Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Too big for the plate.

One winter morning a husband and wife were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer Say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snowploughs can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the Snowploughs can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the Snowploughs can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."

I would put this on the joke thread, problem is it is true.
Humberside Police (who a few years ago employed a resident force poet, to bring through poetry understanding and peace within the force), has sent out hundreds of specially designed Xmas cards to persistent offenders asking them to behave during the Xmas period, no doubt by First Class post, to make sure they are received by the 25th.
Perhaps so that we can all sleep soundly in our beds they should supply persistent burglars with vouchers for Video/CD players and TV's.
Muggers could be given vouchers for items such as watches/ipods and the like.
Druggies a nice little gift wrapped, wrap of coke or heroin.
This could catch on stopping crime in its tracks.
Why limit this to Xmas, perhaps other forces could set up a similar year long scheme, that could eventually become a registered charity.
Of course then we could all contribute to this worthy cause, because as we know Police budgets are being cut, and all Police Forces are having to cut their budgets drastically, making savings wherever they can.
Has anyone told Tim Hollis, Humbersides Chief Countable.

An Irishman's tale.

WHY I AM DEPRESSED


Over five thousand years ago Moses said to the children of Israel , "Pick
up your shovels, mount your asses and camels and I will lead you to the
Promised Land"

Nearly 30 years ago, when Charlie Haughey increased welfare he said "Lay
down your shovels, sit on your asses and light up a Camel, this is the
Promised Land"

Now Brian Cowen has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the
price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about the Budget, Health Care
Plans, the Economy, the Wars, Lost Jobs, Savings Plans, Food Quality,
Social Welfare Cuts, Retirement Funds, Pension Levies, Property Tax,
Water Charges, College Fees, Eco/Carbon Tax, IHT, Smart Meters, Delivery
Charges, Insurance Policy Levies, the Banks, Property Developers etc.

I called the Samaritans

Got through to a call centre in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.


They got all excited and asked me if I could fly a jumbo jet.

What can we do?


Maybe we should copy the East Germans - plead for reunification with the rest of the UK

In June 2010, Omar Choudray submitted a dissertation to the University of Cambridge Computer Laboratory, Darwin College, to be considered for the degree of Master of Philosophy in Advanced Computer Science.

The dissertation was entitled "The Smart Card Detective" and various organisations want to ban all access to it.

NOTE: EMV is the dominant protocol used for smart card payments worldwide, with over 730 million cards in circulation.

Known to bank customers as Chip and PIN, it is used in Europe; it is being introduced in Canada; and there is pressure from banks to introduce it in the USA too. EMV secures credit and debit card transactions by authenticating both the card and the customer presenting it through a combination of cryptographic authentication codes, digital signatures, and the entry of a PIN.

The dissertation describes and demonstrates a protocol flaw which allows criminals to use a genuine card to make a payment without knowing the cards PIN, and to remain undetected even when the merchant has an online connection to the banking network. The fraudster performs a man-in-the-middle attack to trick the terminal into believing the PIN verified correctly, while telling the card that no PIN was entered at all.

Above is the link to the full paper. It describes fully, how to make such a device. In the paper it is called a "Smart Card Detective"(SCD). The cost of all components (including two types of LCD and a battery, which is not shown) was around 100. It required about three days of work to assemble the components and wires into the prototype board.

You might like to take a "Copy" of the paper. (Just out of interest, of course, and merely, whilst you still can)

Other more ambitious and criminally minded readers of this paper might like to consider having an 'SCD' made for themselves and even using it for personal illegal gain. (Hence the reason the authorities want access to the paper blocked)

Hmmm? Like some others, it seems to me, that the authorities and banks might be a tadge wrong on this one and might just be codding us along about their security systems, particularly with regard to Chip and PIN technology.

28th Dec 10
UK Card Association wants student thesis blockedby Harry Oldfield

The countrys banking trade body is looking to block a Cambridge University students thesis after it documented widely known flaws in the popular chip-and-pin system.

The UK Cards Associations Melanie Johnson sent a complaint letter to university heads saying that the thesis The Smart Card Detective: a hand-held EMV interceptor, by Omar Choudary, is detrimental to card users and exposed flaws in No-Pin systems. However, the university has argued that the flaws are widely known and have been public for more than a year.

Johnson stated in her letter that the association was concerned that the thesis could damage public confidence in the system. She also said that it was disconcerting that Choudary had tested the device in a shop without giving the owner prior notice.

In order to defend his technology, Choudary had used a local shop to make a transaction using the tool. Johnson said that it worries her that he was able to make false transactions without alerting the proper authorities before hand.

Using this evidence, she has requested that the research be removed from public view. However, Ross Anderson from Cambridge Universitys Computer Laboratory said that a students thesis cannot be censored and that it was a shameless attempt by UK banks to cover up weaknesses within their system.

Where are you on the Happy Index?

Here, Fred.

Have you been there yet?

:-)

Exec: Chip and PIN problem is indeed well known, although arguably difficult for Mr Average to exploit.

In particular, the exploit works with merchant terminals, not with Bank ATMs, and would be of use to the organised criminal using stolen cards. Essentially, PIN verification can be falsified when the verification is performed locally to the terminal.

Here's the definitive paper.

What you may enjoy much more, however, is Ross Anderson's magisterial rebuke to the Banks.

Ross Anderson socks it to the Banks.


The whole thing is something of a mess, and I don't doubt further exploits will be discovered in the fullness of time.

Someone would find it difficult to buy good's online with my card because they would need my card password to make the payment.

I thought that, if you were under sixteen, you weren't permitted a debit or credit card.

Your right

My 14 year old son has a debit card and a bank account from Natwest. He buys things online.

We were wrong

http://www.natwest.com/personal/current-accounts/g1/young-people.ashx

Natwest's details of 11 - 18 accounts including debit cards.

Oh my God! Oh my God! Hope this doesn't come here! Never mind reading (and filing) her e-mails, I even do some of my wife's online banking!

From http://www.telegraph.co.uk/....

Husband facing five years in jail after hacking wife's email

A husband who suspected his wife was having an affair faces up to five years in jail after reading her emails without her permission.

Prosecutor Jessica Cooper dismissed Walker's claims that he had used his wife's password to log on to the computer
7:09PM GMT 27 Dec 2010
173 Comments

Leon Walker has been charged under anti-hacking laws aimed at preventing identity theft in the US. The 33-year-old had suspected his wife Clara, who had been married twice before was having an affair with her former husband.

He is alleged to have used his computer skills to gain access to her Gmail email account on the shared home computer. Mr Walker discovered a series of emails which confirmed his suspicions that his wife was cheating on him.

With nearly half US divorce cases involving some form of privacy invasion such as the reading of text messages or social networking web pages, the case could have significant legal repercussions.

As her second husband had previously been arrested for beating her in front of her son, Walker handed the emails over to the boy's father. The concerned father, Clara's first husband, sought sole custody of the boy and was forced into revealing Walker had leaked him the emails. When his wife realised her emails had been read she went to the authorities and pressed charges. She later split up from Walker and the couple were divorced earlier this month, when he was arrested for hacking.

Prosecutors in Oakland County, Michigan, charged Walker under the state's anti-hacking laws which were aimed at stopping identity theft and used to prosecute people who hack into Government computers.

Prosecutor Jessica Cooper dismissed Walker's claims that he had used his wife's password to log on to the computer. She said Walker was nothing but a "hacker" who used his skills as a computer technician to gain access to his wife's email account.

"It was password protected, he had wonderful skills, and was highly trained. Then he downloaded them and used them in a very contentious way," she said.

Walker said he had become suspicious of his wife after she failed to return home one night. He claimed he and his wife shared a laptop which he had bought after their marriage and maintained she often left the password to her email account lying around the house they shared in Rochester Hills.

Walker said he was worried as his wife was taking their one year old daughter to stay with her violent ex husband.

"I started putting more thought into it, and thought she was very likely taking our daughter over to the guy's house," Walker said. "So I said to myself, I bet you I can confirm that by reading her email. She kept very simple passwords and she left them in notes and books throughout the house." He added: "I was doing what I had to do. We're talking about putting a child in danger."

Walker, who works as an IT technician for Oakland County, denied that he had hacked into the account. He is due to go on trial in February and could face a maximum of five years in jail if convicted.

I have to admit to being somewhat fascinated by what pops up daily in connection with the murder of Joanna Yeates and giving 'background information' concerning Jo's 'blue-rinsed' Landlord chappie, Chris Jefferies.

My wife and I are actually discussing this case several times a day. Is it the same in your house?

Here's a little bit more on the case, but not necessarily about Jefferies. This was in today's The Scotsman:

It was reported today that police investigating Jo Yeates' death are to look at links to an unsolved murder committed near her home in 1974. Glennis Carruthers, 20, was found strangled outside Bristol Zoo. At the time police interviewed 16,000 people but no one was charged.

By the way, where's Ruth when you need her? ;-)

I was convinced it was her boyfriend that killed her before i knew about her landlord living upstairs , he would have had a spare key to her flat which would explain why her key's were left in the flat but what happen to the pizza that she bought ?

Any DNA will soon bring the case to a close.

The police only went door to door looking for the pizza box and other evidence the day after the recycling men came on Tuesday. Aren't our police wonderful.

Err Hello, extension would indicate not enough evidence to charge said landlord with murder, before condemnation and completion of enquiries innocent until proved guilty should prevail. Even if he does look like a dodgy bastard!