Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Cheers Hays so we could end up voting again in June.

Just in case you haven't voted yet or are still making up your mind:



The "Al Murray 13-point Common Sense Action Plan"

• The pound in your pocket
The pound will be revalued at one pound 10p, so it will now be worth 10p more. Common sense.

• The NHS
If you come to A&E and it's neither an accident nor an emergency then you will be sent to a random hospital department to be practised on. Common sense.

• Foreign Policy
Germany has been too quiet for too long. Just saying.

• Immigration
Of course the reason they are coming here is because this is the greatest country in the world. The only way to stop them is for a government to change that and make things a whole lot worse. Look no further. However, in the meantime, we brick up the Channel Tunnel. With British bricks. Probably have to get some Poles in to do it. Common sense.

• Education
I believe the children are the future and there's no way you'll get me knocking teachers. Teachers are on the front line, coalface. Doing their bit to create a level playing field for our kids, although I'm not sure they're going about it the right way by making sure none of the kids can read and write. So instead of a postcode lottery a new improved Street Raffle will determine which schools your kids get into. Common sense.

• Scotland
Alex Salmond to be made First Minister for Norwich, so he can get to understand what being ignored by the rest of the country is really like. Common sense.

• Europe
I pledge that the UK will leave Europe by 2025 and the edge of the Solar System by 2050. Common market sense. In the meantime Greece to be bought and operated by Kent County Council. Couldn't be worse. Someone to do the bins at least.

• The environment
Boris Johnson to be put on an island. He keeps saying that's what he wants.

• Corporations and Globalisation
Blah blah blah blah blah paradigm blah blah blah, blah blah dialectic blah blah blah blah blah blah game-changer.

• Homes for hard working families
Build some houses but without bringing down house prices. How hard can it be?

• Defence
National Service, but only for people who don't want to do it.

• Law and Order
Unemployment causes crime: I propose to lock up the unemployed. Common sense.

• On Local issues

South Thanet to be made the new capital of the UK. Demilitarised zone to set up between North and South Thanet.

• In Summary

We are not just offering you a moon on a stick. We are offering you a British Moon on a British Stick.

Best odds next PM

Cam 10/11
Ed 11/10

Next government

Lab minority 2/1
Con/Lib coalition 5/2


Odds still swinging in favour of the Tories.

Dil
No. Because of the delays in organising elections, it would almost certainly be in the autumn.

We're all doomed.

Can't put up with another 5 months of this b*llox , they should have a penalty shoot out or something.

NO MATTER WHO YOU VOTE FOR - " THE GOVERNMENT STILL GET IN " - This time eventually

Cannabis is better for you than Alcohol party are looking my best option.

cynic yes yes yes they should not be here . close the borders . any one can drive a taxi and we have more than enough young on the dole to be nurses . and can not get trained because we pay to much money in benefits and over sea aid

put them on a boat or a plane

I expect they get housing benefits free nhs dental and the rest
that is why the nhs is in trouble to many immigrants using the services and never paid in to the system it takes years to pay enough in to secure benefits not months
as I have post many times as some one who does go abroad a lot you can not get
a doctor unless you pay him not interested in nhs card its worthless
yet they come here and get every thing for free it can not go on

vote ukip

you really do talk a load of rubbish

so what about me?
i don't have any qualifications at all and all 4 of my grandparents were emigrants

Just been on Betfair predicts and for my constituency it's :

Lab 89.4%
Con 0.9%
Lib 0.9%
Oth 0.9%
UKIP 7.8%

It really is a waste of time voting here.

unusual for any candidate to get even 60% of the vote
i wonder what % even MrsT got in her prime

A penalty shootout would be good! It would be quite something watching Miliband trying to kick a ball or even getting his foot close enough.

both leaders and several of their henchmen would put their feet in their mouths instead of kicking the ball

You can bet on the first leader to resign. I like that one.

I think the potential Labour Party 'First Lady' might need a bit of a 'make over'.

Pity Ed spent around £30,000 on his tablet of stone. He could have bought his lady 30 phenominal 'hair do's' and 30 phenominal new frocks.

But that's Labour's priority on spending money for you.....

she needs a decent stylist and then some!
looks as though she's taken a job lot from oxfam .... what a mess

EM's suit is pretty shoddy too
he could certainly take lessons from NF

Clothes Choice Rules

There is basically only one rule but here are two:

1. Always buy and wear clothes in which you look good in.
2. Do not buy clothes and wear clothes which you like the look of but which do not look good on you.

The general idea to aim for when someone meets you, is that they say: "You do look well."

The general idea is that they do not say: "I like your dress. It's lovely."

If you look at Ed's lady's face and figure, then she does have a lot of potential to look a hell of a lot smarter and thus make him and herself look more 'politically' successful.

The same sort of thing is comparable to the fact, that you don't really want your financial adviser to come round to see you in an old banger. You almost want him to come round to see you, wearing a £2-5k suit and driving a Bentley. Well, sorta kinda...

i'm afraid she has everything but everything wrong, from colour(s!) to fit to style to hair to make-up
a walking disaster

if her husband ever gets to take any sort of senior political office where she has to present herself to opposite numbers in overseas gov't, you can bet your bottom dollar that the stylists will grab her and sort her out pdq