Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

You wear a bra, Doc??!!??

all men should know about this sort of thing, as well as what is sexy but tasteful (and comfortable!) lingerie
Used to be that a t shirt and underpants was considered comfortable. How times have changed. I reckon you live on the wrong side of the river C.
I blame ma cherie for bringing up all this sex stuff. She has been embedded with the frogs for too long.

Frogs? I was wondering what to have for dinner tonight. Thanks for the legs up, iturama.

Only on a Thursday night, ma cherie.

(ie. After we've watched 'Billions' and which unfortunately, has just finished its third season)

https://variety.com/2018/tv/news/billions-renewed-season-4-showtime-1202788531/

I warrant those lips kissed many a frog before you found your prince.

Those lips being French (by the looks and colour of them) would more likely have eaten a good number of frogs legs and I dare say would have had almost as much pleasure as any other French Kisser would have given.

Hils,

Those lips were very provocative.

Were they taken from a selfie by yourself during a gothic period?

Indeed, Fred, but you should know that I just Googled 'rouge à lèvres cerise noire', and linked to one of the images.

:o)

A case of "je t'aime moi non plus" it seems.....

Great news!

The types of products with microbeads you will no longer be able to buy from today

A ban on the sale of products including face scrubs and toothpastes that contain plastic “microbeads” comes into force today.

The ban on the sale of rinse-off cosmetics and personal care products which contain the tiny pieces of plastic comes as part of efforts to prevent them being washed down the drain and ending up in rivers and the seas.

Products affected by the ban range from face scrubs and soaps to shower gels and toothpaste. ‘This is by no means the end in our fight’

The Government said a single shower can send 100,000 microbeads down drains to the sea where they can be eaten and absorbed by marine life, and the ban will prevent billions of the plastic pieces ending up in the oceans each year.

Environment Secretary Michael Gove said: “Microbeads might be tiny, but they are lethal to sea creatures and entirely unnecessary. “We have led the way in banning these toxic pieces of plastic, but this is by no means the end in our fight. “We will now press ahead with our proposals for a deposit return scheme and ban other damaging plastic such as straws.”

The manufacture of products containing microbeads was banned in January. The ban on sales comes into force in England and Scotland today, while Wales and Northern Ireland are on track to introduce it by the autumn.

These are some of the products that contain microbeads:

Abrasive cleaning products
Many household cleaning products can contain microbeads to add coarseness to strong chemical sprays.

Anti-ageing cream
To make creams smooth in texture, smaller microbeads are used. Sphericity and particle size uniformity create a silky consistency and increases spreadability.

Exfoliating cream
Larger microbeads have been touted by cosmetics companies as exfoliators. They have been used to scrub the body clean and remove dead skin cells to produce a “feel good factor” after use.

Facial cleanser
Similar to soaps, facial scrubs and creams are another big culprit of microbead use. Whether they are used to lubricate the product or to add extra exfoliating power, a tube of facial cleanser can contain as many as 330,000 microbeads.

Hand soap
Microbeads are used in soapy cleansing products to add texture and make the products more efficient. Over-the-counter drugs As well as their exfoliating qualities, microbeads can also be used to lubricate over-the-counter drugs, making them easy to swallow.

Peeling products Microbeads can be used in chemical peels to aid spreadability and ensure that users can cover all areas of the skin without breaks.

Shower gel Depending on their size and uniformity, microbeads can be used to add coarseness to a product, make it silky smooth, or make it easily spreadable. A typical exfoliating shower gel may have as much plastic in it in microbead form as its plastic container.

Sunscreen
Rounder uniform microbeads are used in sunscreen to make it easier to spread across the skin, ensuring the user doesn’t miss any spots.

Toothpaste Microbeads can be used to smoothen toothpaste or to give extra scrubbing power. They can also be used in different colours to brighten up toothpastes, making them more visually appealing.

Exec,

You may be in trouble without your antiageing and exfoliating creams and facial cleanser.


The girls will stop whistling at you.

Nice to see they're not messing about with bum cream, eh?

You use that for the Chalfonts, Doc?

:o)

Not sure yet, Hils. I'll ask me cows and kisses to have a butchers.



Top 100 Cockney Rhyming Slang Words and Phrases:

Adam and Eve – believe
Alan Whickers – knickers
apples and pears – stairs
Artful Dodger – lodger
Ascot Races – braces
Aunt Joanna – piano
Baked Bean – Queen
Baker’s Dozen – Cousin
Ball and Chalk – Walk
Barnaby Rudge – Judge
Barnet Fair – hair
Barney Rubble – trouble
Battlecruiser – boozer
bees and honey – money
bird lime – time (in prison)
Boat Race – face
Bob Hope – soap
bottle and glass – arse
Brahms and Liszt – pissed (drunk)
Brass Tacks – facts
Bread and Cheese – sneeze
Bread and Honey – money
Bricks and Mortar – daughter
Bristol City – breasts
Brown Bread – dead
Bubble and Squeak – Greek
Bubble Bath – Laugh
butcher’s hook – a look
Chalfont St. Giles – piles
Chalk Farm – arm
china plate – mate (friend)
Cock and Hen – ten
Cows and Kisses – Missus (wife)
currant bun – son (also The Sun, a British newspaper)
custard and jelly – telly (television)
Daisy Roots – boots
Darby and Joan – moan
Dicky bird – word
Dicky Dirt – shirt
Dinky Doos – shoes
dog and bone – phone
dog’s meat – feet [from early 20th c.]
Duck and Dive – skive
Duke of Kent – rent
dustbin lid – kid
Elephant’s Trunk – drunk
Fireman’s Hose – nose
Flowery Dell – cell
Frog and Toad – road
Gypsy’s kiss – piss
half-inch – pinch (to steal)
Hampton Wick – prick
Hank Marvin – starving
irish pig – wig
Isle of Wight – tights
jam-jar – car
Jayme Gibbs
Jimmy Riddle – piddle
joanna – piano (pronounced ‘pianna’ in Cockney)
Khyber Pass – arse
Kick and Prance – dance
Lady Godiva – fiver
Laugh n a joke – smoke
Lionel Blairs – flares
Loaf of Bread – head
loop the loop – soup
Mickey Bliss – piss
Mince Pies – eyes
Mork and Mindy – windy’
north and south – mouth
Orchestra stalls – balls
Pat and Mick – sick
Peckham Rye – tie
plates of meat – feet
Pony and Trap – crap
raspberry ripple – nipple
raspberry tart – fart
Roast Pork – fork
Rosy Lee – tea (drink)
Round the Houses – trousers
Rub-a-Dub – pub
Ruby Murray – curry
Sausage Roll – goal
septic tank – Yank
sherbert (short for sherbert dab) – cab (taxi)
Skin and Blister – sister
Sky Rocket – pocket
Sweeney Todd – flying squad
syrup of figs – wig (sic)
tables and chairs – stairs
tea leaf – thief
Todd Sloane – alone
Tom and Dick – sick
tom tit – shit
tomfoolery – jewellery
Tommy Trinder – window
trouble and strife – wife
two and eight – state (of upset)
Vera Lynn – gin
whistle and flute – suit (of clothes)

bristol city is usually shortened to bristols
on your own is on your tod(d)
a curry is just a ruby ...... and so on and so on

and cough, excuse me ....
currant bun is SON not sun

the above must be a list for the americans so they can play at being cockneys

Thanks, me old china. Have duly edited currant bun.

there's so much wrong in that list, it's just ridiculous

The best cockney talker was I think Kenneth Williams....used to go from posh to cockney and back again.....insanely funny....

Boris lying in front of a bulldozer?

No chance.

He is unprincipled and would lie in front of anything.

But an admirable foreign secretary representing his party.

.