Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Lovers of the English language will enjoy this as an example of why people learning English have so much trouble.


This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word. The word is 'UP.'

It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning directed toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election? Why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses....

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special!
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about the word UP !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways in which UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, the earth soaks the moisture UP . When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP.



One could go on & on, but I'll wrap this UP for now because my time is UP !

If you like, send this to everyone you look UP in your address book ... it's UP to you.

Now I think I'll shut UP.

What about down ? down below , feeling down , down right bad , down town , down and out

Whitehall cuts 3bn from office supplies bill after damning report by Sir Philip Green

All the time [ was it 13 year's ? seemed much longer ] Labour was in government and they never spotted this waste of tax payers money. And we now know how much was wasted on MOD contract's as well and the billion's wasted on computer system's for the NHS and other government department's.

You missed out two of the most commonest uses, 'Hey Up' and 'Wass-up'.
I think we should forget queens English and all speak 'Proper Yorkshire' like what we do'.
But don't you just love the different dialects of this country.

Aldwickk,

They coud even have spotted it, but no one wanted to rock the boat. Shows though just how poor governments are at monetary control. If they only ran our country as you would a business. Mind you how many would last in business.

Up your's ..... lol

The Banking Crisis simply explained...

Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for 100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day...

The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey's died.'

Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'

Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'

Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'


Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'

Paddy said, 'I raffled him off.


I sold 500 tickets at two euro apiece and made a profit of 898'


The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won.

So I gave him his two euros back.'

Paddy is now a manager with the Royal Bank of Scotland.

Is that a true story ?

This is me,

Excellent laugh to start the day off.

Aldwickk,

I wish you wouldn't post such comments. I was sure it was a joke when I first read it. After seeing your post I'm now not so sure.

If you want some good laughs re the banking system, look at Bird and Fortune, http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rlz=1G1GGLQ_ENUK367&q=bird+%26+fortune+subprime+crisis&aq=0&aqi=g1&aql=&oq=Bird+%26+Fortune+&gs_rfai=

Greekman

I was joking

I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night. He hypnotized 7 blokes then dropped the mike on his foot & said "Fuck me".
What happened next will haunt me forever.

Good one Bos , i like those one liner's

Aldwickk,

I did realise, honest.

Here are two videos of snow on a steep bank at the seaside near where I live. The first one is of someone losing control of their car and having an accident on a steep hill - and it is seriously difficult to negotiate this hill.

Car crash Saltburn bank

The second one shows how a bus driver managed the bank - you can see the car from the earlier accident later in the video:

How to get up Saltburn bank

Anyone out there know a good cool B/B in Qatar for 2022? -):

Cameron fails to get the World Cup.

Another foot forward and two back.

Who needs catarrh anyhow?

Find everything you need to know about Catarrh including causes, symptoms, diagnosis and treatment, with links to other useful resources:

Usually found in the nose or throat but can also occur in other places

.

The Spainish show how it should be done!

Hi This is me,

This bloke got what he deserved. He won't do that again.
When I was in a Tactical Unit, we were instructed that, 'Under no circumstances were we to use a 'stinger' device on a 2 wheeled vehicle, due to the probability of causing injury/death to the rider nor should we ram a 2 wheeled vehicle. When I queried this, giving a scenario of.....A person who has committed a shooting, killing several people, gets away on a motorcycle. He rides down the road, continuing his killing spree, (say similar to the Cumbria shooting 12 dead) surely we would be able to use the stinger.
I was told that as Home Office Rules stated, under no circumstances, that means under no circumstances.
After in a unit discussion, I told my team that if the circumstances required it, I would not hesitate in using whatever means I felt were required. If a stinger or/and pulling a car across a 2 wheel vehicles path was Minimum Force, thats what I would use.
Most top bosses who I worked with were wimps who towed the political/correct line, whilst many lower ranking bosses who could not get further in their careers had bottle.
It is the same in the Armed Forces. That is often why those with bottle who get on with the job, very rarely gain a high promotion, leaving the 'Yes' men to reach the dizzy heights of command.
Some of the best 'ground' leaders I have ever worked with were turned down for promotion, because they, Thought for themselves, putting the general publics safety/wellbeing without thinking, Will this effect my promotion prospects.