It\'s that time of year again when we start thinking about our MoneyAM Xmas Meal. This is a chance for old friends and those who have never met up with other MoneyAM/Shares users to celebrate the festive season. In a change to previous years we have decide to head North and join the North Westerners in what has become a regular fixture in their calender, organised by Ruth, with drinks and a meal in Manchester. All are welcome to come along, but please can you let me know by the 23rd November either by email ian@moneyam.com or post on this thread you are coming. So here are the details: Friday 7th December 2007 19.00 (7.00pm): The Old Monkey Pub, 90-92 Portland Street, Manchester, M1 4GX Nice pub owned by Holts Brewery, short stagger to the Tai Wu. How to find Old Monkey Pub 20.30 (8.30pm): Tai Wu, 44 Oxford St, Manchester, M1 5EJ Very good Cantonese restaurant. We will be eating in the Lower Ground Floor Buffet Restaurant. Cost will be 11.50 per head plus drinks payable on the night in CASH please.Tai Wu Buffet menu How to find the Tai Wu There\'s a secure NCP car park above the restaurant which can be entered from Great Bridgewater Street.

Attendees

Ruth Bullshare Martini IanT Steph Graham ptholden chocolat CC John Gaynor HelenW Big Ron Bakko Harlosh

It's Grim Up North!
Relocating in Northern England is good for business; lots of the starving unemployed eager to work for a pittance of pay and daring not to complain or they'll be out on the street with their dozens of screaming bairns, and their benefits cut for six months.
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Are they 'as much use as a chocolate teapot' when it comes to the complexities of modern technology?
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Ow do youth, 'ows tha bin?
A mun tell thee that t'clever sods 'ere at Hardwick and Granville 'ave cum oop wi this reet grand gubbins wot can 'elp thee a treet.
Its sorta like this great whopping oojah wi' flashing lights an' knobs on an' all wot can do thee addin up faster than thar can spit on a whippet. An' that's saying summat!
If tha wants a skeg then get thee arse over t' Wool Exchange on Mundy where wil be showing t'bugga off.
If thars a jammy sod then 'appen thar'l even win a prize, so who sez tha dunt get owt for nowt in this world?!
Ah'll sithee then youth,

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Bloke wot does t'marketing

At a touch of a key Northern Word can convert it into proper English.

Et Voil
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Skinny,
it is grim up north i agree and i live here:-)its very grim,
but its what u make of it,:-) and we certainly know how to have a good time up here, :-)

Actually Ruth - the post didn't work, it should have had all the northern 'Word' menus etc - I'll try and sort it later. I must admit that a lot of my long term mates are from north of Watford :-)

This from an area of the country whose greatest offerings appear to be jellied eels and the incomprehensible "eastenders"!! The speakers of estuary English, and the home of the Essex girl. From people who live in the North or East of the capital and insist they are going "up the westend"!!
A race so subservient to their masters they are prepared to pay yet another tax to use roads that are frankly undrivable and employ barmen incapable of tightening the sparkler on a beer pump. Whose greatest architectural legacy in recent years are a wobbly bridge, a big wheel, a semi inflated dome shaped tent and a gherkin!!
A place where one has "made it" when one can afford a cupboard with a bed settee in an old warehouse and a visit to the countryside means going to a city park to breathe diesel fumes and catch HN51 from the pigeons.
You're right. We in the North miss it all very much.
How do we cope, earning 20 a week less in an area where everything I buy is so much cheaper. How do we manage having the Dales, pennines, Peaks and Lakes on our doorstep. How are we not starving having given the world roast Beef and yorkshire Pudding. How can we look at ourselves in the face when we have retained our own identity and local accent, rather than adopting some kind of language that is a feral mix of european and Chav.
We are profoundly jealous of Southern superiority.
;-)
Alan

Alan - must agree on the beer pump sparklet (sparkler?) :-)

...Actually it's called "Ale" old beams -):

Alan - you can actually live in the South without living in London. We do have nice countryside, towns and villages, pubs with real ale, etc.

Well if we're going to be like that...........................
Skinnys post does say;
Proper English; Et Voila !!!????
It also has the Northern guy typing Youth, whereas anyone who has listened to our Southern cousins knows the correct pronunciation is "yoof", yet the wonder program failed to pick this up.
2 errors in a simple translation. Must have been designed by a southerner. ;-)

I know, Isaacs, but its great fun, isn't it???
Anyway, I didn't start it. i'd be much happier ripping the pi55 out of Manchester.
That really could unite the masses!!

The link to the Northern version of Word http://www.avolites.org.uk/jokes/northerners.doc

"We do have nice countryside, towns and villages, pubs with real ale, etc."

Yes that's all right but nearly all of the conversation (assuming that you can get any out of them ) mainly revolves around House prices, do-it-yourself and work.

Anyway there are a few of us soft southerners coming up North for the Xmas meal , so be nice to us ;-)

Hils - you got that right. ;-)) A bit like all those ruskie fans Chelsea have these days. Perhaps they're forced to go as the alternative may be a trip to the Gulag. ;-))))))))))

Nice as cream pie without the pies, Mikey ;)

If you look at the whole UK including the Shetlands, Newcastle may be the middle (centre point north/south) of the country.. So Newcastle is in the midlands, Manchester is in the south and Wallsend (Hadrian's wall on the north sea) is just in the north of the UK. H

If you want to stretch a point, wouldn't the Falklands be the most southerly part of the UK.

I think the Falklands, like the Channel Isles are not part of the UK, although they are British. I think the most southerly part of the UK administation area are the Scilly Isles. H

Talking about the Channel Isles S, I was interested to be informed that the policing is the responsibility of the Hampshire constabulary...without going off topic of course -):

I will be spending that weekend in some far flung place as it clashes with a family wedding and I'm committed to spending pretty much the entire weekend with 'em.

The wedding party is on the Saturday night at some dive called 'The Midland Hotel' and the northern flat-capped whippet-racing chips-and-gravy-eating mob that my cousin is marrying into can't even pronounce the word 'cousin', let alone 'bath' or 'grass'.

... may sneak out for an hour or two and join u guys for a drink.

G

Gausie,:-) the midland is one of the better hotels in manchester,youll be ok, just make sure you have those locking wheel nuts on:-)