Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Can I have a drink first. Please, please and I promise not to spill any, and, and, and promise to be good tomorrow.







Or the recognition of failure:-

I haven't done my homework yet.

(Never used that one.)

.

Sky News 3 hours ago....tweet22EmailPrint......Related Content.
..
Enlarge Photo.Paul Daniels Treated After Sooty Pizza Attack
....Veteran TV magician Paul Daniels has admitted needing medical treatment after being hit in the face with a pizza thrown by Sooty, the puppet.

The 73-year-old was filming a scene for the new series of ITV's The Sooty Show when the wayward snack struck him harder than expected on the head.

The incident was witnessed by a shocked Sweep.

But Daniels attempted to play down reports of the incident when he spoke to Sky News.

He said he had driven himself to a "village hospital" after his eye began to sting but was given the all clear after receiving an eye drop.


"It was over a month ago," he said. "I wasn't hospitalised by Sooty, there was a slapstick scene, I got pizza in my eye.

"It stung so on the way home that evening I called into a local wonderful village hospital.

"A nurse said, 'Oh no that's all right'...

"That was it it was all over, she put a little drop in my eye, it did sting for about a minute, and then gone."

Co-star Richard Cadell, who had been operating Sooty the puppet, was devastated after throwing the pizza much softer in the first take.

He told Sky News: "Paul turned round and said 'Come on Sooty, give it some welly!', so I did. The second throw hit him hard.


"Debbie (McGee, Paul's wife and assistant) laughed when it hit him but soon realised he'd been hurt.

"Paul was a childhood hero of mine so you can imagine how I felt."

Daniels - who is performing at his year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival - later denied asking for the pizza to be thrown harder when speaking to Sky News.

He also denied appearing dazed, saying this was his "normal walking state".

The offending scene can be viewed when The Sooty Show returns to ITV in September.
...

I see Cameron and the fox have kept their promises over Military funding and upgrading of weaponry.

They have told new recruits to bring their own i-pods, pea shooters, jeans and T-shirts.

What L Bs.

Can't even call this a U-turn.



Sorry NM.

.

PS,

Sorry forgot.

Some have been asked to bring their own bath ducks to replace the aircraft carriers.

Doubt that there will be any board jobs going for them on Arms Manufacturers, when they are out of office.

========

Why in an economic crisis are the overpaid MPs and rest of Government in "recess", while at the same time others should be accepting cut backs and efficiency plans.


On second thoughts, perhaps, it is better if the recess is extended



What a coalition of ?!!!!!

Patience is a virtue possess it if you can, seldom in a women, never in a man.

or to put it another way.

Be fearful when people are greedy. Be greedy when people are fearful.

Good old Warren.

The Bible is the authority that we have been given by God for moral decisions. The Bilbe encourages the eating of animals, therefore there is nothing wrong with eating animals.

The quality of food produced by the farming industries in various parts of the world is, of course, another matter. Not to mention what the food processing industries do when raw food and assorted chemicals go into their factories.

Legally you can't be cruel to an invertebrate since it was decided some time ago that they lacked a proper brain capable of feeling what we call pain. Unless you have studied the matter or at least read the scientific liturature you are not qualified to do more than ask the question.

I am always amazed by the number of people (mostly men it has to be said) who complain about cruel farmers etc. and then go out with a selection of barbed hooks with the intention of getting them stuck in a fish's mouth or stomach. A fish is a vertebrate.

To accept the above you would have to start by believing in a god which fortunately is a diminishing habit.

In the absense of a god we just have to accept morality being an acceptable style of behaviour and not much more. Our laws have nothing to do with morality, but are founded on what is convenient and good for society. Morality is a vague term with little to base it on.

As the markets have had the sort of day that makes us all in need of a laugh, here are just a few.

The Darwin awards are out!
Yes, it's that time of year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed to honour the least evolved on the planet.

All that follows are taken from media reports, so very probably true.

And the winner is:

1. When his 38 calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California the would-be robber, James Elliot, did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

Honourable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer..... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape....

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.


They walk among us and can reproduce.

God does exist and fortunately belief in that fact is increasing in the world although not in our once great country. It is increasing most in developing countries and decreasing most in declining ones. That is hardly a coincidence.

Morality is not a vague term; it does not contridict what the Bible tells us about the way we should behave.

Toon boss Alan Pardew fears Newcastle United may be forced to start a season without a recognised idiot in the side for the first time in decades.
Losing a Grade A fruitcake like Joey Barton so close to the big Premier League kick off is a massive blow, said Pardew, and a first for the club in recent years.
So much of our preparation has been around employing a moron like Barton to shaft our chances left, right and centre, now all that hard work has been undone.
The St Jamess Park outfit has relied on a steady stream of cretins in the team to derail any hopes of silverware since their last trophy win back in 1955.
And club historian Walter Greendale, 87, fears moves to abandon Newcastle s much-vaunted sign-a-simpleton policy may have serious consequences for the Tyneside club.
Newcastle fans turn up to watch their side implode not win trophies, he said.
Goals and winning games are all very well for your Manchester Uniteds and Liverpools, but Toon fans prefer to see their players going off the rails in spectacular fashion.
Lee Bowyer and Kieron Dyer fighting on the pitch, Barton getting banged up, Craig Bellamy ranting against Shearer thats what theyve come to expect.
To start playing football could be a disaster. The last time we did that, only the late intervention of a hysterical Kevin Keegan squealing Id love it on TV managed to save us from winning a league title.
Newcastle fans last night gathered outside St Jamess Park calling for club owner Mike Ashley to resign.
Hes making a mockery of this club, said Toon fan Tony Superkev Number 9 Smith, 27, of Birtley, We want our loonies.
NUFC fan Alan Shearer Shearer Todd, 31, of Gateshead , said: Ashley did us proud when he brought in barking mad Joe Kinnear as manager, but recently hes let us down big style.
Getting rid of home-grown mentalist Andy Carroll has done us no favours. And no sooner does Nile Ranger show traditional brainless Toon prowess, getting pictured in the tabloids brandishing a handgun, than the club put him up for sale.
This guy has no respect for Newcastle s decades of dimwittery.
As The News Grind went to press, Paul Gascoigne was reportedly heading to St Jamess Park in his dressing gown armed with a fishing rod and a roast chicken.

This-is-me - LOL I'm just relieved David Moyes hasn't stepped in (yet). The guy is a nutter but seems to fit Evertons signings ambitions at the mo either free or on loan :O)

It is clear that belief in a god is declining in proportion to the level of education in a population. The countries that are still majority believers are for the most part third world countries and those still living as in a time warp of a few hundred years ago. One of the greatest benefits of education is the sharp decrease in the belief of an extra terrestial being supposedly looking after us.

There has to be something otherwise we wouldn't be here

This man would never make a double glazing salesman.

Two days ago I was walking through my local town when I was approached by a man wearing a 'T' shirt printed with 'God Loves You'.
He was handing out leaflets.

First he asked me if I had found God.
I was tempted to reply, 'That I did not know he had been lost', but instead I replied, " No and I am not interested".
He replied, " God still loves you, even if you are a none believer".
This time, I couldn't resist, so I replied, "Well if he does, whats the point in joining".
He obviously thought that I was a lost cause, and withdrew his leaflet.

I have never believed although I did bible study for 4 years purely out of interest. The more I studied the more of a none believer I became.

During my life, I have known many believers both good and bad. Likewise I have known many none believers, equally good an bad.

Give me a good honest none believer over an evil believer any day.

I agree with Haystack re his aliens, fairies and the like similarities.

I do believe there was a man called Jesus, who was a great orator and leader of men, but nothing more. Stories have grown around this person, but that is all they are stories. Many of these stories advocate, murder, torture and many more evils.

Many religious people believe all he good sections of the bible stories, but when faced with the bad, violent section, used the excuse that over time facts have become twisted.

If I had to take a religion, I would be a Sun worshiper.
After all we know as fact that without the sun, and many other things in this world, we would not exit. No one can prove to me that without God the same would apply.

Aldwick - even if you are right that "there has to be something" that created life it doesn't mean that something should set the moral standards for our daily behaviour or indeed that it wants to.

My wife's grandfather was the leader of a small religious sect and was very good at it - manage some impressive "healing" and served as good moral advisor. He made a lot of money out of it (for his religious group of course) but I have it on good authority that is was all bollocks. If he had been alive a couple of thousand years ago he could have been Jesus Christ :)

Although a none believer, I have nothing against any religion as long as it does good and not harm. Problem is most religions are used by many people as an excuse to do great harm, you only have to look at the past and present day Islam believers and of course the past day Cristian's.
I also believe that the belief in a religion, even when as I believe such beliefs are misguided can and do, achieve good.
Many believers are helped in their daily lives because they believe, and I am sure that if I was a believer, such beliefs would have helped me to cope with those tragedies of life we all go through.
I have been in a few life/death situations where I have offered up a quick prayer. Does that make me a believer. No, I don't think so, as if a witchdoctor had been passing by, with a couple of bags of chicken entrails, no doubt I would have begged him for help as well.
And that to me is what it is all about. Religion itself does exist as we can all believe in anything. The crux of the matter is, believing in something does not make it true.

Greek.

Isaacs,

When I read your missives, I think of you as the Second Coming, and the present market conditions are a penance inflicted by you on us.

I am reminded of one of the "Dad, Dad,..." monologues of Al Read, the Radio comic who was predominant in the 50's and 60's.

Dad, Dad. Where is God, Dad?

God is everywhere, son.

Dad, Dad. Is he there, here, in that bus, sat on that seat, etc, etc, Dad?

Yes. God is everywhere.

Dad, Dad. Is he on your shoulder, Dad? Dad, Dad. Watch me knock him off, Dad!