A young guy from Idaho moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in Idaho."

Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.

"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.

"How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One".

The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.

"That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in Idaho, but you're not on the farm anymore, son."

The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"

The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65."

The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?"

The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing!"

:-)

Chortle !!

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 60

1. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

2. With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

3. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.
4. Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)

5. After you feel confident at that level, place one potato in each bag

I can imagine Manuel doing the above.


8-)

Are these the greatest comedy one-liners ever told?

Lol! I'm all for prioritisation!

The couple above also had this chat.

Him: When I die I'm going to leave everything to you.

Her: You already do you lazy sod.

🤣

Stewardess on long distance flight asks passenger: "would you like dinner sir?" upon which passenger replied: "are there any options?" Stewardess responded: "there are indeed sir-YES OR NO.

a creep calls randomly a woman and says in a lewd voice: "I reckon you go a tight bum"
Woman says :" indeed I have , he is in the living room watching the cricket..who can I say is calling?"

re skinny's 410...
Husband: "think the 2 for 1 pair of dentures should have come with instructions"
Wife: "why ?"
Husband: "reckon of we swap bottom dentures to top and vice versa we actually may look like a happily married couple.."

Request

Anyone selling a hoover, mine is broke and I have a baby.

Reply

You're better off using wet wipes, a hoover won't shift the sticky bits and tends to make them cry.

...works on me!!! I have not bought a hoover 25 years now!! (just the occasional hair dryer..)

The old couple above


Her: You never tell me you love me

Him: I told you once, if anything changes I'll let you know

Interesting marketing ploy of lingerie manufacturers: Memorable lines of pop songs are being printed on both sides of ladies underwear and supposedly are very successful.
Marketing manager still unsure about : "I would do anything for love" on front and "but I won't do that" on back...