You've been out of the country too long Hilary. Forgotten your heritage and the fine things you used to take for granted.
Forgotten this? - a yuppies car that only Peckham's finest could afford. Ecologically friendly before the EU knew what an ecology was. Healthy also. It encouraged its owners to get out and walk.
And how about this? Finest food known to man. And woman. Legend is that the cornish only became pirates so that they could afford more.
And don't forget about the north. Nothing sexier than seeing your girl enjoy a stick of Blackpool rock. Great defence weapon also if anyone takes her kiss me quick hat too literally. Who wants gooey Swiss chocolate when this is available. You won't find this in your Portofino's.