Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

The coalition is fine Vince Cable will stay a Minister as he could do more damage outside the cabinet than in it. You must expect tensions bewteeen the parties. The Liberals don't like all the Conservative policies, but then Cameron did get the biggest number of seats so it was always going to be mainly his policies plus a few Liberal ones.

.

Recipe:

Take one large Turkey from Iceland deep fry in Greece, serve with Chile on China plates to the Hungary. Look for the UKIP Brussels sprouts as the other varieties are all definately rotten.

.

Too big for the plate.

One winter morning a husband and wife were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer Say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snowploughs can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the Snowploughs can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the Snowploughs can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."

I would put this on the joke thread, problem is it is true.
Humberside Police (who a few years ago employed a resident force poet, to bring through poetry understanding and peace within the force), has sent out hundreds of specially designed Xmas cards to persistent offenders asking them to behave during the Xmas period, no doubt by First Class post, to make sure they are received by the 25th.
Perhaps so that we can all sleep soundly in our beds they should supply persistent burglars with vouchers for Video/CD players and TV's.
Muggers could be given vouchers for items such as watches/ipods and the like.
Druggies a nice little gift wrapped, wrap of coke or heroin.
This could catch on stopping crime in its tracks.
Why limit this to Xmas, perhaps other forces could set up a similar year long scheme, that could eventually become a registered charity.
Of course then we could all contribute to this worthy cause, because as we know Police budgets are being cut, and all Police Forces are having to cut their budgets drastically, making savings wherever they can.
Has anyone told Tim Hollis, Humbersides Chief Countable.

An Irishman's tale.

WHY I AM DEPRESSED


Over five thousand years ago Moses said to the children of Israel , "Pick
up your shovels, mount your asses and camels and I will lead you to the
Promised Land"

Nearly 30 years ago, when Charlie Haughey increased welfare he said "Lay
down your shovels, sit on your asses and light up a Camel, this is the
Promised Land"

Now Brian Cowen has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the
price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about the Budget, Health Care
Plans, the Economy, the Wars, Lost Jobs, Savings Plans, Food Quality,
Social Welfare Cuts, Retirement Funds, Pension Levies, Property Tax,
Water Charges, College Fees, Eco/Carbon Tax, IHT, Smart Meters, Delivery
Charges, Insurance Policy Levies, the Banks, Property Developers etc.

I called the Samaritans

Got through to a call centre in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.


They got all excited and asked me if I could fly a jumbo jet.

What can we do?


Maybe we should copy the East Germans - plead for reunification with the rest of the UK

In June 2010, Omar Choudray submitted a dissertation to the University of Cambridge Computer Laboratory, Darwin College, to be considered for the degree of Master of Philosophy in Advanced Computer Science.

The dissertation was entitled "The Smart Card Detective" and various organisations want to ban all access to it.

NOTE: EMV is the dominant protocol used for smart card payments worldwide, with over 730 million cards in circulation.

Known to bank customers as Chip and PIN, it is used in Europe; it is being introduced in Canada; and there is pressure from banks to introduce it in the USA too. EMV secures credit and debit card transactions by authenticating both the card and the customer presenting it through a combination of cryptographic authentication codes, digital signatures, and the entry of a PIN.

The dissertation describes and demonstrates a protocol flaw which allows criminals to use a genuine card to make a payment without knowing the cards PIN, and to remain undetected even when the merchant has an online connection to the banking network. The fraudster performs a man-in-the-middle attack to trick the terminal into believing the PIN verified correctly, while telling the card that no PIN was entered at all.

Above is the link to the full paper. It describes fully, how to make such a device. In the paper it is called a "Smart Card Detective"(SCD). The cost of all components (including two types of LCD and a battery, which is not shown) was around 100. It required about three days of work to assemble the components and wires into the prototype board.

You might like to take a "Copy" of the paper. (Just out of interest, of course, and merely, whilst you still can)

Other more ambitious and criminally minded readers of this paper might like to consider having an 'SCD' made for themselves and even using it for personal illegal gain. (Hence the reason the authorities want access to the paper blocked)

Hmmm? Like some others, it seems to me, that the authorities and banks might be a tadge wrong on this one and might just be codding us along about their security systems, particularly with regard to Chip and PIN technology.

28th Dec 10
UK Card Association wants student thesis blockedby Harry Oldfield

The countrys banking trade body is looking to block a Cambridge University students thesis after it documented widely known flaws in the popular chip-and-pin system.

The UK Cards Associations Melanie Johnson sent a complaint letter to university heads saying that the thesis The Smart Card Detective: a hand-held EMV interceptor, by Omar Choudary, is detrimental to card users and exposed flaws in No-Pin systems. However, the university has argued that the flaws are widely known and have been public for more than a year.

Johnson stated in her letter that the association was concerned that the thesis could damage public confidence in the system. She also said that it was disconcerting that Choudary had tested the device in a shop without giving the owner prior notice.

In order to defend his technology, Choudary had used a local shop to make a transaction using the tool. Johnson said that it worries her that he was able to make false transactions without alerting the proper authorities before hand.

Using this evidence, she has requested that the research be removed from public view. However, Ross Anderson from Cambridge Universitys Computer Laboratory said that a students thesis cannot be censored and that it was a shameless attempt by UK banks to cover up weaknesses within their system.

Where are you on the Happy Index?

Here, Fred.

Have you been there yet?

:-)

Exec: Chip and PIN problem is indeed well known, although arguably difficult for Mr Average to exploit.

In particular, the exploit works with merchant terminals, not with Bank ATMs, and would be of use to the organised criminal using stolen cards. Essentially, PIN verification can be falsified when the verification is performed locally to the terminal.

Here's the definitive paper.

What you may enjoy much more, however, is Ross Anderson's magisterial rebuke to the Banks.

Ross Anderson socks it to the Banks.


The whole thing is something of a mess, and I don't doubt further exploits will be discovered in the fullness of time.

Someone would find it difficult to buy good's online with my card because they would need my card password to make the payment.

I thought that, if you were under sixteen, you weren't permitted a debit or credit card.

Your right

My 14 year old son has a debit card and a bank account from Natwest. He buys things online.

We were wrong

http://www.natwest.com/personal/current-accounts/g1/young-people.ashx

Natwest's details of 11 - 18 accounts including debit cards.