Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Hi Mnamreh,

Great idea, as I suppose that as I am 63 it would mean I am not included as they would be too late.
But seriously, can you see any better future than my scenario?

Think you are perfectly correct, my friend and I stood a car boot at a place called Lydiate outside Aughton in Lancashire - we were astounded at the many foreign speaking people and were hard pushed to spot an English person for some few hours (apart from the stall holders). It has been the topic of conversation between our families and friends for a week. So much so we will not be doing another one. Enoch Powell had it right. I can remember as a child my Father relating to same some 50 years ago and by goodness how right he was. It does not help us and is definitely frightening for our future generations.

You have a very solid point, Greek.

My best experience on this kind of topic, was when my wife and I went to pay in some cheques at the Lloyds TSB branch in the middle of Northampton.

The Polish customer base is now so big that there are now several Polish speaking staff and up on the walls, there are about 8-10 notices in Polish too. We also estimated that in the lines to the cashiers, that there were easily 100 Polish people too.

I must say that I admire them all because of the diversity of their excellent 'family', educational and work ethics. I do think they are rescuing the whole place and that we wouldn't get anything done without them. Even the travelling hairdresser and also the carer to one of my neighbours are Polish.

Not many Asians though, so do you fancy a move?

.

Greekman, mnamreh - excellent posts.

Shear Luck or wot? Read this 'Top 10' eye-catching story.....

Gardener's Eye Impaled By Pruning Shears
1:37pm UK, Tuesday August 30, 2011

Lulu Sinclair, Sky News Online

An 86-year-old American man is recovering after being accidentally impaled through his eye socket by pruning shears.



Leroy Luetscher, from Tuscon, Arizona, dropped his shears while working in the garden.

They landed blade side down in the ground but, when Mr Luetscher went to pick them up, he lost his balance and fell face down on the handle.

The handle - measuring around 10 inches - penetrated his eye socket underneath the eye and went down into his neck.

Mr Luetscher was rushed to University Medical Centre for treatment where surgeons carried out a complicated operation to remove the shears and save his eye.

"You wouldnt believe your eyes," said surgeon Julie Wynne.

"Half of the pruning shears was sticking out and the other half was in his head."

"You just wonder how the handle of the pruning shears got there."

Fellow surgeon Lynn Polonski said: "The handle was actually resting on the external carotid artery in his neck.

"With the help of Dr Wynne and Dr Kay Goshima, we decided we could safely remove the pruning shears. We are so happy that Mr Luetscher did not lose his eye or any vital structures."

Mr Luetscher knows he is lucky to be alive. "I am so grateful to the doctors and staff at UMC."

.

Without going into too much detail, I once attended an accident where a car had left the road, ploughing into a bar type fence.
The angle of the crash caused a broken piece of fence about 4"x4" to enter the front of the car and then the upper intestine area of the male driver about a third of the way from the outer edge of his waist area, going completely through in-bedding itself in the drivers seat.
The victim was taken to hospital still seated in the drivers seat after the seat was cut out of the car.
To save the patient they had to open him up from the side, sort of creating a hinge effect. They then bent him over sideways opening a gap so that they could remove the wooded rail.
The could not just pull the rail out as it would have caused such colossal damage it would have been fatal, IE re damaging the area that it had damaged on the way in.
Its the same as pulling a knife out, it does more damage than the initial entry wound.
If I had not seen about this first hand (the accident, not the operation of course), I would not have believed it possible.
I know he lived to walk again, and he was still alive 3 years later.
He could still be alive today, although I don't know.

That was about 10 years ago.

There was a training video made of the accident scene, recovery and operation.
I witnessed many accident hardened colleagues who turned a funny shade of pale.

Please Greekman do not let me go into the ins and outs of Policing I could write a book. You just mentioned hardened colleagues who turned a funny share of pale I have experienced Bobbys vommiting over the sight of blue bottles.

3 monkies - Go on fill your boots,please enlighten us on the ins and outs of Policing! You sound like a hardened mortician? do tell.....

There is nothing hard about me CC probably seen too much and would certainly not be putting it in writing. Good Night.

I once had a morning appointment broken at a potential customer's home. However, the guy did come to the door and explain how he had been up all night and had just forgotten to ring me to postpone because he was still asleep and then how now, he just didn't feel like discussing business at all." He kindly asked if I could come back the following day at the same time. Thus, with the signs of some business so strongly favourable and so obviously forthcoming, I duly agreed to reappoint as he suggested.

The following day arrived - and so did I.

My customer went on to explain how he was a Traffic Cop and had, during the previous night, attended the scene of an accident where an articulated lorry had backed out onto a main road at Outlane, which is just outside Huddersfield on the A62 and in between Huddersfield and Rochdale, and had been consequently hit by a car coming along the main road.

Apparently, a couple had beeen driving along in a car at about 2am and had not seen the lorry, which was 'sideways on to the road' when the collision happened.

The driver of the car and his passenger too, both ended up with 'decapitations' as they smashed into and went under the unlit trailer of the artic'.

Not only had the cop had to deal with the accident and take all the measurements and particulars and deal with the clearing up and the rest of it, but he had also had to go on to Rochdale to knock on the door of the house where the lady passenger's home was and tell her, now widower husband, of the circumstances of the accident and of the death of his, obviously unfaithful, lady wife.

Next he had to go back to Huddersfield and tell the driver's wife of the circumstances of the accident and of the death of her obviously unfaithful husband.

Apparently, the widow had absolutely no idea of the infidelity of her husband and so my client had to give her 'double dose of bad news', just like he had done back in Rochdale.

What an absolutely terrible night's work for a traffic cop, eh?

Oh, and yes, I did get the order from him, as I suspected I would. The indications had been so strong, that he really needed what I was selling him.

I often wondered afterwards, as to whether I got my order because I had been so shocked and sympathetic to his story and the horrible requirements of his job?

How your fridge works (so that you can better understand how to mend it when it goes wrong)

This is the brave new world of the EU!!!



Pythagorean theorem: ...........................................24 words.

Lord's prayer:....................................................... 66 words.

Archimedes' Principle: ........................................... 67 words.

10 Commandments: ............................................ 179 words.

Gettysburg address: ............................................ 286 words.

US Declaration of Independence : .................... 1,300 words.

US Constitution with all 27 Amendments: .......... 7,818 words.

EU regulations on the sale of cabbage:....... 26,911 words.


SORT OF PUTS THINGS INTO PROPER PERSPECTIVE, DOESN'T IT?

Execline.

Thats all well and good, but nowhere does it explain how to check if the switch that puts the light out when you shut the door is working correctly.
Its obviously easy to check if it comes on when you open the door, but how do you check if it goes out when you shut it.

Skinny,

Perhaps the EU could help with the above query re fridge light problem.
I wonder how many words they would need.

Greek.

.

Greek.
The activating button is usually fairly obvious.
The button on my fridge sometimes sticks in the off
position and I have to press and release it to make
the light come on.
Apologies for taking you seriously :-)

Can you believe Mr Ben here!


and the answer is here. :-))

To all,

I am glad no one took me 100% seriously.

Greek.

I wonder in how many other towns in the UK is the following happening?

Survey reveals upturn in Northampton town centre as number of empty shops decreases

By Wayne Bontoft
Friday 2 September 2011 07:34

FOR THE first time since the depths of the recession, the number of shops which are standing empty in Northampton town centre has decreased.

Every year, the Chronicle & Echo carries out a health check of the town centre to see how many shops are trading and how many are vacant.

In 2009, there were 76 empty shops in the town centre. That number was repeated last year as business leaders felt the impact of the global economic crisis.

But the Chrons latest survey, which was completed yesterday, shows there are now just 69 empty shops in the town and a number of those are currently being fitted out for new businesses.

Business expert, Neil Bartholomey, is the deputy chairman of Northampton Town Centre Ltd, a group set up to improve the town centre.

He said the Chrons survey showed the town was improving and argued it was performing much better than many other parts of the country.

He said: I think things are certainly looking up. The town centre is looking a lot better and more people are coming into town to shop, so people feel a lot more positive about opening businesses.

Wed like to cut the number of empty shops down to less than 50 over the next three or four years. But of course our ambition is not to have any closed shops at all and an environment where businesses feel that if theyre not in Northampton theyre missing out. Hopefully were starting to get that message across now.

The overall percentage of empty shops in Northampton stood at 16 per cent in both 2009 and 2010. It has now dropped to 15 per cent, meaning the town has seen an overall increase of seven new businesses over the past year.

While that growth has seen a number of big new shops open, such as Tesco in Abington Street and Costa Coffee in the Grosvenor Centre, a number of businesses have also either closed or moved into smaller premises, such as Churchs China, which has moved from St Giles Street to The Ridings.

A major investment has also been made in Peacock Place, which is now known as Market Walk and has a focus on fashion.

Despite the centre still having 40 per cent of its shops empty, the centres owners have said they are positive more of their empty units will be filled over the coming months.

A spokesman for the centre said: Were incredibly happy with the way the re-branding has progressed, giving Market Walk a fresh new look and feel.

The centres occupancy is also rising, with a large number of positive new enquiries for the remaining units.