Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

(For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )

That's 99.9 % of us on here.

Hmmm? Had I better edit that bit out then?

Here's another joke:

.

Daddy , how was I born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you
Will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:









'You got Male!"

A 70-year-old man who reportedly looted a Sainsburys is the oldest person to be arrested so far in connection with the riots that swept across London two weeks ago.

Police said that the pensioner was held in relation to the incident in Ealing, West London - the same area where 68-year-old Richard Mannington Bowes was killed after he was attacked while confronting a group of rioters setting fire to two industrial bins.

A spokesman told Yahoo! News that the man was let off with a caution.

The elderly man who is not being named by police is one of thousands of people to have been arrested in relation to the disorder and violence that spread through the capital a fortnight ago.

A Scotland Yard spokeswoman is quoted in The Mirror as saying: This man was deeply ashamed of himself and it was decided it wasnt in the public interest to lock him up.

Police have said that the oldest person charged in connection with disorder was John Maughan, 63, from Camden, north London, who was charged on 12 August with handling stolen goods.

The youngest person arrested for looting during the riots is 11-years-old.

At 70 years old he should have known better.
If the courts are saying that juveniles doing the crime should receive some form of punishment, then I would have given him at least some community service.
Also he should have been named and so called shamed.
No sympathy.

It as to be case by case , what did he loot a M&S sandwich ? Would he do the crime again would it be worth the tax payers money to charge him and take up more police time and the court's

No doubt he would have pleaded guilty.
As to would he do the crime again and could it have been something like a sandwich, I don't know, but a community service should have been a minimum.
It has been said, quite rightly, that even a minor theft at the time of the riots, should be treated more seriously as it was a joint enterprise, either by being jointly involved or because of the mass involvement.

I wonder if he would have been 'ashamed' if he had not been caught!

I know he is 70 - but it would be quiet clever to steal an M&S sarnie from Sainsbury at any age :-)

But more difficult from Lidl

.

I was simply alluding to the fact that he was caught looting in Sainsbury!

I hadn't read about that case so i didn't know any detail's , just used the M&S sandwich as an example

Mr Davutoglu, meanwhile, pledged that Turkey would give $300m (180m) to Libya: $100m in a non-repayable grant; $100m cash to help form a new government and fund immediate needs, especially during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan; and $100m for projects. He expressed confidence in the TNC and in Mr Abdul Jalil.

If Turkey can give 180m , why do they need a EU bail out ?

http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/news/article-2027231/Sarkozy-Merkel-plot-13bn-tax-raid-UK-save-euro.html

The Urine test (This was written by a rig worker in the North Sea - What he says makes a lot of sense!)



I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.

In order to earn that pay cheque, I work on a rig for a drilling contractor. I am required to pass a random urine test for drugs and alcohol, with which I have no problem.

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a benefits cheque because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand that I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.

I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sit on their arse drinking beer and smoking dope.

Could you imagine how much money the government would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a benefit cheque?

Illegal Immigrants Poem




I cross ocean, poor and broke.
Take bus, see employment folk.

Nice man treat me good in there.
Say I need to see welfare.


Welfare say, 'You come no more, we send cash right to your door.'

Welfare cheques - they make you wealthy! NHS - it keep you healthy!

By and by, I get plenty money.
Thanks to you, you British dummy!

Write to friends in motherland.
Tell them 'come fast as you can.'

They come in turbans and Ford trucks,
And buy big house with welfare bucks!

They come here, we live together.
More welfare cheques, it gets better!

Fourteen families, they moving in,
but neighbour's patience wearing thin.
Finally, British guy moves away.
Now I buy his house,then I say,

'Find more immigrants for house to rent.'
And in the yard I put a tent.





Everything is very good,
and soon we own the neighbourhood.



We have hobby, it's called breeding.Welfare pay for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist? Wives need pills? We get free! We got no bills!
British crazy! They work all year, to keep the welfare running here.
We think UK darn good place.
Too darn good for British race!
If they no like us, they can scram. Got lots of room in Afghanistan !

Species count put at 8.7 million

The natural world contains about 8.7 million species, according to a new estimate described by scientists as the most accurate ever.

But the vast majority have not been identified - and cataloguing them all could take more than 1,000 years.

.