OK temporary accomodation for us ex-pats of Spacie's coffee house that is sadly now boarded up and in memory of Goldie's old pad the tearooms.

No fancy stuff, as this is temporary until we find a nice new place but it's warm down here with the fire and aga and I've organised a daily guinness, lager and wine delivery. There is a small kitchen in the corner and a few comfy cosy armchairs.

So feel free to take refuge when you need a break - self-service generally I'm afraid but when I can I'll rustle up a meal :>)

Um, tastes a bit like floorwash. You did empty the bucket first?

Of course I did, it looked clean enough. Now it has set solid, like concrete but harder.

Ooer! I can't get it out of the bucket!

Cornflakes?

I'll use a bit of dymanite, that'll shift it.

Erm, well........ok, I'll just get my hard hat.

Listen for the "BNAG"!

Have you got some dodgy dynamite?

Slightly dodgy.

It'll be an innocuous "BNAG" then. I'll leave my hard hat off.

Quite a quiet BNAG. The bucket is now flat and the porridge is still in a big bucket shaped lump. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

I've got a saw; any use?

No I don't think so, I'll just stick it on the rockery, no one will notice.

(The salon doors swing open and the familiar heavy footsteps enter the Basement)

oooohhh ello.....I'm back from my Hols

Hellllllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooo.

SHOP!

ANYONE!

Hello tumble weed, what are you doing here? No, don't go.......

Oh, the tumbleweed was just blown away by your hospitality.

Oops, nearly forgot to put the bins out this morning, had to chase the wagon down the road. That's my exercise for the day, back to sleep.

Very quiet today here, has everyone gone on holiday?

Anyone at home?

Any chance of a large glass of Cabernet?

Barman on hols