Time to go for it, girlies !

Any old farts of a grumpy disposition need not apply :)

Sorry Poochy, I'm coming.....mustav got waylaid, hope the cold hasnt done any lasting damage

One night a man rolls over in bed and cuddles his wife. she says "not tonight darling, I have a gynaecologist's appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh and clean". The man feels rejected and rolls back over and tries to go to sleep. He can't and a few minutes later, he rolls over again and asks his wife, "do you have a dentists's appointment too?"

Sat opposite a blond on the train this morning, bloody lovely she was

eye contact jeff ...?

nah, her book was more interesting than looking at me. I suppose the fact that she had a book probably meant she might be a blond with a couple of brain cells

Which way up was it?

might not of been her book...jeff..!

Jeff, was she using wax crayons or felt tips?

Sorry, but I did not take too much notice of the book. Her felt tips were rather nice tho

always a give away...once jeff was on the tube and by honest accident,was looking up a ladys skirt opp....when i eyes meet she gave me such a look mate
well emarressed and we both got off @ same stop,could of melted..learnt my lesson..bght a paper after that

Can't think why they wear a short skirt if they don't want at least one fella to look up it.

:-)

By the way, has anyone noticed how most ladies become really accomplished at aiming "the best angle for someone to look up their skirt to check out their panties" away from the optimum angle of potential gaze for the guy or TV camera opposite?

I know this sounds a bit pervy but here goes

Have you noticed they sit all tight legged but as soon as they fall asleep the legs start to open.

Hmm...but at least they don't fart.

Oh yes they do. Everyone's digestion process produces gas of some sort. In fact, on average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts.

Facts on ladies' farts

If they are also brave, really gorgeous girls could try this:

Take a bath readily prepared with a lighter and with the lights out.
Fart.
When the bubbles reach the top, have the lighter waiting to explode them.
It looks really good in the dark. And they don't smell because you've burned all the gas fumes.

PS. Don't tell anyone.

Men can keep a secret but can't keep a fart in.

Women can keep a fart in, but can't keep a secret.

And I thought the wife took matches into the bathroom to light the candles.

docproc...bet there`s never a dull moment in your house...lol

Himmelfahrt:)

good game,who can blow the candle out,or use a lighter,best after 8 pints and a chicken madras ;-))

steve

was that a hAIRY arse (_!_)