Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

is it really alan? is that what you wear when you and the missus go dogging?

It does look like a genuine breakdown,,he probably broke a fingernail fixing that..

never seen portable airbags before!!!

No bosley they are for jacking up the car if you don't have a jack, just get under and inflate..

Woah, hang on, hold fire. Some of us have been having genuine car trouble today. Some evil little shit went and broke into my car. An entire broken window. My car is so crap I'm suprised they didn't write it off.
Secondly, that is not what I would normally wear to repair the car. White! Get a grip. It would be more likely to be a Fuschia, off the shoulder boiler suit in latex.
Finally, I am very scared. Bosley appears to know what dogging is. If this is the case I am going to give up using car parks at night ever again, just in case I see him there, IN THE NUDDY!!!!!!
Alan

Jimmy,
Could happily spend hours seeking out where I blow to inflate them!!!

Wish me luck guys. We're going for 5 straight wins on the bounce tomorrow. Victory will promise us the rewards of mid-table obscurity!!!!

Thank you and Love that picture!!!!!!
We won by the way. It's astonishing, but we did!!!!!! We won easily, even through the rain!!! My weekend couldn't be any better!!!!

alan? so it was you!!!!

What was me? What have I done? Do I need an alibi? I wasn't even there when that sheep wasn't raped at knifepoint!!!!

but forensics have matched the footprints to some wellies found in your garage!!!!

Not my wellies. I borrowed them from a bloke in a pub. Don't know what you're talking about. Everyone wears pure natural wool underpants. Everyone knows that. I am now being told by my legal advisor (Cherie Blair) to claim that this is a normal way for my religion to behave and that to ban the inappropriate use of mint sauce is an infringement of my almost human rights. She has advised me to seek asylum in the St. Dunstan the Aggresive home for the permanently bewildered and avoid sugar, fruit and answering leading questions.

Think you've been caught bang to rights alan, have you got any welsh in your blood ,,check your family tree,, you can get help for this sort of complaint

WELSH!!! WELSH!!!
I will have you know I am from finest Romany extraction (My Mum and Dad used to blackmail Gypsies!!)

recognise these , alan?

Come on Al, your caught with your pants down!!!

And you will end up looking like one....

Wilbs,
You got some seriously strange sheep where you live, judging by the photo. You don't live near Sellafield by any chance???
Boz,
You need wider tops on the wellies for that pursuit, Though for the record, if you cover the front of your jumper with velcro, you can do it human style and get to kiss the sheep as well.

My favourite song? I'll never find another ewe.