh dear another defect… No sense of humour either.

I suppose it is a bit two-faced of me to be passing comments on "recovery units" when I bought some shares in BES earlier this week!:-)

These private recovery units are a stupid idea. Just like the bedroom tax those that cant pay and have nothing to lose wont pay.

All that will happen is arrears will build up just like the BTax and in the end the tax payer will end up bailing the offenders out.

Check with your local council and be suprised to be shocked just how much housing/C/tax arrears are building up at present.

Whats needed is fines on pub landlords (and I believe its against the law to sell ale to a drunk or let them get that way) and more coppers on the beat.

.

For once I agree. There are adequate laws to stop landlords selling drinks to drunk people. A couple of landlords losing their licences would send a shockwave through the licenced trade. I know an editor of a national daily and put this to him as far back as 10 years ago. He wanted to run a story based on it, but was stopped by the proprietors of the paper.

hmmmm glad I took you off filter Hays, your not such a bad stick after all. (cynic and hillary remain ON) , It just wouldnt be practical for these private companys.

Cant think the police chiefs have thought this through correctly mind its obviously CUTS that have led to a whole raft of hair brained ideas being touted by public organisations.

I suppose their are those at home who have overdone it home and need A@E treatment, but then again are they in most cases likely to be in a position where they can in essence pay a fine........ in a lot of cases I doubt it.

I agree with Hays clampdown hard on pub landlords and target off licences who sell ale to repeat binge drinkers.