Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Russia have announced ScrewFix as their main sponsor for the World Cup

Perhaps, they will have Cameron on "Strictly" instead.

He has knows the foot movements and certainly can do a quick reverse step.

Might even get a few more votes than he got recently for the World Cup.

He could take the "Oik" in a tutu as a partner.

BATTING never used to be this much fun against an Australian team.
In the unlikely event that you managed to stave off Glenn McGrath, Shane Warne would bowl you one that looped the loop and whistled Waltzing Matilda before rattling into your stumps.

If any extra intimidation was required, you could be pretty certain of finding the large koala attached to Merv Hughes' upper lip underneath your helmet visor, from which would emerge the kind of lyrics you can be fairly sure were not supplied by ABC radio's guest commentator at the weekend, Tim Rice.

Now they haven't got anybody capable of bowling two consecutive balls at off-stump, they've used nine specialist spinners -- all of them, to varying degrees, useless -- since Warne's retirement and it was more amusing than intimidating to see Doug "The Rug" Bollinger giving Jonathan Trott a few choice words. Trott offered him an amused smile by way of reply and, possibly, a wry: "Now, now, Dougie, keep your hair on."

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.End of sidebar. Return to start of sidebar.
So how is it that Australia has managed to go from ruthless to toothless in such a relatively short time? The answer is that the entire country has gone soft.

There was a time in Australia when men were men and the remedy for running out of provisions in the outback was to grab a saltwater crocodile by the tail and have it skinned and on the barbie before the billy had time to boil.

Nowadays, the Australian government has made them so frightened to do anything risky, they would run a mile if the crocodile in question was formed by a chaperoned outing of schoolgirls.

There is a sign at a golf club in Adelaide, just above the compressed-air machine for cleaning shoes, that reads: "Beware of Serious Injury Or Death." It goes on to list four ways of terminating your existence, including using the machine as a head cleaner or to play practical jokes. It's just as well the sign is there, otherwise you'd never have realised blowing bunker sand out of your hair or sticking the nozzle up the lady captain's skirt was such a dangerous business.

Everywhere you go here, you see warnings that clearly indicate the Australian government's firm belief that its citizens are mentally retarded, hence the sign in the Gabba during the Brisbane Test that read: "Ensure Seat is in Position Before Sitting." Mmm, you thought. Thanks for the warning. I'd never have bothered to check.

The Gabba has a track record. In 2006, it not only banned the Barmy Army's trumpeter but evicted another spectator for having a sneezing fit. This was because of the risk he might spread a contagious disease. He was allowed back only once he'd met the re-entry condition of remaining sneeze-free for half an hour.

The Adelaide Test began at 10.30am local time on Friday and by 10.32, Australia were 2 for 0. Countless people missed it, mainly those who weren't about to risk getting an on-the-spot fine for crossing the road without permission from a little green man.

It's hard to believe this kind of thing hasn't had some effect in making the opposition less nervous when playing the men in the baggy green caps.

Whereas a batsman once saw a mean, aggressive fast bowler steaming in at him, he now sees a bloke with a wig who daren't cross a road without the assistance of a lollipop lady or sit down without first ensuring his seat is in the correct position

Exec - There was a loud cheer in our house when Widdicombe went. Mainly from me :-)

:-)

Whats happening to our Post Office delivery people.
Although our village has seen about 2' of snow over the last 12 days, it has still seen the Milkman (every day) along with several other local delivery people a few times.
The Village shop has managed to receive it's newspapers without a miss, although they have understandably, been late a couple of times.
Even our elderly residents have succeeded, since last Thursday to make the bus stop to catch one of the 2 daily busses to our nearest small town and back, where the main post office is situated.
But our post. Not a sign.
Over the many years I have lived here, we have been snowed in many times, but I have never known the Royal Mail not deliver for anywhere near as long.
I wonder if the Health and Safety lot at the Royal Mail have decided that it is too risky. I can't think of any other reason.
I have e-mailed them for a response. Be interesting to see how they reply.

Greekman - can you see if they know why most state schools closed for so long as well especially when lots of private ones remained open. Might be a similar reason.

One of the main reasons for state schools closing in snow isn't to do with H&S as many might think.

Instead it's to do with there being a high level of unauthorised absenteeism from students who can't make it to school because of the bad weather. The level of absenteeism not only reflects badly within Ofsted reports, but schools have to tack on extra days at the end of terms if it gets too high.

If, on the other hand, they shut their doors completely, there will be NO unauthorised absenteeism ........

Isaacs,

State schools do not tend to loose pupils, whereas private fee paying schools could.
I also feel Hilary has got a very good point.

Hilary,

How cynical can you get. I do though believe you have hit the nail on the head.
I have seen many Head Teachers on the TV proclaiming that they have shut due to insufficient teachers being able to get in.
Rubbish. Presumably the percentage of teachers being able to get to their schools is about equal to the percentage of pupils. So if a third of teachers cant make it, then it stands to reason that a third of pupils cant.
Surely then lessons could have gone ahead with a bit of shuffling around.
The stupidest excuse I heard was from one Head Teacher who stated that his school had shut in case pupils had slipped, injuring themselves on their way to the school.
Presumably these same children would not have then played outside on sledges, skates or other 'dangerous playthings'.

Private school's have boarder's

Plenty of private schools have no boarders and the kids still get to school. It may be that the parents regard education more important than many of the sytate school parents. One of my kids goes to a private school and one went to a state school (now at a sixth form college). The schools were fairly near each other. The private school had a very wide catchment area and not specifically children living near to the school. The state school had a pretty tight catchment rea and none of the kids travelled any distance. Last winter the private school did not close once and almost all the kids got there. The state school closed several times and even when it was open quite a few children did not make it in. The same is true of the teachers. The private school has teachers coming from a long way off (30 to 40 miles). Almost all the teachers made it in. The state school had less than half on snow days.

Isaacs

"if they know why most state schools closed for so long as well especially when lots of private ones remained open. Might be a similar reason."

Haystacks,

Perhaps, the real reason as suggested is that the Private schools' pupils are incarcerated in them, or that the parents can't stand the presence of the kids any longer and forceof their offspring to go to the various institutions.

=========

Nice to see Clarke is back tracking on tory "law and order policies" and allowing the inmates out.

Mind Cameron did say he was the "law and order" party, so we should have expected the reversal of his "law and disorder" policies and undertakings.

One foot forward and guess where the next one is going.


I hear some of the "blue rinse brigade" have turned grey and demanding their money back.


==========


As I wrote previously, the new tory policy on "Students grants" was/is the equivalent to Maggie Poll or Pole Tax policy.

The governing party seems split on its major policies once again.

Bring back Cameron, or should we say David Davis. (Where did we leave the knives.)

PS.

Mind, I am sure Hilary is looking forward to paying tuition fees for Cambridge in a few years time.

I'll just cover my kids' fees up front, Flintstone. There's no point whatsoever in taking out one of those silly student loan things and paying more than necessary to the state. Unless you're volunteering to cover them, of course.

That's even if Balliol is in Oxford, not Cambridge.

Hilary.

Is it.

Oh hard luck.

==========


Not volunteering.

Can't even afford Xmas presents this year.
=====

G. might help you out.

PS.

Though it was Ballyall.

Been informed by a postman from our nearest town, that they have been told that if there is a possibility of slipping on snow/ice they are not to deliver, re the old Elf and Safety.
Be nice to see what the official Post Office party line is when/if they reply to my E-Mail.
Both milkman and dustbin men made it today, no problem.

I wonder what they are putting in your milk?

Any thrill-seeking adventurers out there, that want to earn a few quid for charity?

http://www.maginternational.org/supportmag/abseil/national-lift-tower-abseil/

If you were a teacher in a state school would you A live near the school or B risk your car to get in to suffer a day's abuse?