Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/police-granted-extension-to-question-yeates-landlord-2173358.html

Saturday's Independent

"It emerged yesterday that detectives had been watching the retired teacher for several days prior to his arrest."

The Urine test (This was written by Paul Watson a fireman - and what he says
makes a lot of sense .)

I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.

In order to earn my monthly pay, I work on a fire station for the Fire and Rescue Service, I am required to pass a urine test for drugs and alcohol at my three yearly medical, with which I have no problem.

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a benefits cheque, when I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand that I have no problem with helping people to get back on their feet.

I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their arse drinking beer and smoking dope.

Could you imagine how much money the government would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a benefit cheque?

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental" was the reply, "we got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser... "that's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich" laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful" explained the woman "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked so they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28 year old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodelling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too were overbooked, so they apologised and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"


He said: "Who the **** did your hair?"

What happens when Capitalism fails to work:

The ruins of Detroit

eg, "In December 2001, the old Highland Park police department in Detroit was temporarily disbanded. The building it vacated was abandoned with everything in it: furniture, uniforms, typewriters, crime files and even the countless mug-shots of criminals who had passed through there.........."

and there's more.

eg, By the 1950s, Detroit was home to almost 2 million people, and its mainly single-storey suburbs had spread over 120 square miles.

Detroit's dramatic decline began soon afterwards, though, and those same suburbs would play their part in the long saga of abandonment and decay.

The collapse of the automobile industry started in the 1950s and reached crisis point in the 1960s and 1970s, due mainly to the demand for cheaper imported cars, made mainly in Japan, and the attendant rise in global oil prices.

The so called "white flight" from the city centre began in the 1950s and soonan increasingly black city was surrounded by a ring of communities that were all white.

This "white noose", as one contemporary observer referred to it, helped strangle the inner city, both economically and socially, turning it into a series of large ghettos intercut by freeway. Unrest reached a head in 1967, when 43 people were killed in a week of rioting that started after police officers raided an after-hours drinking club and which left the downtown streets looking like a war zone.

Since then, the city has been left increasingly to its own devices abandoned by politicians, planners, developers and businesses, by all, in fact, but the black urban poor.

"Even grocery stores and supermarkets disappeared from the city," writes Sugrue. "By the first decade of the 21st century, observers described Detroit as 'a food desert' a place without even a single, well-stocked supermarket within its boundaries."

A gallery of 16 amazing pictures of the 'ruins of Detroit'

Politically incorrect jokes
In a pub quiz the other day, I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, the correct answer is Africa .

I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche & mentioned it on Facebook.
I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4,000 Muslims have added me as a friend!!

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk:
"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.

The red cross have just knocked at our door and ask if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan, I said we would love to, but our hose only reaches to the bottom of the garden.

T I M

Does Frankie Boyle know you are stealing his jokes ?

Are these not too clean for Frankie?!

Exec: Thanks for flagging the stuff about Detroit. Truly scary visions of a post-apocalyptic world.

MM

Thanks for your comment. We really had absolutely no idea about this type of American problem and there's not a lot one can really do about it.

So that's two big US cities, that in modern times, have been hit really hard. Namely New Orleans with the big flood and Detroit with the collapse of the US car industry.

Are you aware of any more?

And also, in Australia they have flooding over an area bigger than France and Germany combined.

Pehaps we should count our blessings here in the UK?

Perhaps we should regard it as a warning.

Anyone fancy this for a job.
Talk about earning danger money.
The actual bit of interest starts after the first minute, which is just daft.


http://www.liveleak.com/mp53/player.swf?config=http://www.liveleak.com/mp53/player_config.php?token=07b_1284580365%26embed=1

Anyone else having difficulty with Plus. The MoneyAm link works OK but I cant seem to get many epics to work. If I go direct to the site I can get these epics via the Advanced Search, something which I cant find when I use the MoneyAm link.

http://www.prisonplanet.com/

Found an interesting site where someone posts their share trades online - www.ShareSpeculator.com anyone know anyother sites like this?

Just in case others are having trouble with the Plus Markets site since it was re-vamped.

Finally found my way round the new site.
If you go direct to Plus Markets, you then click on the 'click here' in bottom of first box. Then hover over plus companies till 4 options open up, click on the bottom one 'Advanced search', then click on 'other companies traded', then put part or full name of company into 'Search by keyword'. This brings up the company. You just click on the company which bring up all the info you require.

Hope this helps anyone who had the same problem.

The Renault Formula One team slapped a silencer on the French national anthem on Thursday after announcing they will race under a British licence this season.

With no active French F1 drivers, and no French grand prix since 2008, Renault were the last ones flying the flag for a country whose heritage and language permeates the sport from chassis to grand prix and on to parc ferme.

If Renault win a Formula One race in 2011, the British national anthem will now be played in celebration.

Happy New Year.


Congratulations to Debbie Abrahams

Labour have comfortably won the Oldham East and Saddleworth by-election with a majority of more than 3,500.

With Labour extending its majority from just 103 at the general election last May to 3,558, tories lead by their PR man Cameron, found a comfortable third place.
.
Hear that the tories are flocking to the Lib Dems in droves. The stories are better.

Bring on the Local elections, on May 5th.

Bye the way, which part of their manifestos are Cameron and Clegg going to renegade on next? So much for principles.

Also, are a coalition pledges worth the paper it they are written on?

Would you buy a second hand car off Cameron or Clegg?


I would count the wheels first and then check the engine, even if you will be able to afford the petrol.

Labour were always going to win the Oldham election. It is a temporary phase. You seem to forget that the Liberals did not win the election and came third. Both parties in the coalition have to give up some of their policies and the Liberals have to give up most. That's reality. It is interesting to note that the Liberals said that during the coalition discussions Labour would not bend on their silly polices to form a coalition. They expected the Liberals to go along with everything that Labour wanted. That's why we have the coalition that we have. The Labour team seem to be the worst yet. Alan Johnson hasn't even got 'O' level Maths and he is shadow Chancellor. How long can he survive with all the gaffs he is making.

What seems to me is without an O level Johnson appears to have more sensible approach to the economy than Porky.

And I the constant whining about the mess left by the previous government is wearing thin. Especially when their are digging a bigger and bigger hole for the country.

It is blaming their parents to avoid their own responsibilities.

Fascinating to watch them blowing into the wind.

I don't think the complaining about the previous government is wearing thin at all. I hope we will be hearing it for a few years yet. I hear lots of people making complimentary comments about the coalition. Oldham is not exactly representative of overall views. It is a pretty left wing constituency. I haven't heard anything sensible from Johnson yet. I did see Darling on TV yesterday on the Politics program. He more or less said that the current Conservative policies were correct. Darling never got the chance to be a proper Chancellor. Brown dictated policy for the Chancellor. I expect this government to turn our economy round during the current parliament.