OK temporary accomodation for us ex-pats of Spacie's coffee house that is sadly now boarded up and in memory of Goldie's old pad the tearooms.

No fancy stuff, as this is temporary until we find a nice new place but it's warm down here with the fire and aga and I've organised a daily guinness, lager and wine delivery. There is a small kitchen in the corner and a few comfy cosy armchairs.

So feel free to take refuge when you need a break - self-service generally I'm afraid but when I can I'll rustle up a meal :>)

Shall I make some porridge, what type of bucket should I use?

Porridge? Um, yes good idea. The red bucket is best.

Is that the bucket with the red lead paint? Not a good idea, I'll use the one from the cleaners cupboard.

Ah, good point. Leave the mop in, you'll need it to stir the porridge.

Better not leave the mop in, never get it clean again, cleaner would be mad as a hatter if I ruined her mop.

Well, turn it round and use the handle to stir!

Good thinking Batman.

Ok, I'll pour it in, you stir.

I thought porridge was sort of grey colour, what's with the green stuff?

Um, tastes a bit like floorwash. You did empty the bucket first?

Of course I did, it looked clean enough. Now it has set solid, like concrete but harder.

Ooer! I can't get it out of the bucket!

Cornflakes?

I'll use a bit of dymanite, that'll shift it.

Erm, well........ok, I'll just get my hard hat.

Listen for the "BNAG"!

Have you got some dodgy dynamite?

Slightly dodgy.

It'll be an innocuous "BNAG" then. I'll leave my hard hat off.

Quite a quiet BNAG. The bucket is now flat and the porridge is still in a big bucket shaped lump. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

I've got a saw; any use?