OK temporary accomodation for us ex-pats of Spacie's coffee house that is sadly now boarded up and in memory of Goldie's old pad the tearooms.

No fancy stuff, as this is temporary until we find a nice new place but it's warm down here with the fire and aga and I've organised a daily guinness, lager and wine delivery. There is a small kitchen in the corner and a few comfy cosy armchairs.

So feel free to take refuge when you need a break - self-service generally I'm afraid but when I can I'll rustle up a meal :>)

You mean the web I'm stuck in?

Yes that's the one! Just make sure you don't cover the notice otherwise we'll never get a new cleaner.

WANTED!

CLEANER.

Hmm, needs to be a bit higher, that pile of dead flies is hiding the CLEANER bit.

Take a seat Mrs O.

Cup of cobwebs Hilda? Er, no.....I meant tea!

K I think it needs a flock of cleaners top sort this place out ;-)

Well it certainly needs a flocking good clean! :o)

Language Timothy

Sorry!

By the way, what has Hilda got in her hands? Is it a mop or a brush or.......?

A massive.........Panatela

Anyone got a match? Oh hang on, here's the postman. "Hev Yew Gotta Loight Boy?"

Hold ohn ah minute and one will check if you, one's old bean, have any post. 2 letters todeay. noh where is one's lightah wot wot? found it. press, press, press. Absolutely top hole - I have to say.

Can one ask ah questiohn? why aaare you, one's old bean, setting light to hilda's lavatory plungah? Goodness me!

Eh? Oops! It's KEAYDIAN's fault, he told me it was a cigar! Oh, how come the Singing Postman has suddenly gone all posh? :oD

Been to Elo McUtion's lessons?

I iz an aminal in da art hof bangin English. as ali g iz gona say.

One can feel ah song coming to ones throat. postman pat, postman pat, postman pat and his black and white cat, eaaarly in the morning, just as deay is dawning, he picks up all the post bags in his van. postman pat. postman pat. postman pat and his black and white cat. all the birds aaare singing, and the deay is fie beginning. pat feels he's ah hairlairh jolly chap. everybody knows his bright red van, all his friends will smile as he waves to greet them, maybe, you, one's old bean, can ne'ah be sure, there'll be knock (knock knock) ring (ring ring). letters through your doohr. (hee hee).

I said nothing of the sort.....I typed it.

Postman Pat says he wants to know what you typed it in, QWERTY, AZERTY, QWERTZ, HCESAR, DVORAK, COLEMAK, MALTRON OR JCUKEN?