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THE TALK TO YOURSELF THREAD. (NOWT)     

goldfinger - 09 Jun 2005 12:25

Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

aldwickk - 31 Dec 2010 16:49 - 10420 of 81564

I was convinced it was her boyfriend that killed her before i knew about her landlord living upstairs , he would have had a spare key to her flat which would explain why her key's were left in the flat but what happen to the pizza that she bought ?

Any DNA will soon bring the case to a close.

Haystack - 31 Dec 2010 17:10 - 10421 of 81564

The police only went door to door looking for the pizza box and other evidence the day after the recycling men came on Tuesday. Aren't our police wonderful.

Chris Carson - 31 Dec 2010 17:44 - 10422 of 81564

Err Hello, extension would indicate not enough evidence to charge said landlord with murder, before condemnation and completion of enquiries innocent until proved guilty should prevail. Even if he does look like a dodgy bastard!

aldwickk - 31 Dec 2010 19:53 - 10423 of 81564

No one is saying his guilty. Extension would indicate the police are waiting for forensic evidence. Did you read today's paper's ? sound's like a right pervert.

Haystack - 31 Dec 2010 20:10 - 10424 of 81564

I think they have recourse to two more extensions of up to 36 hours each requiring a visit to a magistrate. The maximum once the clock starts ticking is 96 hours unless terrorist offence.

Fred1new - 31 Dec 2010 20:24 - 10425 of 81564

"Takes one to know one" comes to mind!

But I would hang him now. Why waste public money!

Chris Carson - 31 Dec 2010 20:44 - 10426 of 81564

aldwick - Did you read todays paper ?

What paper was that then The Sun? The Star? What kin planet are you on!

aldwickk - 31 Dec 2010 22:58 - 10427 of 81564

Not the one your on

ExecLine - 01 Jan 2011 00:18 - 10429 of 81564

Happy '1.1.11' everybody.

:-)

Haystack - 01 Jan 2011 01:35 - 10430 of 81564

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/police-granted-extension-to-question-yeates-landlord-2173358.html

Saturday's Independent

"It emerged yesterday that detectives had been watching the retired teacher for several days prior to his arrest."

This_is_me - 01 Jan 2011 21:11 - 10431 of 81564

The Urine test (This was written by Paul Watson a fireman - and what he says
makes a lot of sense .)

I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.

In order to earn my monthly pay, I work on a fire station for the Fire and Rescue Service, I am required to pass a urine test for drugs and alcohol at my three yearly medical, with which I have no problem.

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a benefits cheque, when I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand that I have no problem with helping people to get back on their feet.

I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their arse drinking beer and smoking dope.

Could you imagine how much money the government would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a benefit cheque?

This_is_me - 04 Jan 2011 08:39 - 10432 of 81564

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental" was the reply, "we got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser... "that's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich" laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful" explained the woman "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked so they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28 year old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodelling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too were overbooked, so they apologised and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"


He said: "Who the **** did your hair?"

ExecLine - 05 Jan 2011 15:10 - 10433 of 81564

What happens when Capitalism fails to work:

The ruins of Detroit

eg, "In December 2001, the old Highland Park police department in Detroit was temporarily disbanded. The building it vacated was abandoned with everything in it: furniture, uniforms, typewriters, crime files and even the countless mug-shots of criminals who had passed through there.........."

and there's more.

eg, By the 1950s, Detroit was home to almost 2 million people, and its mainly single-storey suburbs had spread over 120 square miles.

Detroit's dramatic decline began soon afterwards, though, and those same suburbs would play their part in the long saga of abandonment and decay.

The collapse of the automobile industry started in the 1950s and reached crisis point in the 1960s and 1970s, due mainly to the demand for cheaper imported cars, made mainly in Japan, and the attendant rise in global oil prices.

The so called "white flight" from the city centre began in the 1950s and soonan increasingly black city was surrounded by a ring of communities that were all white.

This "white noose", as one contemporary observer referred to it, helped strangle the inner city, both economically and socially, turning it into a series of large ghettos intercut by freeway. Unrest reached a head in 1967, when 43 people were killed in a week of rioting that started after police officers raided an after-hours drinking club and which left the downtown streets looking like a war zone.

Since then, the city has been left increasingly to its own devices abandoned by politicians, planners, developers and businesses, by all, in fact, but the black urban poor.

"Even grocery stores and supermarkets disappeared from the city," writes Sugrue. "By the first decade of the 21st century, observers described Detroit as 'a food desert' a place without even a single, well-stocked supermarket within its boundaries."

A gallery of 16 amazing pictures of the 'ruins of Detroit'

This_is_me - 06 Jan 2011 16:32 - 10434 of 81564

Politically incorrect jokes
In a pub quiz the other day, I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, the correct answer is Africa .

I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche & mentioned it on Facebook.
I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4,000 Muslims have added me as a friend!!

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk:
"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.

The red cross have just knocked at our door and ask if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan, I said we would love to, but our hose only reaches to the bottom of the garden.

aldwickk - 06 Jan 2011 17:26 - 10435 of 81564

T I M

Does Frankie Boyle know you are stealing his jokes ?

This_is_me - 06 Jan 2011 17:55 - 10436 of 81564

Are these not too clean for Frankie?!

MightyMicro - 06 Jan 2011 23:27 - 10437 of 81564

Exec: Thanks for flagging the stuff about Detroit. Truly scary visions of a post-apocalyptic world.

ExecLine - 07 Jan 2011 10:34 - 10438 of 81564

MM

Thanks for your comment. We really had absolutely no idea about this type of American problem and there's not a lot one can really do about it.

So that's two big US cities, that in modern times, have been hit really hard. Namely New Orleans with the big flood and Detroit with the collapse of the US car industry.

Are you aware of any more?

And also, in Australia they have flooding over an area bigger than France and Germany combined.

Pehaps we should count our blessings here in the UK?

This_is_me - 07 Jan 2011 13:16 - 10439 of 81564

Perhaps we should regard it as a warning.
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