CLOSED - THANKS to all customers for the last few years

Me too.

One lump or two Socs?

(Zooooooooooooooooom) I must be doing at least 90mph down this hill. Oh, oh! There's the river. If I could just lean over enough to get me round that last bend and not clip the curb, I should be alright. It's uphill again after that. (Lean, screechy tyres, slither) Gulp. I'm nearly round it! Yessss, I've done it! (clip) Noooooo! Ayeeeeee! (Splash, sink like a stone).Phfft, spffff, gasp, made it the bank. But the bike's gone. (Deep gloom)

I'll get this fella with a rowing boat to row me back out, see if I can locate the bike. Excuse me, can you row me to the middle. Oh, why not?, I'll pay you know. What's that? Someone's stole your rowlocks? Oh, that's bad luck.

(Splosh, splosh) Morning. Coffee and a Danish please. Here you are KEAYDIAN, brake blocks, err, I took them off the bike because it's having a wash at the moment, didn't want to get them wet.

Awfully kind of you old bean.

Hope the bike is ready for my 1pm bike ride today.

(Sweat) 1pm, gulp, y-yes, I'm sure it'll be dry by then. Err, maybe it won't be safe to ride around the cafe then though. I think the floors are going to be washed ready for when the carpet goes back down? I, er...I'm just popping out for a while....

(calls after him)

1 hour 30 mins, tick tock tick tock.

(At the riverbank earlier......) I see you fishermen aren't having much luck! Well, I know just the spot for the best fishing on this river. Yes...follow me. OK guys, here we are. There are some huge ones in this area as big as this .....--------.....! Only thing is, they tend to be down at the bottom so you'll need to weight your lines.

How's it going? Well.....don't give up, a bit more weight maybe?

Yes, look...that fella over there seems to have a really big one. Hey, yes! Keep pulling! A bike? Well d'you know, I just happen to know the chap who's lost it. I'll take it to him. Keep up the fishing....bye!

(Scrub, scrub, polish polish) Mm, soon be good as new; oh, was that dent there before, and that scratch? Oh heck, I'm sure there's a piece missing there.

(Fumble, fumble) This bit goes here and this bit goes here....er, no, there...er, or is it here? Oh no, it's 1 o'clock, that'll have to do!

Can I borrow the meat clever please Socs?................Kim, kim where are you?

Um, er, just outside KEAYDIAN, admiring the bike. Haha! Errrr......look how it shines in the sunlight! What a beautiful piece of engineering.

Note how my cleaver catches the afternoon sunshine.

Yyyyes, nice isn't it?! Um, shall I look after it whilst you enjoy a ride on your shiny bike?

Very kind of you, I'll be back after my ride.

Bye, enjoy!! Quick hide this cleaver somewhere! I'm just going for a quick jog.

(pedal pedal pedal)

Phew, this hill is taking some beating. I'll try another gear......(crunch) eh!

(Puff, pant, gasp) This hill's steep. Oh, oh, that's KEAYDIAN, he's got his bike upside down looking at the gears. I've horrible feeling that the cog I found on the floor wasn't a spare one.

Hmmm, here comes one of those joggers, they might be able to lend a hand.

Damn! He's seen me! I'll try a bit of bluff. KEAYDIAN! Having a problem? I don't know if it's of any use but I found this cog on the floor; could be off your bike. You must have been riding so fast that it fell off. I'll bet nobody can ride as fast as you!