Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

for those whom the cap fits, let them wear it

None of us like the 'Law'. This is probably why.....

Here are some of the real laws:

1. Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated with filthy grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll desperately need have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers -
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Supermarket Law -
As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

6. Variation Law -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

7. Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters -
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result -
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics -
The severity of an itch is inversely proportional to the reach required to give it a scratch.

11. The Law of the Theatre & Sports Arena -
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, someones will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Health and Sports Club Lockers -
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces -
The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument -
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance -
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking -
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.

Thats Any Cap you mean then -):

Dunces cup for you Stan

any human that believes their is a GOD is a complete dimwit a simpleton
we live on a very small pebble flying round a massive solar system .
that one day will wipe it out .
Stephen Hawkins will give you the facts GOD is a fairy tale for the
low life of the earth giving them hope while they are raped murdered
and used for the rich .

god is a fairy tale and any one who thinks he is real is a dreamer
who as no life
get on with your short life and just enjoy it while you can

Spineless Anna Soubry spouts hypocritical bilge about immigration.

this is another reason the CONSERVATIVE party is going down the pan
another stupid dimwit of a woman who speaks shite a clown at best

ANNA SOUBRY YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THE ONCE GREAT PARTY NOW
A JOKE OF A PARTY

vote UKIP

A slight improvement

Update - Labour lead at 5
by YouGov in Politics
Sun November 10, 2013 6 a.m. GMT

Latest YouGov / The Sunday Times results 8th November - Con 34%, Lab 39%, LD 10%, UKIP 11%;

Improvement?


8-)

Improvement in the polling figures, improvement in the economy, improvement in employment, improvement in immigration, improvement in UK faster than all of the EU.....

it doesn't say much for ed millipede and his bunch that despite the conservatives very best efforts, labour is still struggling badly to establish a meaningful poll lead, meaningless as those generally are

as it stands, another hung parliament must assuredly be on the cards, though it will also be interesting to see what backwash emanates from the unite / mcluskey "conspiracy" .... is it really any wonder that no one trusts labour any more than the present crew?

For whom?


Bye the way.




Can't remember how the conners sold their policies, but see that the economy improved since they started adopted Ed Ball's policies.

what is the above post meant to show, let alone prove?

i suspect some sort of silly swipe at the present bunch, but if so, what did you (fred) do to stop them returning (nb) to power?
absolutely diddly-squat as you refused to vote, and that being so, what right do you have to gripe at all?
none at all, is the obvious and fair conclusion

But look at it up to the election

Cynic,

Are you on the bottle?


========

What I like is watching a poor loser cringing and spluttering.

Shows us you picture.

Have not learnt much from this thread, but what I have learnt is priceless. If you think I will be going on about the Con party on a money am thread when I retire and on a Sunday of all days. Very sad all I can say.

Your request is my command Fredrick.. The splutterer in all his glory.



A rare but increasingly common picture of the right "horrible" our very own Alfred Manuel Andrew Jeremy Cynic... Assuredly -):

what a silly pair you are indeed