Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

That a knife in his hand then? Think he swallowed 'em.

morning chocolat. i didn't think you did daytimes.

I'm bored - so here is one to bring a smile.

keA bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "sorry do you know me?"

She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children"

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, Christ! he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my a*se?"


"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher"

Baza

Oh they let me out in the day sometimes bos

Thanks Baza (aka Jim Daividson)

lol

Nam

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.

The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

chocolat, do you like cream in the daytime too or do you see cream making as a nocturnal activity?

As all cream lovers know, it's good any time, bos.

I can hear Finbarr Saunders spinning in his grave.

Choc, try zchocolat.com mmmm.

Nam

pineapples....laugh! lol

it's the kumquats you should steer clear of (excuse poor grammar!)

Nam

NO !!!

and watermelons

Point(s) taken. Not!

Nam

Disappointed, Jimmy.
Wheres the beach? I always look forward to the beach.
Alan

It's just beyond that tree alan, use your imagination with these pictures ,,everyone else does :-) .Even chocolat !

Don't be so churlish Alan.

A bird and a bush behind - what more could any self-respecting lech ask for?

Nam

oh! my god jimmy, where the hell did you find that photo. Thats me a few years ago.They promised me all my photo's were distroyed.
H

Ha jimmy - so why the long face?