Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Once again, the phone hacking scandal is really hotting up.

The Guardian are running a 'live time line of events' at

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/blog/2011/aug/16/phone-hacking-scandal-live

As I write, the latest piece to hit the web site is this:

5.38pm: Tommy Sheridan's lawyer, Aamer Anwar, has just released this statement about Andy Coulson, David Cameron's former head of communications who was editor of the News of the World at the time of the alleged phone-hacking.

Today the Culture,Media & Sport Select Committee disclosed that it was alleged that Andy Coulson was aware of phone hacking. If true this is a serious contradiction of the evidence given by Andrew Coulson during the Perjury Trial of Tommy Sheridan. Strathclyde Police's majory inquiry into perjury and phonehacking should now consider interviewing Clive Goodman as well as Andy Coulson.

We were told repeatedly during Mr Sheridan's trial by the police and the Crown, that perjury strikes at the heart of the administration of justice and nobody was above the law- We now expect to see a similar robust response to News of the World and for arrests to take place in Scotland, and if it is shown that people lied in the Glasgow High Court they should go to prison."

Labour MP, Tom Watson, says there are a lot of people with questions to answer if allegations of a phone hacking cover up, made by former News of the World royal correspondent Clive Goodman, are true

Mr Watson, who sits on the Culture, Media and Sport Select Committee, described the letter written by Clive Goodman, the News of the World's former royal correspondent, to News International executives as "explosive".

The letter, written in 2007 shortly after Goodman was released from prison following his prosecution for intercepting voicemails belonging to members of the royal househould, claims phone hacking was widespread at the paper.

Goodman's letter claimed phone hacking was "widely discussed" at editorial conferences until Andy Coulson, the former editor, banned explicit references to the illegal practice. The letter was sent to Les Hinton, the executive chairman of News International, but no action was taken.

"If the letter and the facts contained within Clive Goodman's letter are true then it is a damning revelation," the Labour MP said.

You must allow for the fact that the letter was written by Clive Goodman while he was suing the NOW for wrongful dismissal. It may not carry as much weight as it would seem.

The cost of providing social housing for migrants who come to Britain will hit 1 billion a year for the next 25 years, campaigners say.
MigrationWatch UK said 45 extra homes would need to be built every day, the equivalent of 1,400 a month, with each one funded by a public sector grant of around 60,000.
As waiting lists for social housing have increased in England over the last eight years, the campaigners also found that migrants from outside the EU were more likely to live in social housing than those born in the UK.
Just 17% of those born in the UK require social housing, compared with 80% of migrants from Somalia, 49 of those from Bangladesh.
Sir Andrew Green, chairman of MigrationWatch UK, said: "The impact of immigration on the availability of social housing for British people has been airbrushed out for too long.
"Either the Government must cut immigration very substantially as they have promised or they must invest very large sums in the construction of extra social housing."
Its report found the Government projected that the number of households in England would increase by 232,000 each year to 2033, but would be just 149,000 with no net migration.
This "implies that net immigration over this period will lead to 83,000 additional households each year", the campaign group said.
In its calculation, the report authors assumed that 20% of migrant households will need social housing, "in line with the proportion of migrants who already have social housing tenures now after living for five or more years in the UK" - the equivalent of 16,600 a year or 45 every day.
It also found that social housing units are currently funded "on average with around 60,000 of public sector grant", taking the total cost to about 1 billion a year.

Scottish SPCA helps silly cow remove head from ladder

Don't panic my dear , its only a Comet


http://www.advfn.com/cmn/fbb/thread.php3?id=24238375

http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.cfm?release=2011-135

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-14581874

NASA: Aliens might destroy us because of our gases

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/jan/18/jim-hansen-obama

Read Aloud For Best Effect!!!

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

I think they should adopt a mixture of White London Chav and Black London rap English

Some old Economics theory:






What have we learned in 2,066 years

"The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled,
public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be
tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should
be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to
work, instead of living on public assistance."

- Cicero - 55 BC

So, evidently, nothing.

Very true

Mary Archer has unfortunately suffered with bladder cancer. They weren't going to say anything about it, because it is a bit embarrassing really.

Apparently, it just leaked out......

(cough, cough)

More at http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2028065/The-operation-risky-I-alternative-Mary-Archer-reveals-battle-bladder-cancer--Jeffrey-proved-rock.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

On a brighter note, the 7-hour operation has been a complete success.

Met interpreter and translation costs.
2005-6 8823838
6-7 9881520
7-8 10541236
8-9 10897315
9-10 9598849
10-11 8829552

Total 50,188,822 Pounds.

Don't forget to add the cost of translating from CHAV and Rap street talk to English.

Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest:

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman delivers a set of identical twins and decides to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" the friars to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Well, you are a pundit Exec!

Q. How do you confuse an Archaeologist?
A. Give him a Tampon and ask him what period it was from.