Chortle !!

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 60

1. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

2. With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

3. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.
4. Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)

5. After you feel confident at that level, place one potato in each bag

I can imagine Manuel doing the above.


8-)

Are these the greatest comedy one-liners ever told?

Lol! I'm all for prioritisation!

The couple above also had this chat.

Him: When I die I'm going to leave everything to you.

Her: You already do you lazy sod.

🤣

Stewardess on long distance flight asks passenger: "would you like dinner sir?" upon which passenger replied: "are there any options?" Stewardess responded: "there are indeed sir-YES OR NO.

a creep calls randomly a woman and says in a lewd voice: "I reckon you go a tight bum"
Woman says :" indeed I have , he is in the living room watching the cricket..who can I say is calling?"

re skinny's 410...
Husband: "think the 2 for 1 pair of dentures should have come with instructions"
Wife: "why ?"
Husband: "reckon of we swap bottom dentures to top and vice versa we actually may look like a happily married couple.."

Request

Anyone selling a hoover, mine is broke and I have a baby.

Reply

You're better off using wet wipes, a hoover won't shift the sticky bits and tends to make them cry.

...works on me!!! I have not bought a hoover 25 years now!! (just the occasional hair dryer..)

The old couple above


Her: You never tell me you love me

Him: I told you once, if anything changes I'll let you know

Interesting marketing ploy of lingerie manufacturers: Memorable lines of pop songs are being printed on both sides of ladies underwear and supposedly are very successful.
Marketing manager still unsure about : "I would do anything for love" on front and "but I won't do that" on back...

I call my dog Gunot, 'cos he often barks.

s£d

Q. Why did Paddy's dog have a flat nose?

A. Chasing parked cars.