Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Yeah, Yeah. Lester Piggots cell mate.

A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years.

As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years.


I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction.


This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck! He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom.

Be strong, honey, I love you, too."

A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife:

"I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"

The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter:

"Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! That is where I hid all the gold."

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:

"You wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the whole back garden."

The prisoner wrote another letter:

"Dear wife, NOW is the best time to plant the lettuce!"

Wilbs
Good luck for tomorrow, you will be OK even if you do get sent down.

Thanks driver,
which one is Al?

this one

why is my bloody pic not coming up?
http://www.taclug.org/albums/fun_with_gimp/chuckmebabyonemoretime.jpg

Hes a hansome bugger!!



Im off out for a nice cold pint of stella. Women and beer, 2 things I will miss, oh, and of course you lot of nutters!!

Good luck wilbs

Thanks chocolat. That was the best pint of stella ive ever tasted.
Thanks everyone.
wilbs

GF,Just waiting for a dvd to copy before bed and saw you about so......Have you looked into Mediwatch (MDW) and if so your opinion would be helpfull.If you have'nt i'll let you dyor so as not to bore you with info.-lol

good luck wilbs, and thanks for getting that pic up. it's exactly how i imagine alan!!!!!

I'm thinking of Wilbs and wishing him well---good luck W.

I,m sure wilbs is fine .

Im free!!!!!! Well till november till my trial at crown court.
Thanks for the kind words and the jokes. It means alot to know that theres a bunch of nutters out there thinking of me!!!

whey hey!!! 3 cheers for wilbs!!!! hip hip.

HOORAY!!

HOORAY!!

Well done-glad you're back until Nov then! What a waste of taxpayers money the real crims get a slap on the wrist--Wilbs isn't there some politically correct reason you can use to get out of it--think of something by November?

For the second time in a week, good to see you are okay wilbs. I am now trawling the old news stories for a list of the lawyers Michael Jackson had, to employ them for you. I am chipping in to pay for them with 23 old PCM shares I have lying around. Anyone want to contribute?!!!
Alan