JOKE OF THE DAY

Dr. Jones goes to the retirement home for his monthly rounds.

He sees Joe and asks him, "Joe, how much is three times three?"

Joe responds "59."

He goes over to Tom and asks, "Tom, how much is three times three?"

Tom responds, "Wednesday."

He finally goes over to John and asks, "John, how much is three times three?"

"NINE" replies John.

"That's right ...now how did you come to that answer?"

"It was easy...I just subtracted 59 from Wednesday!"

Another for the "UPS"

SVE 25.25p
Good volume buying last Thursday as SP bounces from recent lows,
MACD on the turning at the chart and indicators rising from oversold,
well undervalued as portfolio is at 50% discount to NAV

Another for the "UPS"

CHP 13.25p

Rumours of an update on the Colombian fields, were the flowing rates are ahead of previous expectations.
The pendant at the chart must be close to the end and the bounce should be now on
SP at the lower Bollinger Band (rule says: buy at lower band sell at upper band)

Good morning traders!

In Asia today, the Hang Seng ended the morning up 188.06 points at 16,617.51, while the Nikkei was recently up 200.22 points at 17,200.58.

New York's main oil contract, light sweet crude for May delivery, was up 6 cents at $70.46 a barrel from its close of $70.40 in New York yesterday, nearing an all-time high.

Early broker notes:

BRITISH LAND UPGRADED TO 'BUY' AT MERRILL LYNCH

Hope you all enjoyed a good Easter weekend!

Happy trading!

G.

Morning all.

Good morning all

shares on the move UP

EME132p +5.5p after up 11p

CHP 14pp +0.75p

SVE 25.75p +0.50p

CPNR 4.25 -4.75p +0.375

Midday Market Summary

       LUNCH TIME FUN

another one for the UPS

DTK 120 - 123p
Went oversold last week, and yet went further down this morning,
is bouncing now, not able to buy online on size only 1,5K, MMs short of stock. High growth company, with lots of new contracts won this year

       JOKE OF THE DAY

BIG CHIEF
There was this Indian chief who was straining to blow a fart but it wouldn't come out.

So he sent his little messenger boy to the doctor and he says, "Big chief, no fart."

The doctor gives him a can of beans and tells him to come back tomorrow to tell him what happened.

The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, "Big chief, no fart."

The doctor gives him 10 cans of beans this time.

The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, "Big chief, no fart."

The doctor gives him 100 cans of beans.

The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, "Big chief, no fart."

The doctor gives him 1,000 cans of beans and says, "If this doesn't work then nothing will."

The messenger boy comes back the next day and looks at the doctor.

The doctor anxiously asked, "Well, did it work?"

The messenger boy says, "Big fart, no chief!"

End-of-day Market Summary