Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).
Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.
FOOL everyone into thinking you have just eaten an apple by rubbing your tummy and saying loudly "Mmm! That was a lovely apple."
WOMEN Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't give a shit anyway and you could use the saved energy to hoover the house after you've been banged.
Well I do hope you do come every time you have sex bos cos if you were not there your bird would be pretty lonely!! Its good of you to turn up for such an important occasion. Your a top bloke.....
WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.
HOME decorators. Use a roller in each hand and halve your painting time.
BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching
ONE ARMED men. If your partner is thinking about getting breast implants, convince her to save money and only get one done.