Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Three aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower:
Mongrel, Coot and Bluey .
As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly..
As the ambulance takes the body away,
Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife.

Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Beer.

Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?'
'Coot's wife gave it to me,' Mongrel replies.
'That's unbelievable, you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?'
'Well, not exactly', Mongrel says.
'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Coot's widow."
She said, 'You must be mistaken.. I'm not a widow.'
Then I said, 'I'll betcha a case of beer you are..'

Aussies are good at that sensitive stuff.

..Peacocks Goes Into Administration

By (c) Sky News 2012 | Sky News – 17 minutes ago
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Clothing chain Peacocks has fallen into administration, putting more than 9,500 jobs at risk.

Professional services firm KPMG said it had been appointed administrator to the retailer.

Peacocks, which owns 611 stores and 49 concessions across the UK, as well as its parent company The Peacock Group.

KPMG said all Peacocks stores remain open as it seeks to find a buyer for the business and no redundancies have been made.

Chris Laverty, joint administrator and restructuring partner at KPMG, said: "Like many retailers Peacocks has suffered from tough economic conditions, which have seen its customers reduce their spending on the high street.

"This factor, combined with a surplus of stores and high overheads, led to the business becoming financially unviable in its current form."

Criminalisation of merchant navy officers is rife; it is reported that the Captain has been arrested for leaving the ship before all crew and passengers had disembarked. Whilst it might be considered the correct thing to remain behind (for traditional and professional reasons) to do so is not illegal as far as I am aware, it certainly is not a SOLAS requirement. Perhaps it is enshrined in Italian law, but then, he was only following the example of his forebears (as a generalisation).

It also seems the Captain took the ship off it's normal course for personal reasons endangering the ship and all onboard. If correct he will I am sure go to jail and will never work in the industry again. I am also of the opinion that he would have relied upon his navigational officers to ensure the ship remained in safe water. To have conned the ship by his eye alone without reference a support team would have been madness (perhaps he was). But if we assume (dangerous I know) that he relied upon his bridge team to maintain a safe distance from the rocks then I am wholly unsurprised they hit those very rocks. Standards have declined sharply over the years, with reduced sea time required before sitting professional examinations and therefore much needed experience is not gained. Additionally, too much reliance on electronic navaids (GPS, Radar, AIS etc) rather than looking out of the feckin window.

dustbin of the world = uk - this is a joke i am gonna start selling the big issue - what a state this country is in - looking to boot old people who have worked hard all their lives out of their homes to make way for younger people who probably never paid a dime in taxes even worse dont even speak english - what a disgrace - if we as a small country over crowded did not let in so many people many of whom have no intention of working we would not have a housing shortage - and look at this : http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/9020377/Romanian-Big-Issue-seller-wins-right-to-housing-benefit.html

sick country

grant shcapps os a twot - i hope he remembers this when he gets old:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9019124/State-to-help-elderly-downsize-as-Government-tackles-housing-crisis.html

will he be asking the Queen to downsize then - thought not!!

dc to be honest i am surprised peacocks lasted as long as they did - did they ever make a decent profit? i do feel very sorry for the redundant - i did not realise they had 10,000 + staff - must be awful i hope some sort of rescue / t/o can be mounted for those poor souls

bb i think he will have more than stigma to bear - thinking more like some kind of jail term plus he apparently is 'the most hated man in italy' aka 'captain coward' apparently he now acknowledges he turned to late according to the bbc, and another report that says he was not on board as he 'tripped and fell into the lifeboat' which i personally find extremely hard to believe - in fact i dont believe him!! aside from the poor souls who died and their grieving families it is possible dependent on the terms of insurance may not pay carnival a dime in compo - apparently the captain had done this before and this time his late turn that caused the running aground was because the captain according to the bbc 'was not using instrumentation but by sight because he had done this before and knew the area / depths!!!???' but the worst of all is the dreadful loss of life - one elderly couple who had worked all their life to put their children through school were on their first cruise since retiring i believe and very sadly perished in this.

A decent loss sadly gibby. I see on tonights news the captain of the ship said he fell into a life boat.

yep then he heard his alarm clock ringing!! if that isnt true isnt true i suggest he has just made his situation infinitely worse for himself - he didnt even muster people or abandon ship (apart from himself by the looks of it!) - his 1st officer i believe did that - what sort of person is he?? captain should always be last off regardless

how do you fall into a lifeboat - i mean?? even if it is true he could have got back out - did he knock himself out?! ah well...

I am for one minute backing him, but I bet he went to pieces or in blunt terms lost it.

maybe but to me it was a selfish act as he appears to have put his own soul first everyone else including women and children, the elderly etc last

if he did go to pieces he should not have been in the job at all as he was then quite clearly not fit for purpose

wonder what lloyds will make of all this - i suppose it will come out...... eventually

The final development! Kodak Files for Bankruptcy Protection

Will there be small print for such a stupid act and Lloyds not pay out. I hope so.

My name is Bond.... UK spied on Russians with fake rock

A former UK government official has admitted Britain was caught spying when Russia exposed its use of a fake rock in Moscow to hide electronic equipment.

Common sense prevails :-)

Beer 'must be sold' at Brazil World Cup, says Fifa

Beer must be sold at all venues hosting matches in the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, football's world governing body, Fifa, has insisted.

Fifa General Secretary Jerome Valcke said the right to sell beer must be enshrined in a World Cup law the Brazilian Congress is considering.

Encouraging skinney, but changing Beer to Ale would be more like it.. perhaps that will come later.

Talking of which - I'm quite please with my purchase in Marstons.

Talking of Marstons, I used one of their pubs for accommodation last year and must say was very impressed with the quality, price and service given... The Banks Original was in good nick as well (think they've changed the name of it again).

I like pedigree, but as I've said before, its not that common down this end of the country.

On edit - the shares are now above what I paid and I have the divi to come!