OK temporary accomodation for us ex-pats of Spacie's coffee house that is sadly now boarded up and in memory of Goldie's old pad the tearooms.

No fancy stuff, as this is temporary until we find a nice new place but it's warm down here with the fire and aga and I've organised a daily guinness, lager and wine delivery. There is a small kitchen in the corner and a few comfy cosy armchairs.

So feel free to take refuge when you need a break - self-service generally I'm afraid but when I can I'll rustle up a meal :>)

.......last Friday.......he did.......shopping can you believe......yeh.......for glasses........he broke aload making irish shots........yeh.......ok.......ok.......thanks. Bye Bunny. x

(hangs up)

I'm going shopping!

I'm back! Busy in Chester today. I've bought a load of extra strong bottles of ketchup.

Are the bottles made of titanium.

Not sure. But they bounce when you drop them on the floor, Look. (BOUNCE! bounce! bounce! shluppptffth) Oh no! That wasn't supposed to happen! I'd better get the mop.

Oh no all down my trousers.

Zip, I am taking them off now.

It's ok, KEAYDIAN has left a pair of his here, you can put those on. I'll just nip outside while you change!

They are clean by the way, I put them in the industrial washer with all the other stuff.

I Will have to undo the fly to see out, as they are so long. Will they not shrink a lot more? Or dare we cut the legs off.

The scissors are in the top drawer. Um, I think I'll just nip out for a long walk!

How does that look, I like three quarter lengh. He will not even notice.

Ah, haha, um yes er, fantastic. See you later! (Runs up the street).

Now i fancy a blow job. Hold your horses its a cocktail. lol

Can you do this barman - Just the cocktail please!

(An eery silence falls over the bar)

Where did they get this bar person from? muttered under my breath.

A blow job - 1 part whipped cream
1 part kahlua
1 part Irish cream
1 part vodka
Layer in order, in shot glass.
shoot with no hands

It is a drink really.

then can I order, an ass whipper
a bit of bully
a black eye
a bord night
after birth
afternoon suicide
antifreeze
anorexic frog
awamawama ding dong
all times 4 please, I am going to have a night to remember.

shop has just passed out with shock.

SHOP,SHOP,RINGS BELL, BLOWS AIR HORN, FIRES CANNON, any chance of service.

(Eery silence)

(Meanwhile, far away, Kim aka Shop, is still running).